- English
- ePUB (mobile friendly)
- Available on iOS & Android
HOW NOT TO BE A PROFESSION EB
About this book
An anecdote-driven narrative of the classic footballer's 'DOs and DO NOTs' from the ever-popular Arsenal legend and football pundit Paul Merson, aka 'The Merse'.
When it comes to advice on the pitfalls of life as a professional footballer, Paul Merson can pretty much write the manual. In fact, that's exactly what he's done in this hilarious new book which manages to be simultaneously poignant and gloriously funny.
Merson was a prodigiously talented footballer in the 80s and 90s, gracing the upper echelons of the game – and the tabloid front pages – with his breathtakingly skills and larger-than-life off-field persona.
His much-publicised battles with gambling, drug and alcohol addiction are behind him now, and football fans continue to be drawn to his sharp footballing brain and playful antics on SkySports cult results show Soccer Saturday.
The book delights and entertains with a treasure chest of terrific anecdotes from a man who has never lost his love of football and his inimitable joie de vivre through a 25-year association with the Beautiful Game.
The DO NOTs include:
DO NOT adopt 'Champagne' Charlie Nicholas as your mentor
DO NOT share a house with Gazza
DO NOT regularly place £30,000 bets at the bookie's
DO NOT get so drunk that you can't remember the 90 minutes of football you just played in
DO NOT manage Walsall (at any cost)
How Not to be a Professional Footballer is a hugely entertaining, moving and laugh-out-loud funny story.
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Information
Table of contents
- Cover
- Title Page
- Contents
- A Note from the Author
- Introduction - Last Knockings
- Lesson 1 - Do Not Go to Stringfellows with Charlie Nicholas
- Lesson 2 - Do Not Drink 15 Pints and Crash Your Car into a Lamppost
- Lesson 3 - Do Not Cross Gorgeous George
- Lesson 4 - Do Not Shit on David Seaman’s Balcony
- Lesson 5 - Do Not Bet on Scotland on Your Wedding Day
- Lesson 6 - Do Not Wax the Dolphin before an England Game
- Lesson 7 - Do Not Go to a Detroit Gay Bar with Paul Ince and John Barnes
- Lesson 8 - Do Not Wander Round Nightclubs Trying to Score Coke
- Lesson 9 - Do Not Get So Paranoid That You Can’t Leave the House
- Lesson 10 - Do Not Ask for a Potato Peeler in Rehab
- Lesson 11 - Do Not Miss a Penalty in the UEFA Cup
- Lesson 12 - Do Not Leave Arsenal with Your William Hill Head On
- Lesson 13 - Do Not Let Gazza Move into Your House
- Lesson 14 - Do Not Ask Eileen Drewery for a Short Back and Sides
- Lesson 15 - Do Not Give Gazza the Keys to the Team Bus
- Lesson 16 - Do Not Tell Harry Redknapp You’re Going into Rehab only to Bunk off to Barbados for a Jolly
- Lesson 17 - Do Not Smile at a Sex Addict Called Candy
- Lesson 18 - Do Not Try to Outwit Jeff Stelling
- Lesson 19 - Do Not Admit Defeat (the Day-to-Day Battle)
- Appendix - Mersonisms — A Soccer Saturday Glossary
- About the Author
- Copyright
- About the Publisher