The Gender Trap

Parents and the Pitfalls of Raising Boys and Girls

Emily W. Kane

• Publisher: NYU Press
• Year: 2012
• Print ISBN: 9780814737835
• eBook ISBN: 9780814771440
• Topic: Social Sciences
• Subtopic: Gender Studies
• Index: Social Sciences

A detailed account of how gender is learned and unlearned in the home From the selection of toys, clothes, and activities to styles of play and emotional expression, the family is ground zero for where children learn about gender. Despite recent awareness that girls are not too fragile to play sports and that boys can benefit from learning to cook, we still find ourselves surrounded by limited gender expectations and persistent gender inequalities. Through the lively and engaging stories of parents from a wide range of backgrounds, The Gender Trap provides a detailed account of how today's parents understand, enforce, and resist the gendering of their children. Emily Kane shows how most parents make efforts to loosen gendered constraints for their children, while also engaging in a variety of behaviors that reproduce traditionally gendered childhoods, ultimately arguing that conventional gender expectations are deeply entrenched and that there is great tension in attempting to undo them while letting 'boys be boys' and 'girls be girls.'

INDEX

Accountability: carework and women’s, 79

for Cultivators, 88, 104–5, 107

for gay and lesbian parents, 195–96, 207

in gendered anticipation, 30–31

for Innovators, 104, 146, 149, 158, 170

interactional, 43, 57, 214

mothers’ to fathers, 67, 116–17, 137

for Naturalizers, 57, 77

parent motivation as, 45, 214–15

parent response to society’s judgments, 9–11

for Refiners, 137

for Resisters, 175, 184, 188, 191–92, 195

social construction and, 18. See also Social costs

Actions. See Motivations, parental; Parenting practices, gender-crafting; Parenting practices, gender undoing

Adams, Michele, 74

Adolescence, gendered expectations for daughters greater in, 205

Adrienne, Resister mother, 185–88

Agency: children’s, 21, 45, 119–20, 184, 211

parents’, 12, 45, 77, 218

Aggression, in sons, 68–69, 85, 205–8

Messner on adult views of, 90

Anthony, Innovator father, 141–47, 166

primary caregiver experience, 144–45

Anthropological aspects, 122–23

Antill, John, 32–33, 35

Appearance focus, for daughters, 46, 205, 242n37, 253n3

competition over beauty, 151–52

consumption oriented towards, 106–7

daughter’s temper tantrum vignette, 70–71

gender-typical clothing, 179

interactional level, 177–78

media influence, 176–77

objectification and, 71, 243n5, 247n17

racial othering and, 251n2

Baby dolls, 12, 48, 78, 114, 116, 186

Ballet, 95, 119, 127–28

Barbie dolls, 36, 48, 86, 89, 115, 117, 127, 135, 144, 154

compromise, 49, 67, 98

Ken and, 69–70

masculine, 98

for sons, 98, 125, 159, 173, 181, 186, 192

Barbie suitcase, 94, 95

Basketball Barbie, 98

Bates College Institutional Review Board, 231

Batman, 158

Beauty, 37, 179

emphasis for daughters, 151–52, 177–78

messages from others on, 70–71, 177–78

racial othering through, 251n2

The Beauty Myth (Wolf), 178, 251n3

Behavior, children’s: Cultivator view of, 110

Naturalizer view of, 54, 55

Refiner view of tomboy compared...

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Contents
• Acknowledgments
• Introduction “Glamour Babies” and “Little Toughies”
• One Wanting a Girl, Wanting a Boy: Conceptual Building Blocks
• Two “It’s in Their Nature”: Naturalizers
• Three “I Think a Lot of It Is Us, Parents and Society”: Cultivators
• Four “We Try Not to Encourage It, but I Know It Gets in There”: Refiners
• Five “You Applaud All the Other Stuff”: Innovators
• Six “Surviving in a Gendered Culture”: Resisters
• Conclusion “A Better World”: Dismantling the Gender Trap
• Appendix: Research Methods
• Notes
• References
• Index
• About the Author