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Sexy
IT WAS A WIFEāS WORST NIGHTMARE. After nine years of marriage, Laxmi told Miranda, her cousinās husband had fallen in love with another woman. He sat next to her on a plane, on a flight from Delhi to Montreal, and instead of flying home to his wife and son, he got off with the woman at Heathrow. He called his wife, and told her heād had a conversation that had changed his life, and that he needed time to figure things out. Laxmiās cousin had taken to her bed.
āNot that I blame her,ā Laxmi said. She reached for the Hot Mix she munched throughout the day, which looked to Miranda like dusty orange cereal. āImagine. An English girl, half his age.ā Laxmi was only a few years older than Miranda, but she was already married, and kept a photo of herself and her husband, seated on a white stone bench in front of the Taj Mahal, tacked to the inside of her cubicle, which was next to Mirandaās. Laxmi had been on the phone for at least an hour, trying to calm her cousin down. No one noticed; they worked for a public radio station, in the fund-raising department, and were surrounded by people who spent all day on the phone, soliciting pledges.
āI feel worst for the boy,ā Laxmi added. āHeās been at home for days. My cousin said she canāt even take him to school.ā
āIt sounds awful,ā Miranda said. Normally Laxmiās phone conversationsāmainly to her husband, about what to cook for dinnerādistracted Miranda as she typed letters, asking members of the radio station to increase their annual pledge in exchange for a tote bag or an umbrella. She could hear Laxmi clearly, her sentences peppered every now and then with an Indian word, through the laminated wall between their desks. But that afternoon Miranda hadnāt been listening. Sheād been on the phone herself, with Dev, deciding where to meet later that evening.
āThen again, a few days at home wonāt hurt him.ā Laxmi ate some more Hot Mix, then put it away in a drawer. āHeās something of a genius. He has a Punjabi mother and a Bengali father, and because he learns French and English at school he already speaks four languages. I think he skipped two grades.ā
Dev was Bengali, too. At first Miranda thought it was a religion. But then he pointed it out to her, a place in India called Bengal, in a map printed in an issue of The Economist. He had brought the magazine specially to her apartment, for she did not own an atlas, or any other books with maps in them. Heād pointed to the city where heād been born, and another city where his father had been born. One of the cities had a box around it, intended to attract the readerās eye. When Miranda asked what the box indicated, Dev rolled up the magazine, and said, āNothing youāll ever need to worry about,ā and he tapped her playfully on the head.
Before leaving her apartment heād tossed the magazine in the garbage, along with the ends of the three cigarettes he always smoked in the course of his visits. But after she watched his car disappear down Commonwealth Avenue, back to his house in the suburbs, where he lived with his wife, Miranda retrieved it, and brushed the ashes off the cover, and rolled it in the opposite direction to get it to lie flat. She got into bed, still rumpled from their lovemaking, and studied the borders of Bengal. There was a bay below and mountains above. The map was connected to an article about something called the Gramin Bank. She turned the page, hoping for a photograph of the city where Dev was born, but all she found were graphs and grids. Still, she stared at them, thinking the whole while about Dev, about how only fifteen minutes ago heād propped her feet on top of his shoulders, and pressed her knees to her chest, and told her that he couldnāt get enough of her.
Sheād met him a week ago, at Fileneās. She was there on her lunch break, buying discounted pantyhose in the Basement. Afterward she took the escalator to the main part of the store, to the cosmetics department, where soaps and creams were displayed like jewels, and eye shadows and powders shimmered like butterflies pinned behind protective glass. Though Miranda had never bought anything other than a lipstick, she liked walking through the cramped, confined maze, which was familiar to her in a way the rest of Boston still was not. She liked negotiating her way past the women planted at every turn, who sprayed cards with perfume and waved them in the air; sometimes she would find a card days afterward, folded in her coat pocket, and the rich aroma, still faintly preserved, would warm her as she waited on cold mornings for the T.
That day, stopping to smell one of the more pleasing cards, Miranda noticed a man standing at one of the counters. He held a slip of paper covered in a precise, feminine hand. A saleswoman took one look at the paper and began to open drawers. She produced an oblong cake of soap in a black case, a hydrating mask, a vial of cell renewal drops, and two tubes of face cream. The man was tanned, with black hair that was visible on his knuckles. He wore a flamingo pink shirt, a navy blue suit, a camel overcoat with gleaming leather buttons. In order to pay he had taken off pigskin gloves. Crisp bills emerged from a burgundy wallet. He didnāt wear a wedding ring.
āWhat can I get you, honey?ā the saleswoman asked Miranda. She looked over the tops of her tortoiseshell glasses, assessing Mirandaās complexion.
Miranda didnāt know what she wanted. All she knew was that she didnāt want the man to walk away. He seemed to be lingering, waiting, along with the saleswoman, for her to say something. She stared at some bottles, some short, others tall, arranged on an oval tray, like a family posing for a photograph.
āA cream,ā Miranda said eventually.
āHow old are you?ā
āTwenty-two.ā
The saleswoman nodded, opening a frosted bottle. āThis may seem a bit heavier than what youāre used to, but Iād start now. All your wrinkles are going to form by twenty-five. After that they just start showing.ā
While the saleswoman dabbed the cream on Mirandaās face, the man stood and watched. While Miranda was told the proper way to apply it, in swift upward strokes beginning at the base of her throat, he spun the lipstick carousel. He pressed a pump that dispensed cellulite gel and massaged it into the back of his ungloved hand. He opened a jar, leaned over, and drew so close that a drop of cream flecked his nose.
Miranda smiled, but her mouth was obscured by a large brush that the saleswoman was sweeping over her face. āThis is blusher Number Two,ā the woman said. āGives you some color.ā
Miranda nodded, glancing at her reflection in one of the angled mirrors that lined the counter. She had silver eyes and skin as pale as paper, and the contrast with her hair, as dark and glossy as an espresso bean, caused people to describe her as striking, if not pretty. She had a narrow, egg-shaped head that rose to a prominent point. Her features, too, were narrow, with nostrils so slim that they appeared to have been pinched with a clothespin. Now her face glowed, rosy at the cheeks, smoky below the brow bone. Her lips glistened.
The man was glancing in a mirror, too, quickly wiping the cream from his nose. Miranda wondered where he was from. She thought he might be Spanish, or Lebanese. When he opened another jar, and said, to no one in particular, āThis one smells like pineapple,ā she detected only the hint of an accent.
āAnything else for you today?ā the saleswoman asked, accepting Mirandaās credit card.
āNo thanks.ā
The woman wrapped the cream in several layers of red tissue. āYouāll be very happy with this product.ā Mirandaās hand was unsteady as she signed the receipt. The man hadnāt budged.
āI threw in a sample of our new eye gel,ā the saleswoman added, handing Miranda a small shopping bag. She looked at Mirandaās credit card before sliding it across the counter. āBye-bye, Miranda.ā
Miranda began walking. At first she sped up. Then, noticing the doors that led to Downtown Crossing, she slowed down.
āPart of your name is Indian,ā the man said, pacing his steps with hers.
She stopped, as did he, at a circular table piled with sweaters, flanked with pinecones and velvet bows. āMiranda?ā
āMira. I have an aunt named Mira.ā
His name was Dev. He worked in an investment bank back that way, he said, tilting his head in the direction of South Station. He was the first man with a mustache, Miranda decided, she found handsome.
They walked together toward Park Street station, past the kiosks that sold cheap belts and handbags. A fierce January wind spoiled the part in her hair. As she fished for a token in her coat pocket, her eyes fell to his shopping bag. āAnd those are for her?ā
āWho?ā
āYour Aunt Mira.ā
āTheyāre for my wife.ā He uttered the words slowly, holding Mirandaās gaze. āSheās going to India for a few weeks.ā He rolled his eyes. āSheās addicted to this stuff.ā
Somehow, without the wife there, it didnāt seem so wrong. At first Miranda and Dev spent every night together, almost. He explained that he couldnāt spend the whole night at her place, because his wife called every day at six in the morning, from India, where it was four in the afternoon. And so he left her apartment at two, three, often as late as four in the morning, driving back to his house in the suburbs. During the day he called her every hour, it seemed, from work, or from his cell phone. Once he learned Mirandaās schedule he left her a message each evening at five-thirty, when she was on the T coming back to her apartment, just so, he said, she could hear his voice as soon as she walked through the door. āIām thinking about you,ā heād say on the tape. āI canāt wait to see you.ā He told her he liked spending time in her apartment, with its kitchen counter no wider than a breadbox, and scratchy floors that sloped, and a buzzer in the lobby that always made a slightly embarrassing sound when he pressed it. He said he admired her for moving to Boston, where she knew no one, instead of remaining in Michigan, where sheād grown up and gone to college. When Miranda told him it was nothing to admire, that sheād moved to Boston precisely for that reason, he shook his head. āI know what itās like to be lonely,ā he said, suddenly serious, and at that moment Miranda felt that he understood herāunderstood how she felt some nights on the T, after seeing a movie on her own, or going to a bookstore to read magazines, or having drinks with Laxmi, who always had to meet her husband at Alewife station in an hour or two. In less serious moments Dev said he liked that her legs were longer than her torso, something heād observed the first time she walked across a room naked. āYouāre the first,ā he told her, admiring her from the bed. āThe first woman Iāve known with legs this long.ā
Dev was the first to tell her that. Unlike the boys she dated in college, who were simply taller, heavier versions of the ones she dated in high school, Dev was the first always to pay for things, and hold doors open, and reach across a table in a restaurant to kiss her hand. He was the first to bring her a bouquet of flowers so immense sheād had to split it up into all six of her drinking glasses, and the first to whisper her name again and again when they made love. Within days of meeting him, when she was at work, Miranda began to wish that there were a picture of her and Dev tacked to the inside of her cubicle, like the one of Laxmi and her husband in front of the Taj Mahal. She didnāt tell Laxmi about Dev. She didnāt tell anyone. Part of her wanted to tell Laxmi, if only because Laxmi was Indian, too. But Laxmi was always on the phone with her cousin these days, who was still in bed, whose husband was still in London, and whose son still wasnāt going to school. āYou must eat something,ā Laxmi would urge. āYou mustnāt lose your health.ā When she wasnāt speaking to her cousin, she spoke to her husband, shorter conversations, in which she ended up arguing about whether to have chicken or lamb for dinner. āIām sorry,ā Miranda heard her apologize at one point. āThis whole thing just makes me a little paranoid.ā
Miranda and Dev didnāt argue. They went to movies at the Nickelodeon and kissed the whole time. They ate pulled pork and cornbread in Davis Square, a paper napkin tucked like a cravat into the collar of Devās shirt. They sipped sangria at the bar o...
