Section One
PRISON
A prison sentence is the beginning of a journey for every writer who finds him- or herself behind bars for exercising the right to write. Wherever the country, whatever the jail, the intention is the same: to silence the uncensored voice. The prisonerās journey may pass from despair to hope. Torture brings almost unimaginable suffering; illness, starvation, mental breakdown and acceptance are steps on the journey. The prisoner aches for that other sky, freedom. He may step out into the light, or the darkness of the grave. He may have to negotiate the pain of exile, the brutality of racism.
Reza Baraheni
Born in Tabriz, Iran, in 1935, Reza Baraheni is a poet and the author of several novels and short stories. He worked as professor of English at Tehran University and has also taught at universities in the USA and England. He was imprisoned during the time of the Shah in the 1970s and by the Islamic Republic of Iran in the early 1980s. He has served as PEN Canadaās president and currently lives in Toronto.
The following recounts one memorable night Baraheni spent in Iranās notorious Evin Prison.
A minor mistake in Evin Prison
I was imprisoned for most of the autumn of 1981 and the first month of 1982. At first I was kept in the corridor of the Joint Committee, an old torture station from the Shahās regime that had been reactivated by the Islamic Republic of Iran. There were many women in the cells of the ward where I was being kept. So, the men remained in the corridor, with blindfolds covering their eyes, sleeping there, eating prison rations, and waiting. I stayed in these conditions for twenty-two days. Then I was moved to solitary confinement on the upper floor, where the blindfold was removed for the first time. After a month, I was blindfolded and taken by car to Evin prison. Here is the story of one particular night there.
As usual, I sat in the interrogation room, facing the wall. It was late in the afternoon. My share of interrogation for the day had ended. I was waiting for them to blindfold me, take me out into the corridor, raise my arm onto the shoulder of someone ahead of me, and place someone elseās hand on my shoulder. Then they would lead our column downstairs into the big lobby of the courthouse, and out into a waiting minibus, to be driven up the hill to our cells.
It was already dark when they came. They were working very fast. The blindfold was on my eyes in a minute. I could feel someone else as well as the guard. The two of us were taken into the corridor and our hands placed on other prisonersā shoulders. I didnāt know how many of us were there. From downstairs, I could hear the bullying voices of the guards, scattered but loud.
Through the small cleft where the blindfold pressed against my nose and cheek, I could see wheelchairs passing by with swollen, bloody feet hanging from them. I could hear whispering, sighs and painful breathing. We were ordered to move, but the bustle and jostle around us was too heavy to allow us to go down the stairs. I kept gripping hard on the shoulder of the man ahead of me and felt the firm grip of the man behind me, and going down was utterly laborious. This night seemed different from other nights. Finally we were downstairs. It felt as if there were a million people whirling around my blindfolded eyes. The hand on my shoulder shook hysterically, and my own hand on the shoulder of the man ahead of me was no longer under my control. We stood there, as if there were only the three of us, jam-packed with all these other people jeering at us. Now, every whisper, every scream, every smell and movement had a thousand meanings.
Suddenly I noticed the shaking hand on my shoulder was no longer there. There were only the two of us, connected to each other by my arm, disconnected from the rest of the world behind the thick wall of the blindfold. I could no longer hold my arm straight and grip the shoulder of the unknown man ahead of me. It dropped by volition of its natural inertia. I stood alone and blind in a hostile world.
Had the audience forgotten the man on the stage? Was this the last scene? Where was my stick? Was the blinded Oedipus leaving the stage in utter ignominy? I donāt know how long I stood there, but suddenly I heard the voice of authority: āPut your hand on the shoulder of the person ahead of you and walk!ā What a relief! What a moment of bliss! I would be in my cell in less than twenty minutes. At the end of the dayās grilling, I felt I had convinced my interrogator that I hadnāt done anything that would be considered treason. And now, in a few minutes, I could sum up in my mind the pros and cons of the situation and prepare myself for the next round of the interrogation. I raised my hand briskly and put it on the shoulder of the man ahead of me, and almost simultaneously felt the hand of the man behind me on my shoulder, and we set out, emerging into the open air.
The cold weather did not hurt at all. There must be stars up in the freezing sky, I thought. If only the blindfold were removed! We were ordered to walk, and walk we did, slowly and precariously, hunched up subhuman beings, each with the hope in mind of one day straightening his back and looking up at the sky with free, open eyes. But this was not normal! Where were the minibuses? We were walking on rough ground. There was silence, it was dark, and I sensed the dim streaks of something like flashlights, or meteorites, in the sky.
āWhere are they taking us?ā
I feel a strange pressure on my shoulder from the hand of the man behind me. But I cannot stop talking: āWhere! Where are they taking us?ā
Others donāt speak. I hear the barking of a dog in the distance and the coughing of someone nearby. And then the man from behind me says, āDonāt you know?ā
āIāve always been taken to my cell after interrogation. We never walked. They took us in the minibus.ā
āWe were in court. Weāre being taken to be shot.ā
āWhat!ā
āYou mean you werenāt in the court with us?ā
āNo! I wasnāt in any court.ā
āI must have put my hand on the shoulder of the wrong man in the confusion. You must have done the same. There were too many people there.ā
I donāt know what to do. My whole mind is a vegetable. I try to call out to the guards. I have no voice. Cold sweat is running down all over me.
āHave they marked the soles of your feet?ā
āWhat!ā
āHave they marked the soles of your feet?
āNo!ā
āTheyāve marked the soles of our feet with a marker that weāre to be shot.ā
āIāve no such things on the soles of my feet.ā
āWhat are you waiting for! Just shout and tell them.ā
This time I shouted at the top of my voice: āGuard! Brother Passdar! Thereās been a mistake! I wasnāt in court! Come and look at the soles of my feet!ā
āShut up, you bastard infidel!ā It is the voice of the Passdar all right.
The man from behind says, āKeep screaming. Tell them to come and look at the soles of your feet.ā
I scream. I donāt know what I am saying, but I know I am fighting for my life. My hand is still on the shoulder of the man walking ahead of me.
āTake off your shoes and scream. Tell them about the soles.ā The man from behind me is the only one who speaks. He doesnāt think of himself at all. What kind of a human being is he?
āCome and look at the soles of my feet!ā I scream, trying to take off my shoe, but it is impossible with my hand on someoneās shoulder and someone elseās hand on my shoulder. Anyway, how can I show the soles of my feet to anyone in the dark? āItās impossible! Itās impossible!ā I whisper.
āDo what you can to stay alive. Weāve lost our lives, perhaps for a reason. But why should you lose yours?ā
I scream, thinking that it would be an honour to die beside this man.
āYou godless bastard! You think you can save your skin by screaming. Iāll show you when I shoot you myself in ten minutes!ā
āBut come and look at the soles of my feet. See for yourself. I wasnāt in court. I was being interrogated by Hadji-Agha Hosseini the whole day. The interrogation isnāt finished yet! Why donāt you believe me?ā
āDonāt tire! Scream!ā the man whispers.
And I scream, no matter what. And the guard swears. And we reach the final destination.
We are all panting. There are many flashlights. There are many people, talking in whispers. Some of them must be the firing squad. Others are there too, perhaps as spectators, to see what would happen to them if they didnāt recant and betray their friends. They have to see the face of death to make up their mind.
āBrother Passdar, please, come and take a look at the soles of my feet. You will see that I was not condemned to death.ā
āShut up!ā A voice louder than anything before reverberates in the silence.
Someone says, āI want you to remove the blindfold before shooting me. I want to see the night of Tehran once more before I die.ā
āShut up! Thatās all.ā
There are two men crying in the distance. One of them keeps saying, āGod, is this the end of my life?ā
Someone comes towards us and we are told to walk, and then we are separated. As soon as I am alone, I take off my shoes and stand barefoot, waiting. Someone asks: āEight or nine?ā
Someone answers: āNine.ā
āTake off my blindfold!ā It is the voice of the man who wants to see the night of Tehran.
Someone says, āRemove his blindfold.ā I donāt speak any more. Barefoot, I wait.
Then I sense the hurried streaking of the flashlights. Perhaps it is not the fear of death that is so horrible. It is the waiting itself, for death. The flashlight moves closer, spreading its light on the ground. The man is taking off his shoes. Then someone tells him to put on his shoes. I hear him replace his shoes.
Then it is my turn. I tell the Passdar bending before me to examine the soles of my feet to see for himself that there has been a mistake. But he doesnāt let me go on. He calls out, āHassan, come and take this man to the courthouse and have them mark the soles of his feet.ā
I put my shoes back on. Someone grabs my hand and pulls me away. He keeps me blindfolded, and starts to run, making me run blindly downhill. He doesnāt ask questions, but I keep telling him that I am innocent, and I keep thinking that running like this might even result in an earlier death, before the one by firing squad.
Scribbling something on the sole of my foot equals death. How dangerous writing can be! The man pulling me over the craggy path doesnāt say anything. How long it takes to get there. I no longer say anything.
When we finally stop and enter the courthouse, my head goes dizzy and I am about to throw up. What is this? They are having soup. I remember having had soup once when we were delayed in the interrogation room. I also remember the jokes about the soup, said to have been made by the head chef of the Hilton Hotel, who had been arrested.
I begin to shout at the top of my voice that I hadnāt been to court and was innocent. Hassan calls out to someone else, asking him to come and mark my foot. The man comes over and the first thing he asks me for is my name. I hear him going through something like a file. āHold him right here,ā he says and departs. A minute later, there is chaos in the lobby of the courthouse. They have ordered everyone to take off their shoes. Then I hear a clapping of hands. No, it is a slap on someoneās face. It feels as if someone is being beaten up. Ther...