Chapter I
In Which the Reader is Introduced to a Man of Humanity
Late in the afternoon of a chilly day in February, two gentlemen were sitting alone over their wine, in a well-furnished dining parlor, in the town of Pāā, in Kentucky. There were no servants present, and the gentlemen, with chairs closely approaching, seemed to be discussing some subject with great earnestness.
For convenience sake, we have said, hitherto, two gentlemen. One of the parties, however, when critically examined, did not seem, strictly speaking, to come under the species. He was a short, thick-set man, with coarse, commonplace features, and that swaggering air of pretension which marks a low man who is trying to elbow his way upward in the world. He was much over-dressed, in a gaudy vest of many colors, a blue neckerchief, bedropped gaily with yellow spots, and arranged with a flaunting tie, quite in keeping with the general air of the man. His hands, large and coarse, were plentifully bedecked with rings; and he wore a heavy gold watch-chain, with a bundle of seals of portentous size, and a great variety of colors, attached to it, which, in the ardor of conversation, he was in the habit of flourishing and jingling with evident satisfaction. His conversation was in free and easy defiance of Murrayās Grammar, and was garnished at convenient intervals with various profane expressions, which not even the desire to be graphic in our account shall induce us to transcribe.
His companion, Mr. Shelby, had the appearance of a gentleman; and the arrangements of the house, and the general air of the housekeeping, indicated easy, and even opulent circumstances. As we before stated, the two were in the midst of an earnest conversation.
āThat is the way I should arrange the matter,ā said Mr. Shelby.
āI canāt make trade that wayāI positively canāt, Mr. Shelby,ā said the other, holding up a glass of wine between his eye and the light.
āWhy, the fact is, Haley, Tom is an uncommon fellow; he is certainly worth that sum anywhereāsteady, honest, capable, manages my whole farm like a clock.ā
āYou mean honest, as niggers go,ā said Haley, helping himself to a glass of brandy.
āNo; I mean, really, Tom is a good, steady, sensible, pious fellow. He got religion at a camp-meeting, four years ago; and I believe he really did get it. Iāve trusted him, since then, with everything I haveāmoney, house, horsesāand let him come and go round the country; and I always found him true and square in everything.ā
āSome folks donāt believe there is pious niggers Shelby,ā said Haley, with a candid flourish of his hand, ābut I do. I had a fellow, now, in this yer last lot I took to Orleansāāt was as good as a meetin, now, really, to hear that critter pray; and he was quite gentle and quiet like. He fetched me a good sum, too, for I bought him cheap of a man that was ābliged to sell out; so I realized six hundred on him. Yes, I consider religion a valeyable thing in a nigger, when itās the genuine article, and no mistake.ā
āWell, Tomās got the real article, if ever a fellow had,ā rejoined the other. āWhy, last fall, I let him go to Cincinnati alone, to do business for me, and bring home five hundred dollars. āTom,ā says I to him, āI trust you, because I think youāre a ChristianāI know you wouldnāt cheat.ā Tom comes back, sure enough; I knew he would. Some low fellows, they say, said to himāTom, why donāt you make tracks for Canada?ā āAh, master trusted me, and I couldnāt,āāthey told me about it. I am sorry to part with Tom, I must say. You ought to let him cover the whole balance of the debt; and you would, Haley, if you had any conscience.ā
āWell, Iāve got just as much conscience as any man in business can afford to keepājust a little, you know, to swear by, as āt were,ā said the trader, jocularly; āand, then, Iām ready to do anything in reason to āblige friends; but this yer, you see, is a leetle too hard on a fellowāa leetle too hard.ā
The trader sighed contemplatively, and poured out some more brandy.
āWell, then, Haley, how will you trade?ā said Mr. Shelby, after an uneasy interval of silence.
āWell, havenāt you a boy or gal that you could throw in with Tom?ā
āHum!ānone that I could well spare; to tell the truth, itās only hard necessity makes me willing to sell at all. I donāt like parting with any of my hands, thatās a fact.ā
Here the door opened, and a small quadroon boy, between four and five years of age, entered the room. There was something in his appearance remarkably beautiful and engaging. His black hair, fine as floss silk, hung in glossy curls about his round, dimpled face, while a pair of large dark eyes, full of fire and softness, looked out from beneath the rich, long lashes, as he peered curiously into the apartment. A gay robe of scarlet and yellow plaid, carefully made and neatly fitted, set off to advantage the dark and rich style of his beauty; and a certain comic air of assurance, blended with bashfulness, showed that he had been not unused to being petted and noticed by his master.
āHulloa, Jim Crow!ā said Mr. Shelby, whistling, and snapping a bunch of raisins towards him, āpick that up, now!ā
The child scampered, with all his little strength, after the prize, while his master laughed.
āCome here, Jim Crow,ā said he. The child came up, and the master patted the curly head, and chucked him under the chin.
āNow, Jim, show this gentleman how you can dance and sing.ā
The boy commenced one of those wild, grotesque songs common among the Negroes, in a rich, clear voice, accompanying his singing with many comic evolutions of the hands, feet, and whole body, all in perfect time to the music.
āBravo!ā said Haley, throwing him a quarter of an orange.
āNow, Jim, walk like old Uncle Cudjoe, when he has the rheumatism,ā said his master.
Instantly the flexible limbs of the child assumed the appearance of deformity and distortion, as, with his back humped up, and his masterās stick in his hand, he hobbled about the room, his childish face drawn into a doleful pucker, and spitting from right to left, in imitation of an old man.
Both gentlemen laughed uproariously.
āNow, Jim,ā said his master, āshow us how old Elder Robbins leads the psalm.ā
The boy drew his chubby face down to a formidable length, and commenced toning a psalm tune through his nose, with imperturbable gravity.
āHurrah! bravo! what a young āun!ā said Haley; āthat chapās a case, Iāll promise. Tell you what,ā said he, suddenly clapping his hand on Mr. Shelbyās shoulder, āfling in that chap, and Iāll settle the businessāI will. Come, now, if that aināt doing the thing up about the rightest!ā
At this moment, the door was pushed gently open, and a young quadroon woman, apparently about twenty-five, entered the room.
There needed only a glance from the child to her, to identify her as its mother. There was the same rich, full, dark eye, with its long lashes; the same ripples of silky black hair. The brown of her complexion gave way on the cheek to a perceptible flush, which deepened as she saw the gaze of the strange man fixed upon her in bold and undisguised admiration. Her dress was of the neatest possible fit, and set off to advantage her finely moulded shapeāa delicately formed hand and a trim foot and ankle were items of appearance that did not escape the quick eye of the trader, well used to run up at a glance the points of a fine female article.
āWell, Eliza?ā said her master, as she stopped and looked hesitatingly at him.
āI was looking for Harry, please, sir;ā and the boy bounded toward her, showing his spoils, which he had gathered in the skirt of his robe.
āWell, take him away then,ā said Mr. Shelby; and hastily she withdrew, carrying the child on her arm.
āBy Jupiter,ā said the trader, turning to him in admiration, āthereās an article, now! You might make your fortune on that ar gal in Orleans, any day. Iāve seen over a thousand, in my day, paid down for gals not a bit handsomer.ā
āI donāt want to make my fortune on her,ā said Mr. Shelby, dryly; and, seeking to turn the conversation, he uncorked a bottle of fresh wine, and asked his companionās opinion of it.
āCapital, sirāfirst chop!ā said the trader; then turning, and slapping his hand familiarly on Shelbyās shoulder, he addedā
āCome, how will you trade about the gal?āwhat shall I say for herāwhatāll you take?ā
āMr. Haley, she is not to be sold,ā said Shelby. āMy wife would not part with her for her weight in gold.ā
āAy, ay! women always say such things, cause they haānt no sort of calculation. Just show āem how many watches, feathers, and trinkets, oneās weight in gold would buy, and that alters the case, I reckon.ā
āI tell you, Haley, this must not be spoken of; I say no, and I mean no,ā said Shelby, decidedly.
āWell, youāll let me have the boy, though,ā said the trader; āyou must own Iāve come down pretty handsomely for him.ā
āWhat on earth can you want with the child?ā said Shelby.
āWhy, Iāve got a friend thatās going into this yer branch of the businessāwants to buy up handsome boys to raise for the market. Fancy articles entirelyāsell for waiters, and so on, to rich āuns, that can pay for handsome āuns. It sets off one of yer great placesāa real handsome boy to open door, wait, and tend. They fetch a good sum; and this little devil is such a comical, musical concern, heās just the article!ā
āI would rather not sell him,ā said Mr. Shelby, thoughtfully; āthe fact is, sir, Iām a humane man, and I hate to take the boy from his mother, sir.ā
āOh, you do?āLa! yesāsomething of that arā naturā. I understand, perfectly. It is mighty onpleasant getting on with women, sometimes, I alāays hates these yer screechinā, screaminā times. They are mighty onpleasant; but, as I manages business, I generally avoids āem, sir. Now, what if you get the girl off for a day, or a week, or so; then the thingās done quietlyāall over before she comes home. Your wife might get her some earrings, or a new gown, or some such truck, to make up with her.ā
āIām afraid not.ā
āLor bless ye, yes! These critters aināt like white folks, you know; they gets over things, only manage right. Now, they say,ā said Haley, assuming a candid and confidential air, āthat this kind oā trade is hardening to the feelings; but I never found it so. Fact is, I never could do things up the way some fellers manage the business. Iāve seen āem as would pull a womanās child out of her arms, and set him up to sell, and she screechinā like mad all the timeāvery bad policyādamages the articleāmakes āem quite unfit for service sometimes. I knew a real handsome gal once, in Orleans, as was entirely ruined by this sort oā handling. The fellow that was trading for her didnāt want her baby; and she was one of your real high sort, when her blood was up. I tell you, she squeezed up her child in her arms, and talked, and went on real awful. It kinder makes my blood run cold to think of āt; and when they carried off the child, and locked her up, she jest went ravinā mad, and died in a week. Clear waste, sir, of a thousand dollars, just for want of managementāthereās where āt is. Itās always best to do the humane thing, sir; thatās been my experience.ā
And the trader leaned back in his chair, and folded his arm, with an air of virtuous decision, apparently considering himself a second Wilberforce.
The subject appeared to interest the gentleman deeply; for while Mr. Shelby was thoughtfully peeling an orange, Haley broke out afresh, with becoming diffidence, but as if actually driven by the force of truth to say a few words more.
āIt donāt look well, now, for a feller to be praisinā himself; but I say it jest because itās the truth. I believe Iām reckoned to bring in about the finest droves of niggers that is brought ināat least, Iāve been told so; if I have once, I reckon I have a hundred timesāall in good caseāfat and likely, and I lose as few as any man in the business. And I lays it all to my management, sir; and humanity, sir, I may say, is the great pillar of my management.ā
Mr. Shelby did not know what to say, and so he said, āIndeed!ā
āNow, Iāve been laughed at for my notions, sir, and Iāve been talked to. They anāt popālar, and they anāt common; but I stuck to āem, sir; Iāve stuck to āem, and realized well on āem; yes, sir, they have paid their passage, I may say,ā and the trader laughed at his joke.
There was something so piquant and original in these elucidations of humanity, that Mr. Shelby could not help laughing in company. Perhaps you laugh too, dear reader; but you know humanity comes out in a variety of strange forms now-a-days, and there is no end to the odd things that humane people will say and do.
Mr. Shelbyās laugh encouraged the trader to proceed.
āItās strange, now, but I never could beat this into peopleās heads. Now, there was Tom Loker, my old partner, down in Natchez; he was a clever fellow, Tom was, only the very devil with niggersāon principle āt was, you see, for a better hearted feller never broke bread; āt was his system, sir. I used to talk to Tom. āWhy, Tom,ā I used to say, āwhen your gals takes on and cry, whatās the use oā crackin onā em over the head, and knockinā on āem round? Itās ridiculous,ā says I, āand donāt do no sort oā good. Why, I donāt see no harm in their cryinā,ā says I; āitās natur,ā says I, āand if natur canāt blow off one way, it will another. Besides, Tom,ā says I, āit jest spiles your gals; they get sickly, and down in the mouth; and sometimes they gets uglyāparticular yallow gals doāand itās the devil and all gettinā on āem broke in. Now,ā says I, āwhy canāt you kinder coax āem up, and speak āem fair? Depend on it, Tom, a little humanity, thrown in along, goes a heap further than all your jawinā and crackinā; and it pays better,ā says I, ādepend on āt.ā But Tom couldnāt get the hang on āt; and he spiled so many for me, that I had to break off with him, though he was a good-hearted fellow, and as fair a business hand as is goinā.ā
āAnd do you find your ways of managing do the business better than Tomās?ā said Mr. Shelby.
āWhy, yes, sir, I may say so. You see, when I any ways can, I takes a leetle care about the onpleasant parts, like selling young uns and thatāget the gals out of the wayāout of sight, out of mind, you knowāand when itās clean done, and canāt be helped, they naturally gets used to it. āTanāt, you know, as if it was white folks, thatās brought up in the way of āspectinā to keep their children and wives, and all that. Niggers, you know, thatās fetched up properly, haānāt no kind of āspectations of no kind; so all these things comes easier.ā
āIām afraid mine are not properly brought up, then,ā said Mr. Shelby.
āSāpose not; you Kentucky folks spile your niggers. You mean well by āem, but ātanāt no real kindness, arter all. Now, a nigger, you see, whatās got to be hacked and tumbled round the world, and sold to Tom, and Dick, and the Lord knows who, ātanāt no kindness to be givinā on him notions and expectations, and bringinā on him up too well, for the rough and tumble comes all the harder on him arter. Now, I venture to say, your niggers would be quite chop-fallen in a place where some of your plantation niggers would be singing and whooping like all possessed. Every man, you know, Mr. Shelby, naturally thinks well of his own ways; and I think I treat niggers just about as well as itās ever worth while to treat āem.ā
āItās a happy thing to be satisfied,ā said Mr. Shelby, with a slight shrug, and some perceptible feelings of a disagreeable nature.
āWell,ā said Haley, after they had both silently picked their nuts for a season, āwhat do you say?ā
āIāll think the matter over, and talk with my wife,ā said Mr. Shelby. āMeantime, Haley, ...