Make Your Contacts Count

Anne Baber, Lynne Waymon

• Publisher: AMACOM
• Year: 2007
• ISBN:
  9780814429761
• Edition: 2
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Careers

This book is a practical, step-by-step guide for creating, cultivating, and capitalizing on networking relationships and opportunities.

Updated from its first edition, Make Your Contacts Count now includes expanded advice on building social capital at work and in job hunting, as well as new case studies, examples, checklists, and questionnaires.

You will discover how to:

• draft a networking plan
• cultivate current contacts
• make the most of memberships
• effectively exchange business cards
• avoid the top ten networking turn-offs
• share anecdotes that convey character and competence
• transform your career with a networking makeover

Job-seekers, career-changers, entrepreneurs, and others will find all the networking help they need to supercharge their careers and boost their bottom lines. Packed with valuable tools, Make Your Contacts Count offers a field-tested "Hello to Goodbye" system that takes you from entering a room, to making conversations flow, to following up.

PART I

Survey Your Skills and Mindset

Start where you are. Check out your mastery of real-world skills. Then, explore your beliefs about networking.

Want to find out how you stack up as a networker? Wonder if you understand the subtleties, know the strategies, and are using state-of-the-art skills? To spotlight your strengths and weaknesses, complete the Self-Assessment in Chapter 1. As you look at your results, you'll be ready to set your priorities and decide which chapters to read first. Then, you'll be able to use your time—and this book—in the best way.

Because you see the marketplace value of networking, you'll want to get rid of any ideas that could hold you back. Misconceptions about networking abound. You can clear your mind of them and adopt attitudes that will get you ready to make great connections.

CHAPTER 1

Assess Your Skills

Taking the Self-Assessment in this chapter will give you an overview of your specific networking behaviors, attitudes, and strategies.

This exercise will help you.

• Test your current level of mastery of state-of-the-art networking behaviors and beliefs.
• Increase your awareness of the vast repertoire of skills and strategies available to you as you build business relationships.
• Remind yourself of some techniques that you know but don't use as much as you could.
• Pinpoint topics you want to focus on to increase your impact, professionalism, and comfort.
• Verify your increased competency when you take the quiz again, after you've made The Contacts Count Networking System a way of life.

Instructions

As you go through the Self-Assessment, we want you to know how we define some of the terms we've used. Then, you'll need to know how to select your answers. Finally, after you are finished with the Self-Assessment, you'll need to know how to assess your mastery and decide what to do next.

Defining Some Terms

Networking Event: All those business, quasi-business, and social situations in which you have opportunities to develop valuable connections.

Organization: Any group you join for the purpose of making business connections (professional association, Chamber of Commerce, alumni group, business referral group, board, etc.).

Company: Who you work for (your firm, your agency, your sole proprietorship, etc.).

Selecting Your Answers

Below, you'll find eight sections: Observing the “Netiquette,” Assessing Your Comfort Level, Being Strategic, Meeting People, Using Networking Organizations, Making the Most of Events, Achieving Bottom-Line Results, and Following Through. Each section concentrates on a specific area of the networking experience. The statements in each section focus on what you believe about networking and what you do and say when you are networking. For each statement, check one of the following as your response:

Rarely	for 0 to 20 percent of the time
Sometimes	for 20 to 50 percent of the time
Frequently	for 50 to 80 percent of the time
Almost Always	for 80 to 100 percent of the time

With each section, you'll find a commentary that will help you in your self-assessment.

Observing the “Netiquette”

Look back at your answers as you consider these comments.

If you've ever had an awkward moment as you engaged in a networking activity, you know how daunting it is to feel as if you don't know what to do. As you learn the skills and techniques—and the rationales behind them—you'll find that you'll rarely find yourself in a situation you can't handle with aplomb and confidence.

Handing out lots of business cards isn't networking. See Chapter 6 for the rest of the story.

Observing the “Netiquette”

I talk to discover reasons to hand out my business card.

Rarely _____ Sometimes _____ Frequently _____ Almost Always _____

As I talk with someone, I'm trying to figure out a reason to give him my business card and get his.

Rarely _____ Sometimes _____ Frequently _____ Almost Always _____

I sense when I can begin talking about what I can offer or what my company provides.

Rarely _____ Sometimes _____ Frequently _____ Almost Always _____

I'm comfortable joining a group of people who are already talking.

Rarely _____ Sometimes _____ Frequently _____ Almost Always _____

I consciously work at talking only about 50 percent of the time.

Rarely _____ Sometimes _____ Frequently _____ Almost Always _____

I find interesting ways to say thank you when someone gives me a resource or referral.

Rarely _____ Sometimes _____ Frequently _____ Almost Always _____

If a contact doesn't reciprocate, I skillfully and tactfully point out how she can help me.

Rarely _____ Sometimes _____ Frequently _____ Almost Always _____

Do you worry about seeming too pushy? Too passive? If you're too pushy, you'll turn people off. If you're too passive, you won't get much out of networking.

When you're approaching a group, are you mentally back at the eighth grade dance, wondering if people will snub you? If you know the steps for joining (not breaking into) a group, you'll be able to do it with ease. The process appears in Chapter 6.

Do you, out of nervousness, find yourself chattering away, dominating the conversation? Or do you have a hard time holding up your end of the conversation with Success Stories and important topics to talk about? Give and take is basic to networking. Besides, you have to listen to learn what your contact needs. Chapter 7 will help you avoid all the top 20 networking turn-offs.

Do you say, “Thanks!” in ways that make you memorable, yet are appropriate? Corporate cultures, for example, differ. Appropriate ways to say thank you in IBM are bound to be different from what's done at an ad agency.

Great connectors observe and learn the “netiquette” in particular organizations from the members of those organizations. You can always ask the advice of a mentor at work, when deciding how to say, “Thanks!” Or, you can watch the pros in your association to figure out how quickly it's appropriate to “talk business” with potential clients at the meetings.

Do you sometimes feel that you are the only one in the relationship who is giving? Do you know what to do about that?

Assessing Your Comfort Level

Look back at your answers as you consider these comments.

Networking has emerged as a respected business and career skill. Why, then, does it sometimes feel uncomfortable?

Assessing Your Comfort Level

I feel professional and comfortable when I'm networking.

Rarely _____ Sometimes _____ Frequently _____ Almost Always _____

I'm energized and excited as I enter a room full of people.

Rarely _____ Sometimes _____ Frequently _____ Almost Always _____

Networking is something I want to do, not just something I have to do.

Rarely _____ Sometimes _____ Frequently _____ Almost Always _____

I can talk easily about my successes.

Rarely _____ Sometimes _____ Frequently _____ Almost Always _____

When I talk with people, I find out something of interest to me.

Rarely _____ Sometimes _____ Frequently _____ Almost Always _____

At networking events, I can think of plenty of meaningful topics to talk about.

Rarely _____ Sometimes _____ Frequently _____ Almost Always _____

Few families today sit down to a long Sunday dinner where Uncle Charlie tells stories and Grandma chimes in with reminiscences. Good conversational skills are learned. Few people are born with the gift of gab. But anybody can learn how to use conversation to build networking relationships.

Often, the “ground rules” for networking are unclear. Because it's a “hidden” career and business skill that you're just expected to know, many people are unsure about what's considered professional.

In some circles, networking is mistakenly equated with hot-dogging, tooting your own horn, or grandstanding. Some people say, “I shouldn't have to network. My good work should stand on its own without my having to promote myself.” But who will know what you do well and what you need if you don't develop ease in talking about those things? For tips on constructing and telling Success Stories, see Chapter 11.

What happens in the conversation is that after you exchange names and after you ask “What do you do?” there is a pause. It's the pause that comes right before the conversation about the weather. Here's the rule: Never—and we mean never—talk about the weather or the ball scores. Instead, see Chapter 10 to learn how to carry around with you a pocketful of topics you really want to talk about, topics that will convince others of your expertise, build your credibility, teach others to trust you, lead you to resources, and assure that opportunities drop into your lap.

Being Strategic

Look back at your answers as you consider these comments.

Are you surprised that “being strategic” didn't turn out to be one of your strong points? In this sped-up world, it's all too easy to run from activity to event—whatever's available this week will do—and then wonder why networking doesn't work!

So slow down! Make a long-range plan about which Arenas or settings you want to become known in and for what reason. Which organizations should you join? Test drive them before you plunk down the membership dues. There's a quiz that will help you make smart choices in Chapter 17. Want to do Olympic-level networking? Design a Project for yourself that will make you the natural and only choice when opportunity comes knocking.

Being Strategic

I have a long-range, strategic plan for my networking efforts in each organization I belong to.

Rarely _____ Sometimes _____ Frequently _____ Almost Always _____

I join organizations because of my strategic business/career development plan.

Rarely _____ Sometimes _____ Frequently _____ Almost Always _____

Before I go to an event, I think of specific resources/tips/trends I have to offer to the people I'm likely to see there.

Rarely _____ Sometimes _____ Frequently _____ Almost Always _____

I initiate at least one networking meeting (breakfast/lunch, etc.) a week.

Rarely _____ Sometimes _____ Frequently _____ Almost Always _____

I let people know the types of problems I can solve, so they refer exactly the right kinds of opportunities to me.

Rarely _____ Sometimes _____ Frequently _____ Almost Always _____

I'm comfortable telling my contacts what I want or need.

Rarely _____ Sometimes _____ Frequently _____ Almost Always _____

In networking, strategy equals results.

Do you find yourself resisting being strategic? Do you think it's just too calculating to decide on a networking goal and go after it? Do you wish things would “just happen” without your orchestrating them? Tell yourself that managing your networking contacts is okay; manipulating is not. When you are aware of the difference, you'll feel more comfortable making a strategic networking plan. Tell yourself that planning for visibility and credibility is just like any other planning you do for your business or your career: It makes sense. You have limited hours and dollars to spend in the marketplace, and—without a plan—you'll sink down into aimless activity that doesn't amount to anything.

Meeting People

Look back at your answers as you consider these comments.

Are you surprised that giving your job title isn't the right thing to do? It will be more valuable to you if people know your talent, not your title. As people meet you for the first time, they don't care (yet!) that you're with Smith, Jones, Miller, Barnes and Blarney or that you work for Verizon. To craft answers to the inevitable “What Meeting People do you do?” question that features your talents rather than your title, the name of your company, or your occupation, consult Chapter 9. Hint: Your answers should make it easy for people to talk with you, and should begin to teach people about your Character and Competence.

Meeting People

When someone asks, “What do you do?” I avoid giving my job title (e.g., executive vice president of administrative services).

Rarely _____ Sometimes _____ Frequently _____ Almos...