Colonel Gaddafi's Hat

Alex Crawford

• Publisher: Collins
• Year: 2012
• Print ISBN: 9780007467303
• eBook ISBN: 9780007467334
• Topic: History
• Subtopic: World History
• Index: History

Colonel Gadaffi’s Hat is both a gripping and deeply moving account of the Libyan uprising from the lone journalist who was able to report from the rebel army convoy that captured Green Square, in the heart of Tripoli.

Chapter One

LIBYA BOUND

Tuesday, 1 March

Four days earlier, I’m in bed in my home in Dubai, where I have been posted for Sky News as a Special Correspondent and where my family and I now live. A buzz sounds on my phone and wakes me. It’s late and I’m disturbed but that’s all. I had been hoping for this message, and when the text comes I feel a rush of adrenalin.

‘Can you go to Libya? John.’

John Ryley, the head of Sky News, never wastes words (or letters for that matter). But this is all I want to hear from him anyway. Great. We are off. Martin Smith, who is my cameraman, and I have already been on a whirlwind of Arab Spring stories, our feet barely touching the ground as we rush from one revolution to another – Tunisia, Egypt, Bahrain, and Egypt again. Now it’s Libya. And Libya could be the hardest, most brutal regime to be taken on so far. Colonel Gaddafi has been in power for forty-two years. He and his sons run the country like a personal fiefdom and he shows no sign of giving up despite the huge protest demonstrations calling for him to end his rule. Libya is also important to the rest of the world for another, particularly significant, reason. It is one of the world’s top ten energy-producing countries – accounting for nearly 2 per cent of total oil production. The unrest has led to a sharp increase in global oil prices. It is a hugely exciting time to be a journalist, exhilarating to be at the centre of these huge events with big implications for the world. We all want to be there.

Recently, Martin and I haven’t even had time to unpack before we’re off again – to another country where the regime would rather shoot or arrest us than let us report or film what’s going on.

This time, though, it’s different. We are going in legitimately. The Libyan government is issuing visas and ‘invitations’ so journalists can travel to the country and ‘see the truth for themselves’. But it is already becoming clear that the regime intends to manipulate the journalists as much as possible. They want to get their message out. And that message is that Colonel Muammar Gaddafi is still popular, still powerful and still very much in control. But, before tackling the Libyan regime, I have to manage my own domestic revolt.

Telling my four children I am off again and going away from them is definitely the very worst part of my job. My youngest child, Flo, who is 8, is looking up at me and her brown eyes are filling with tears. ‘But for how long, Mum? How long are you going away for? Will you be back in time for my parent–teacher conference?’ I say the same thing every time. ‘I’ll try, baby. I’ll try really hard. I’ll be back as soon as I can.’ She’s clinging to me, sobbing into my stomach. I am feeling rotten. ‘Please don’t go, Mum. Pleeeease? Why can’t you be like other mums? If you love me, you wouldn’t go. Will you be back by next week? Will you? Will you?’ I hate having to disappoint them but I know in my mind the revolution probably isn’t going to be all over by next Thursday. That’s not a revolution timetable. But I just can’t find the courage to break her heart by telling her this harsh truth. I hope I’m braver in Libya.

Florence is not yet in double figures but is more than adept at pulling the heartstrings and deploying a fearsome array of emotional blackmail tactics. ‘You know what would really help when you go away? (pause for effect) … A puppy.’

‘Hmmm, let me think about it,’ I say, playing for time.

Sometimes I don’t even have the chance to say goodbye. They might be at school, on a play-date, or it could be I leave in the middle of the night to catch a flight or make a connection. If I can, I try to leave little notes hidden around their rooms. They don’t say much. Maybe ‘I love you’ or ‘Remember when you are reading this, I am thinking of you and missing you loads.’ Sometimes – much to their irritation – the notes will have more functional messages, such as, ‘Have you brushed your teeth yet? I will know if you haven’t!’ and ‘Remember to do all your homework, even the reading for twenty minutes a night bit.’ I’m not sure it helps fill the yawning gap of an absent mother, but they tell me they enjoy trying to find the notes under their pillows, hidden in their school books, tucked away in their underwear drawers.

My eldest, Nat, who is 15, gives the outward appearance of being the most stoic about it all. He’ll just anxiously ask how long I’ll be away and where I am going. He’s not happy in Dubai, where we’re living now. He doesn’t much like the new school. He doesn’t much like the students. He misses India (where we were previously posted) and all his friends there. He’s still sore at us for taking him away from his old life and he’s constantly asking to go back. Oh dear Nat, no, my love, there’s no going back. My heart is hurting for him. I loved India too and I desperately want him to be happy. But the job is here now. In Dubai, in the Gulf. And the Middle East and North Africa are bubbling with discontent. And not just Nat’s either.

The dynamics of the family change when one of us is absent. I notice, when one of them has a sleepover elsewhere, the noise levels dip, there are different family allegiances, different sparring matches. When Mum disappears for weeks it must alter considerably. Frankie is the second eldest (just 13) but far more mature than all of us put together. She used to be terribly upset when I disappeared for work before, now she becomes very angry. And she doesn’t seem to get used to it either. She just gets angrier.

‘Mum, you really have to sort out your priorities,’ she tells me. ‘Why do you have to go? Can’t someone else do it? Why you? Just tell your news desk you have children, Mum. Don’t they realize that? You know what, Mum, when I grow up I am going to do a job where I actually see my children.’ Wow, the volleys are coming in thick and fast. Frankie gives me the hardest time out of all the children but also bombards me with affectionate text messages while I am away. But she has one final warning: ‘And you better not miss my birthday, Mum.’ It’s coming up in less than three weeks. Yet another deadline to meet. Oh, my gosh, I’d forgotten all about that. That’s going to be tight.

Maddy, at 11 years old, is the least outwardly perturbed of the three girls and probably the most interested in news events and what’s going on in the world. She records her own little news diaries on her mobile phone and always signs them off: ‘This is Maddy Edmondson for Sky News.’ She has an audience of one – Maddy Edmondson – and occasionally Maddy Edmondson’s mother. She has her own Twitter account too – long before her mother was encouraged by her office to get one. I think she had three followers – her two sisters and her mum. She’s more a Facebook girl. But Facebook doesn’t replace a mum who is away working. She doesn’t like me going away either. They all – Nat apart – cry when I leave, and as soon as the door shuts they start counting down the days until I am back.

And then there’s Richard – a hugely successful and decorated racing and sports journalist who is now largely responsible for keeping the Crawford–Edmondson household afloat. Sometimes even close friends ponder: ‘And what’s old Rick doing these days?’ What? You mean apart from looking after the four children, doing the homework, the cooking, the ironing and the school drop-offs? Well, yes, in between he’s also trying to do some freelance writing and keep a foothold in the business he loves while his wife is off racing round the world. Yeah, not up to much really.

Richard gave up his job on the Independent newspaper after more than twenty years so I could become a foreign correspondent, which involved us all moving to India so I could take up the post of Asia correspondent at the end of 2005. It was a lot harder than either of us imagined. For a start, I’m sure you know, the world is still very sexist, one which remains largely divided on gender lines. And it’s emphasized particularly when you are an expat living abroad. Richard will quite often be the only man doing the daily drop-offs at the international school gates, the only man at the parent ‘get-to-know-you’ lunches, the only man solely organizing his children’s birthday parties, the only man at the school coffee mornings. It is hard for him and I have no doubt it is also very lonely.

There’s also a crushing loss of status which many women will be all too familiar with after having children and stepping off the career ladder. I wouldn’t say Richard is used to it by now. Does anyone ever get used to it? My former Foreign Editor, Adrian Wells, used to say he should be canonized. ‘How does he put up with you? How does he put up with it? How on earth does he do it?’ are the common questions. And if Richard is viewed as a saint by some, I often feel the opposite about my own status.

Most of the time I feel I am failing – failing as a mother, failing as a wife, failing as a foreign correspondent – because I can’t give any of my roles the time I want to. A foreign correspondent’s job requires 150 per cent commitment. I have waited so long to be a foreign correspondent based abroad and came to it that much later in life. I feel I have a lot of catching up to do. It’s a 24/7 job and to do it well you have to put in so much time and effort. The necessary skills of being a mother of four often seem to involve having the organizational and diplomatic qualities of a CEO cum banker cum chef cum sergeant major. I constantly feel torn between all of my roles and feel like I am not succeeding at any of them.

Now I’m the main breadwinner and, for all the pain caused by constantly leaving the family, the work has to be worth it. I can’t afford to do a bad job. It has to be good. Well, more than good. Otherwise why put everyone through all of this? I love the job, the places it takes me to, the people I get to meet, the stories just waiting to be uncovered. To be honest, I love the thrill and the adventure – so much so, it often feels terribly selfish. I don’t enjoy being shot at. It’s not the danger I love. Often I am terrified. Rather it’s the opportunity of going to corners of the world I wouldn’t get to if it wasn’t for my job. It’s the chance to make a difference somewhere to someone. Along with many foreign correspondents I realize how damn lucky I am to be doing this job and frankly I don’t want to screw it up. I want them – my family – to be proud of me. I want them to feel like it’s worth it. For all our sakes, I must try to do my best in Libya.

This particular departure coincides with a visit by the in-laws – or it is about to. This will ease the pain for all considerably, particularly Richard. His parents, June and Bill, have arrived in the region for a holiday. They are going on a mini cruise which was booked months ago and – unbeknown to them at the time of booking – seems to take in all the Middle East revolution hotspots – Bahrain, Oman, the Gulf of Aden. Half the itinerary has been adjusted, with many of the hotspots crossed off owing to ‘uprisings’. So now it’s just the pirates they have to watch out for. After the cruise, they will stay at our home in Dubai for the rest of their break. Good. The children will be distracted by loving grandparents. Richard will be distracted by being run off his feet as the host.

Right now, though, I have got to pack. The goodbyes are always horrendous and, to be honest, I want them over as soon as possible. They’re just too hurtful for everyone.

Wednesday, 2 March

Martin and I fly from Dubai to Tunis and meet Tim Miller, Sky’s Deputy Foreign Editor. He is a hugely popular figure in the newsroom – easy-going, sensible, always pleasant to deal with. ‘Bonjour, mes amis,’ he says with a broad smile. ‘Allez, Libya!’ We’re pleased to see him. We’re all pleased to be on the trail of the story. For now, all we can see is the future.

The plan is that the three of us will enter the country legitimately but try to shake off Gaddafi’s ‘minders’ as soon as possible. Their remit is to ensure the ‘right’ Gaddafi version of events is broadcast. Our remit is to try to report on what is really going on inside Libya.

At least that’s the plan. The three of us relocate to a small café in the airport where we have the first of many croque-monsieurs waiting for the Tunis Air check-in desk to open. But when it does, the answer is a firm ‘Non!’

We are still waiting for the official letters from Tripoli cordially inviting our attendance and, as far as the airline is concerned, they do not exist. We beg, we plead, we rant with the elderly Tunis Air official, who is Libyan. We get letters faxed and emailed from Sky and show him our journalist press passes. Non, non and non again.

He asks if I can talk Arabic. I say: ‘Kafah halak’ (‘How are you?’) Somehow he recognizes I’m not a professor of the language. ‘How can you go into Libya if you don’t speak Arabic?’ He’s smiling a smile which indicates he’s not smiling much inside. I’m thinking, can you please just let us on the plane? What difference does it make to you? But he won’t be persuaded. In fact I think he’s enjoying our discomfort and our pleading. ‘I am so sorry, ma’am.’ He doesn’t look sorry at all to me. I think he’s a Gaddafi loyalist. He doesn’t want to make this easy for us. We don’t give up until the plane actually takes off.

Then it is time for Plan B. Tim has heard Air Afrique is letting people on without visas. That’s the good news. The bad news is the planes are leaving from Paris. We get the next plane to France. We book a hotel near to the airport, and by now we’re all becoming very twitchy about our complete lack of success in getting into Libya. We’re actually moving further away.

Still, optimism never dies. We have to hold on to that. I ask the foreign desk in London whether our colleagues in Tripoli need us to bring anything out for them. Lisa Holland has been reporting from the capital ‘under the restrictions of the Libyan government’, helped by producer Lorna Ward. We’re given a huge long list of items to bring out which includes coffee, tea bags, energy bars, sun cream, snacks and odour-eaters (no one owns up to asking for these). Tim gets up really early to rush round a supermarket close to the airport to fill a rucksack full of these various ‘essentials’. He rings up at one point as Martin and I are checking out of the airport hotel to ask for the French word for ‘odour-eaters’. Oddly, neither of us knows. Then we all set off for the airport.

We get as far as the check-in desk and, again, an airline official stops us. No visa? Hmmm. But she is a Libyan who has lived and worked in Paris for years now and is much more sympathetic. She has the personal number of one of the Gaddafi officials in Tripoli and rings him up in front of us. Somehow our names are on a list and she agrees to let us on. Hurdle one crossed.

It’s a short flight to Tripoli – only a few hours – and we are bursting with anticipation and suppressed excitement. What will it be like? How will we be treated? Will we get through the airport security OK?

When we land we are immediately segregated from the other passengers, the ones who all look like Libyans and have Libyan passports. We’re taken to a small room where there is already a European crew. They say they have been waiting for hours. We sit down. Within a very short time, the other crew is led away. They have their permissions to enter the country.

The BBC’s Wyre Davies is on our flight and he joins us in the room. There is a large picture of Colonel Gaddafi in the corner and I get Tim to take a picture of me with it. It’s the closest I ever get to the leader. So we sit and wait and wait and wait. All of us are tired already and we use the time to sleep. There’s plenty of time.

Wyre is told he has his visa within half an hour, but we are there for another three and a half hours. Finally we are allowed through immigration. As we walk out we see Wyre. He’s still here. He hasn’t been able to get any transport and he joins us. The airport is very busy. There are people milling around everywhere trying to get flights out. Many governments are evacuating their nationals out of Libya and those people who haven’t got help from their government are still trying to leave. Even though it’s dark and already night-time, it’s still pleasant temperature-wise – around the early thirties – typical Mediterranean weather, very balmy. We’re on the coast of North Africa but somehow it feels undeniably Arabic here, with a number of women wearing the hijab (Muslim headscarf). We walk out of the airport, following a Libyan official who says he will take us to the media hotel. We’re led onto a government bus and notice – even through the darkness – there are lots of people waiting outside the airport’s front entrance. We’re told not to film and none of us wants to do anything to irritate the official who has just let us into the country. So we don’t.

It feels tense. Everyone seems tense – the workers, the would-be flyers, the newly arrived, the armed guards who are standing both inside and outside the airport. Everyone seems edgy. Several towns in eastern Libya have already erupted in fighting – Tobruk and Benghazi are the two most notable. It began on 17 February, just over two weeks ago, when a general call for uprising was answered in several towns. It is the date the Libyans are calling the start of their revolution. They’ve seen their neighbours in Egypt (to the east) and Tunisia (to the west) rise up and defeat their dictators. Now it’s their turn. The fighting has already spread to Tripoli, with heavy gunfire heard in the capital and reports that the airport itself was taken by the rebels in the last week of February. Several planeloads of African mercenaries from neighbouring Sudan, Chad, Algeria and Niger have been seen being flown into Tripoli to help the Colonel fight his own people. Already there have been some defections from the Colonel’s own military: he needs to find other soldiers to help him stay in power.

The People’s Hall in Tripoli (banned to the actual people), which was the meeting place of the Libyan General People’s Congress, has been set on fire about a week before our arrival. Several police stations have been set alight, as well as the Justice Ministry in the capital.

We’ve seen pictures uploaded onto YouTube of Libyans burning the Green Book in Tobruk. This is Gaddafi’s book of ‘rules’ and ideas – his political and economic philosophy for Libya. It is compulsory reading for every Libyan, a sort of Libyan answer to Chairman Mao’s Little Red Book. It is both hated and scorned. In it, the Brother Leader, as the Colonel has renamed himself, teaches that the wage system should be abolished, that people should earn just what they need to and no more, that they should not own more than one house, that private enterprise is ‘exploitation’ and should be abolished. For the past twenty years, Libyans have told me, Gaddafi’s state machinery has even attempted to restrict access to private bank accounts so the regime can draw on those funds for government projects. He has set up People’s Supermarkets where prices are controlled. He says often that he wants to ban money and schools. As ...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Dedication
• Contents
• Prologue
• Chapter One: Libya Bound
• Chapter Two: Dawn Attack
• Chapter Three: Under Siege
• Chapter Four: Escape From Zawiya
• Chapter Five: ‘Why Do I Keep Crying?’
• Chapter Six: Return to Libya
• Chapter Seven: Battle for Misrata
• Chapter Eight: Citizen Army
• Chapter Nine: Zawiya Hits Back
• Chapter Ten: Riding the Rebel Convoy
• Chapter Eleven: Green Square
• Chapter Twelve: The Only Working Hospital in Tripoli
• Chapter Thirteen: Inside Gaddafi’s Lair
• Chapter Fourteen: Running on Empty
• Chapter Fifteen: Revenge
• Chapter Sixteen: Farewell to ‘New’ Libya
• Acknowledgements
• Picture Section
• About the Author
• Credits
• Copyright
• About the Publisher