Making the Case

How to Advocate for Yourself in Work and Life

Kimberly Guilfoyle

• Publisher: Harper
• Year: 2015
• Print ISBN: 9780062343987
• eBook ISBN: 9780062343994
• Topic: Business
• Subtopic: Business Development
• Index: Business

PART I

ADVOCATING AT WORK

CHAPTER 1

How to Land the Best Job in the World (for You)

While the point of this book is to help you become your own best advocate, I must admit something that even you may not be aware of: you are already a far better self-advocate than you realize.

If, as a child or adolescent, you successfully negotiated with your parents for a later bedtime or curfew; a new computer; concert tickets; or a bold fashion choice, haircut, or body piercing they weren’t too crazy about, then you know what I’m talking about. If, as an adult, you successfully negotiated with your spouse or loved one for a new home, car, or other high-ticket item that was a stretch; a vacation at a far more exotic or adventurous destination than either of you might be used to; or any other indulgence, then you also know a lot more about this business of advocacy than you are letting on.

Somewhere in the midst of those conversations, you knew exactly what to say to speak to the other person’s most reasonable self, to prop open their mind, to get them to respect your wishes, or to reassure them that your judgment could be trusted. You also knew where to draw the line if they didn’t seem likely to agree with you on the first or second try. You may have even gone back and thought of more convincing points to help strengthen your position. Advocacy or negotiation of any kind is just like that. As you will discover repeatedly throughout this book, it is about knowing yourself and, just as important, knowing the person you are appealing to.

For many people, however, the first time they doubt their own power to get what they want is when they must advocate for themselves with a stranger or when the stakes are so high their perception becomes skewed. That’s why job interviews are notoriously difficult for the vast majority of folks, no matter what their age. When you advocate with family members they know your whole history. You know theirs. You know how far to push and under what circumstances there is wiggle room. In the worst job interview situations, there is no such knowledge. It’s not even like the college admission process, where your meeting is at least preceded by a tour of the school (so you know something about them) and a quick read of an essay you wrote (so they know something about you).

During job interviews, you wonder if you sound boastful when telling a stranger about your best qualities—or conversely, you worry that you aren’t selling yourself well enough. It’s hard to be sure how others will receive you when they have no larger context.

That is why before you even apply for a job, it’s important to create some kind of intimacy. I don’t mean sleep with your interviewer. I mean really get to know yourself. Get introspective. Try to discern what you are looking for in life, in an employer, and in a particular job. Be honest with yourself about what your qualifications are. Determine what you still need to learn to do that job effectively. I also mean that you should get to know your potential employer. Acquaint yourself with what the company may be looking for in a new hire as best as you can. Investigate their standing in the industry. Learn more about the people you will likely be working for. What accomplishments are they most proud of? What were their most recent innovations? What are their latest initiatives? How can you help further their goals? How can they help further yours?

Some of this is instinctive, but some of it is learned behavior too. I’ll never forget my first job interview. I literally made something from nothing (or almost nothing), and I did it half on instinct and half on the basis of my dad’s teachings. I landed my very first paying gig with what most people would definitely call no prior experience. When I was in high school I saw an opportunity that seemed to have my name written all over it, even though I clearly didn’t have the qualifications for it on paper. What I did have, however, was confidence, resourcefulness, and a love for the work—to say nothing of an obsession with salami! That’s right, my very first summer job at a deli counter is what propelled me into the amazing career I have today. To say I love salami is a gross understatement. I always thought they called it cured meat because it seemed to cure all my problems, as it did in this instance too. On this momentous occasion, I parlayed my love of salami and my many years of experience making sandwiches for my brother and myself into a management position. I didn’t just go in asking to serve the next customer; I made my case for why I should have the top spot and I supported that case well. I knew myself. I knew where I wanted to go in life. I wanted to be the very best I could be in whatever I pursued.

The job was at a brand-new grocery store near my home. For all intents and purposes it was an entrepreneurial job too because the deli operated as a start-up business within the larger grocery store. When I met with the owner, Mr. Kim, I told him how hard I worked at school and at home, raising my brother ever since my mom died. I explained how I not only maintained a straight-A average, but how I also shopped for groceries, prepared meals, and kept a clean and orderly home. I wanted him to know how responsible I was, especially for my age. (My youth, of course, would have been the obvious deterrent to hiring me.) I also offered to make a delicious sandwich for him to prove my worth in the taste department. I wowed him with my knowledge of all kinds of salami from Genoa to Sopressata, and of course I talked about my fondness for honey baked ham and roasted and smoked turkey too. I told him how badly I wanted the job, how much it meant to me, and how hard I would work for him. (Attitude really does count.) I also told him that the second he didn’t like my service he could let me go. (Always a good closing argument for me.) I knew my qualifications for the job and I left no doubt in his mind about what those qualifications were.

I had done my research. I went to the deli counter at a competing grocery store and saw that they didn’t even have a pricing board, let alone a listing of the different types of sandwiches they offered. I then went to three other delis and copied down their prices. I made a lovely sandwich board of my own to present to him, listing our specials and touting all their mouthwatering ingredients. There would be no doubt that our customers were getting homemade flavor in every bite. I also set my prices five cents lower than the competition’s. Needless to say, I got the job and business was soon booming. All the construction workers in the area came in at lunchtime for a hearty meal. To encourage repeat business, I threw in a free cup of coffee for my regular customers, which was actually funny to me because my dad was Irish so I had grown up in a tea-drinking household. I had never made coffee in my life. In fact, on the day we opened the deli, I asked my first customer to help christen the new coffee machine by brewing a pot with me. After that one stealth course, I was ready to do it on my own. I had determined what I still needed to know to do that job effectively and I set out to learn it.

At the end of the summer I got a big cash bonus from Mr. Kim and an offer to stay on permanently. I had made a higher wage as a manager instead of earning just minimum wage, and I also got to take delicious deli meats home for my family. And that’s not all—I got a tremendous amount of experience dealing with the various vendors who supplied us and with the people we served. How nice was that? Money, food, experience, and a title! Not bad for a beginner, right?

I did a lot of things correctly in that first job interview, but there was even more to discover. If I had known then what I know now, I might have owned and operated a franchise of delis before I ever went off to law school!

Since that time, I have been witness to some of the best advocates in the world. If you have ever watched a prosecuting attorney in action, you understand what I mean. They know themselves; their own strengths and weaknesses; their needs; and the needs of their clients, the defendants, and just about everyone else in the courtroom. That’s how they manage to be as persuasive before twelve strangers in such a high-stakes situation as any of you are when arguing your point with a loved one. They can do this because they are masters at reading people, and they also know how to tell a story that conveys all the pertinent details—a story that compels and holds another’s attention. The best of them:

• Are very clear about their objective.

• Prepare a brief story about their client that reflects their character.

• Have all the facts at their fingertips.

• Consider the perspective of the other side.

• Know everything there is to know about the judge’s leanings, pet peeves, and past rulings and have drawn relevant conclusions about jury members from close observation as well.

• Have consulted with the more seasoned attorneys around them to be sure that their case is airtight.

• Never ask a question that they do not know the answer to

Before I show you how to apply what they know to your own high-stakes quests, let me first address the elephant in the room: while youth unemployment is down sharply from a record 27.3% in October 2009, ten months into the Obama presidency, it is still high by historic standards. As of the writing of this book, it is 18.8%. Add to that, skyrocketing college tuitions, and by default student debt, and you can see that young people are still facing challenges. The combination of this additional debt and a high unemployment rate is forcing many of them to take jobs below their education level just to survive. Some are abandoning the hunt for higher paying jobs and heading to bars, restaurants, and manual labor for a paycheck. Settling for a job below their education level adds downward pressure to youth wages as well. A waitress makes far less than a production assistant at Google or Apple. Others are seeking alternatives, stepping up, and creating their own work as entrepreneurs. But just because these people are their own bosses doesn’t mean they’ve skirted the need to prove themselves. In fact, they have to try twice as hard since they’re required to pitch their services to both funders and clients. Clearly, even with an improved unemployment rate the pressure is still on for recent grads to convince others of their value. There’s no doubt that having the skills to make a strong case for getting hired, with or without experience, remains incredibly important.

The good news is that there are tried and true ways for everyone to make their best case and to prevail, even under the most challenging circumstances.

TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS

Although the overall job market was healthier when I first graduated from law school than it is today, I remember facing similar challenges in my field and city as young people are facing in almost every field and city now. The odds were very much against me too. I was a woman pursuing work in a highly competitive, male-dominated profession. I’m Latina—a first-generation American. I had no family connections in a town where connections definitely open doors. I was raised by a single parent after my mother died, so my responsibilities at home could have easily prevented me from getting the grades required to succeed. The fact that I had to work several jobs to pay for school could have hampered me as well. But from the time I was very young I knew I wanted to be a lawyer and nothing was going to stand in my way. My mother used to do a lot of outreach work with disenfranchised and underrepresented groups in and around the Mission District, where I grew up, and she always took me along with her. We also volunteered at nearby Indian reservations. It was important to her, just as it was to my dad, to help people in need. Because I saw so many victims of violent crimes come from these communities, it became really important to me as well.

To prove I am right about the possibility of prevailing even under tough circumstances, I must tell you that despite these odds, I was hired to fill a coveted position with the San Francisco district attorney’s office as a prosecutor soon after graduating from law school. For those of you who don’t know the legal system—that is almost unheard of. Hundreds of people with a minimum of two years experience as a practicing litigator or trial lawyer apply for the position each year—and reapply in subsequent years when they don’t get in on their first or second try. Hundreds more apply to serve in full-time volunteer attorney positions or clerkships. It was as if I hit the jackpot—as if I won the job lottery! But passion wasn’t the only thing that got me where I wanted to be. Knowing how to advocate for myself according to the rules I have mentioned is what got me there. So don’t let the statistics get you down. With help from this book and your natural talents and abilities, you have a real shot at getting what you want too.

PREPARING FOR SUCCESS

How exactly did I get that job? The secret of that caper was a lot of preplanning.

I knew that to compensate for not having many contacts, I had to start making those contacts and gaining more experience. The way to do that was to get on the inside and that meant doing the one thing I still think is incredibly effective to this day. I pursued an internship.

You see, when I was still a student at the University of San Francisco School of Law, the San Francisco district attorney’s office had a reputation as one of the toughest places to land a job, especially without extensive experience trying and winning cases. From the outside, it appeared to be a very exclusive club because so many of the attorneys and judges had gone to the same schools. Given the relatively low number of positions and how many of them would be filled by people in the know, I was sure I’d have to be superproactive if I was going to acquire the necessary experience to become a prosecutor for the city. Fortunately, I read about a mentoring program through my school that enabled students to do trial advocacy work. That’s where select students are immersed in mock trials to help them learn all kinds of strategies from leading jurists and lawyers in the field. It was one of those rare opportunities to learn from the experts—to practice direct and cross-examinations, interview and prepare witnesses, and select juries. I immediately enrolled, thinking that while it would hardly give me all the experience I needed, it was a solid first step.

I hoped that when I completed this advocacy work I would be an attractive candidate for an internship I wanted that was also being offered through my law school. This internship focused specifically on narcotics prosecution. There were a limited number of slots, as usual, so I knew the competition would be fierce, but I was adamant about getting into that office because I was convinced it would help give me an edge over other applicants when I graduated and was looking for a more permanent job. My plan was to get sponsored by a practicing attorney. I had already gotten into the habit of going to court to watch various prosecutors in action, so I had a good idea of the person I wanted to ask. I had been following the career of an incredibly dynamic assistant district attorney named Michael Hartmann. He was exemplary in every way. He was full of passion and always used such different tools to help build and sustain his cases. You couldn’t help but learn by observing him. He was very theatrical—the delivery of his closing arguments was always so effective. I really believe watching him in those early days helped shape me to be the DA I ultimately became. However, the more I thought about asking him to sponsor my entry into the prosecution internship, the more I realized I wanted to work as his intern instead. Of cour...

Table of contents

• Dedication
• Epigraph
• Contents
• Introduction
• Part I: Advocating at Work
• Part II: Advocating at Home
• Acknowledgments
• Index
• About the Author
• Credits
• Copyright
• About the Publisher