CHAPTER 1
Before You Speak
What Is Public Speaking, and Where Does It Happen?
USING THIS BOOK
This book is designed to walk you through the process of writing, practicing, and delivering a speech or presentation in front of any audience. The first half outlines the process Iâve developed over the past fifteen years. The second half prepares you for different speaking situations, from moderating a panel to speaking off the cuff.
Identify an upcoming speaking opportunity and use this book to prepare. If you donât have one coming up, the section âFinding opportunities to speakâ will help you.
Find a practice partner with whom you can practice what you learn in this book. It should be someone you trust who can give you genuine feedback: a friend, family member, or colleague. Talk through your goals and fears about public speaking with this person, and practice your speech drafts along the way. Because public speaking revolves around the impact we have on others when we speak, itâs important to practice your speech with others to ensure that you are having the intended impact.
Alternately, you could form a book club and go through this book as a community. Before each meeting, read a chapter of the book and then come together to practice what you learn and apply it to your upcoming speech. Celebrate your progress and successes together.
Use this book as a practical, skill-building manual. Write in it, highlight it, and dog-ear the pages or take notes on your digital copy. Itâs intended to help you again and again. Many sections end with an exercise to apply directly to your speech or presentation. Each time you have an upcoming speech, you can quickly go through the exercises to prepare.
Donât try to go through this book all in one sitting. As youâll learn in Chapter 3, writing is an interactive process. Spend some time reading and writing, then take a break. Youâll learn about the power of âPause and Breatheâ in Chapter 7; beyond being a practical technique to avoid filler words and give your audience time to absorb your message, pause and breathe is a philosophy for calming your nerves and living your life.
VISUALIZING YOUR GOAL
If youâre listening to this book as an audiobook, close your eyes and listen to this paragraph. If youâre reading it, then as soon as you finish this paragraph, close your eyes and visualize it: You are about to give a speech. Youâre nervous, but you feel excited and ready. You walk onstage with confidence and a sense of purpose. You make eye contact with your audience, pause and breathe, and then deliver an opening sentence that captures peopleâs attention. You describe a central, compelling message that resonates with the audience and causes them to think differently about the world. You can see heads nodding and some people taking notes. You speak in a genuine, warm tone that makes people feel like you are having a conversation with them, like you would be the same person onstage as offstage. You use personal examples that illustrate your main message and include a call to action that underscores the urgency of your message. You finish to strong applause and a feeling of excitement and accomplishment. You did it!
How do you feel? I imagine if the above happened to you, you would feel energized, excited, and purposeful. Thatâs exactly how Iâd like you to feel, whether you are walking out onstage or striding confidently into a conference room. Thatâs why Iâve written this book.
DEFINING PUBLIC SPEAKING
Whatâs the difference between public speaking and presentation skills?
âI donât speak in public, but I give presentations every day.â
I remember the quizzical look I gave the woman who said that to me many years ago. I realized we might have different definitions of the same concept.
Close your eyes and picture someone who is âpublic speaking.â Where are they? What are they doing? Chances are, you picture someone standing on a podium, looking out at a vast crowd. You can hear a pin drop in the audience as she clears her throat and prepares to speak. Maybe she has a script, and maybe she uses a microphone. Thereâs nothing casual about it; itâs a formal speech.
A formal speech is certainly one example of public speaking. Giving a presentation is another example, when you convey information to an audience. You are probably in a smaller setting like a conference room, you might use visual aids or handouts, and your focus is more informational than inspirational. There is also some overlap between the two types of speaking. A presentation can be inspiring. A speech can be informative. Every time you communicate, you have an opportunity to influence others and make an impact.
I believe public speaking happens any time you speak with an audience of one or more people with some purpose. Itâs something you do every single day, at work and at home. Itâs a speech, presentation, or conversation, and it can happen in person, by phone, or by video. Why use such a broad definition? Because if we define public speaking as standing up and making formal remarks to an attentive audience, then weâll be neglecting the daily opportunities we have to connect with, influence, and inspire others.
Take a minute and think about what kind of speaking you do, with an audience of one or more, with some goal: Youâre being interviewed for your dream job or pitching a client, prospect, investor, or donor. Youâre having a difficult conversation with a direct report or addressing the entire company across different time zones. Youâre speaking up on a conference call or leading a video webinar. Youâre running for political office or trying to bring together your community to take action. Youâre speaking at a conference or walking into a networking event. In each and every one of these situations, you are speaking with an audience of one or more with some purpose. You are speaking in public, and you have an opportunity to make an impact.
Ever since the day that woman told me, âI donât speak in public, but I give presentations every day,â I have used both phrases together. Not because I believe they are separate, but because you might believe they are separate. And one of the first lessons in public speaking is to know your audience and their assumptions. If you relate to the phrase âpresentation skills,â then thatâs what I will use to get your attention instead of trying to convince you that my phrase is more inclusive. This book will cover all of it.
We Do This All Around the World
No matter what country we live in, what language we speak, what industry we work in, or what stage we are at in our career, every single one of us speaks in public. Public speaking is one of the most powerful and ancient ways in which we connect with others.
Iâve worked with Armenian economists, British investment bankers, Israeli diplomats, Japanese entrepreneurs, Palestinian investors, and women business owners from Argentina to Rwanda to Afghanistan. In this book, weâll talk about what is universal in public speaking and what is culturally specific so that you can give a powerful speech in English, Arabic, Spanish, or Kinyarwanda.
Is It Talking At People, or Talking With Them?
Many people donât like public speaking because they hate to be the center of attention, or perhaps because they donât like lecturing other people. Here is some good news: itâs not about making you the center of attention. A powerful speech should feel like a conversation between you and every single person in the audience, no matter the size.
As weâll discuss later on, when you focus on the message instead of the messenger, then many of your nerves dissipate. You no longer become the center of attention: your idea becomes the center of attention, and your audience becomes the focus.
Is Public Speaking a Skill or a Talent?
Many people use the excuse that public speaking is a talent that they werenât born with. My experience and the experience of my clients has taught me that public speaking is a skill. In fact, itâs a core belief upon which I built my company. While some people may be naturally better than others, itâs something that every single person can learn through practice and feedback. Itâs a skill that you can learn and master. Itâs a skill that this book will help you build.
Is Public Speaking About Substance, or Style?
Public speaking is not about dressing up a boring message with jazzy hand gestures or a charming smile. Itâs first and foremost about crafting a compelling message that resonates with you and your audience. Then itâs about delivering that message in a way that engages your audienceâs attention by using body language and eye contact that enhance instead of distract from the speech. Itâs about both substance and style, content and delivery.
Imagine a speaker with all substance and no style. She knows everything there is to know about her subject and has crafted a beautiful speech. However, she buries her nose in her notes, reads word-for-word from the page, and speaks in a flat, lifeless voice. Will she capture your attention? Will you listen to her entire message? Or will your mind wander to the things you didnât get done at work that day or what time you have to pick up your kids from school?
Now imagine a speaker with all style and no substance. He smiles widely at the audience, moves masterfully around the stage, and speaks with a warm, booming voice. He makes meaningful eye contact and pauses to make sure youâve absorbed the message. The problem is, there is no messageâhe speaks in platitudes weâve all heard before and doesnât have a compelling point. In fact, youâre wondering what the message is at all. Thereâs a humorous example of this at www.speakwithimpactbook.com.
Whether in a conference room or onstage, when you combine a powerful message with engaging and authentic delivery, you capture peopleâs attention and compel them to listen. You connect with them on a personal level, which lets them see you as a human being. This builds trust with the audience because it demonstrates how much you have in common. When you do this, your words have maximum impact.
Some people will discredit the importance of nonverbal communication. Some experts will tell you that itâs all about the strength of their argument and the veracity of their data. I disagree. Professor Alex âSandyâ Pentland of MITâs Human Dynamics Laboratory explains that nonverbal signals predate human language. We pick up on these âhonest signalsâ far more quickly than we do the language itself. So while we may think itâs just about the content, weâre reading cues before the speaker even says a word.1
Why Is Public Speaking Important?
If youâve purchased this book, then you already have some idea of why public speaking is important. Maybe youâre still scarred from that first public speaking experience you had in middle school, or maybe it happened last week at a staff meeting, or you have just been informed that you will have to give a toast at your best friendâs wedding.
Why go through all the effort to learn how to speak in public? Isnât it easier just to hide behind email or strategically delegate the presentation to someone else?
Speech is one of the most powerful tools we have as human beings. Itâs one of the ways in which we build trust with others: if you want to get to know someone, you talk to them. In studying high-performing teams, Professor Pentland found face-to-face communication to be the most valuable form of communication.2 Regardless of all the digital ways we can connect, there is ...