I Want My Epidural Back
eBook - ePub

I Want My Epidural Back

Adventures in Mediocre Parenting

  1. 320 pages
  2. English
  3. ePUB (mobile friendly)
  4. Available on iOS & Android
eBook - ePub

I Want My Epidural Back

Adventures in Mediocre Parenting

About this book

Now that I 'm a mom, I know the most painful part isn't getting something giant through your hooha. It's having a real live child.

If you are the kind of mom who shapes your kiddo's organic quinoa into reproductions of the Mona Lisa, do not read this book. If you stayed up past midnight to create posters for your PTO presidential campaign, do not read this book. If you look down your nose at parents who have Domino's pizza on speed dial, do not read this book.

But if you are the kind of parent who accidentally goes ballistic on your rugrats every morning because they won't put their shoes on and then you feel super guilty about it all day so you take them to McDonald's for a special treat but really it's because you opened up your freezer and panicked because you forgot to buy more frozen pizzas, then absolutely read this book.

I Want My Epidural Back is a celebration of mediocre parents and how awesome they are and how their kids love them just as much as children with perfect parents. Karen Alpert's honest but hilarious observations, stories, quips and pictures will have you nodding your head and peeing in your pants. Or on the toilet if you're smart and read it there.

Trusted by 375,005 students

Access to over 1.5 million titles for a fair monthly price.

Study more efficiently using our study tools.

Information

Year
2016
eBook ISBN
9780062427090
Print ISBN
9780062427083

Table of contents

  1. Dedication
  2. Contents
  3. Introduction
  4. Be the Best Damn Mediocre Parent You Can be
  5. Tell those Overachieving Moms to Suck it
  6. You Want to Watch My Child? Bwhahahahahaha!! Oh Wait, You’re Serious
  7. And for Dinner I Gave My Kids an Eating Disorder
  8. Here an Orifice, there an Orifice, Everywhere an Orifice Orifice
  9. I Tried the Crying it Out Method . . . I’m Still Crying
  10. How the F to Entertain Your Rugrats When You have Nothing to do
  11. My Hubby is Awesome (But Not as Awesome as Me)
  12. Teach Your Douchenugget to be Less Douchey and More Nuggety
  13. Awww Shit, Whatta You Mean they Grow Up??
  14. Acknowledgments
  15. Also by Karen Alpert
  16. Copyright
  17. About the Publisher