Plays, 1996-2000 (Maxwell)

Richard Maxwell

• Publisher: Theatre Communications Group
• Year: 2003
• Print ISBN: 9781559362283
• eBook ISBN: 9781559367011
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: Performance Art
• Index: Literature

This volume collects for the first time the work of one of America’s most important, vital and original young voices. Turning the American family drama firmly on its head, "Maxwell strips more layers of explanation from the Freudian family romance, shining light on the humiliation and fury usually reasoned out of sight by psychologizing playwrights. Few characters in contemporary drama are as exposed as Maxwell’s."—Marc Robinson, Village Voice

"Imagine if you took a giant hatpin and stuck it into Sylvester Stallone’s Rocky. Once all the hot air had leaked out of that melodrama about a working-class underdog who wins fame, fortune and love in the boxing ring, you might find something very much like Richard Maxwell’s Boxing 2000. By taking a conventional formula and draining it of all its humid sentimentality and synthetic adrenaline, Mr. Maxwell discovers something new and unexpected. Boxing 2000 is a real knockout: a play that not only challenges theatrical clichés, but your ideas about theatre itself."—Wall Street Journal

""It’s a sensation that’s felt all too rarely these days. Watching Mr. Maxwell’s work makes you think of what it must have been like to stumble upon the baffling but seductive creations of a young Sam Shepard in the early 1960’s in the East Village."—, New York Times

This first volume collects nine of Maxwell’s early works: Boxing 2000, Caveman, House (1999 OBIE Award winner), Showy Lady Slipper and others.

Richard Maxwell is a writer, director and songwriter. He began his acting career with the Steppenwolf Theatre Company in Chicago, where he helped found the Cook County Theater Department, which challenged the principles of traditional acting training. He is artistic director of New York City Players. His plays have been performed in the U.S. at Soho Rep, The Kitchen, P.S. 122, HERE, the Williamstown Theater Festival, Walker Arts Center and the Wexner Center for the Arts; and in Paris, Berlin, Dublin, Brussels, Amsterdam and Vienna.

A-1 ROLLING STEAK HOUSE

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A-1 Rolling Steak House premiered at the Ontological Theater in New York City in September 1998. Direction by the author. Robot by Joseph Silovsky. Original cast:

STEVE	James Stanley
RAY	Alex Eiserloh
JUNIOR	Gary Wilmes

Steve enters and cooks at a Weber grill. Ray and Junior enter.

 

RAY: . . . In a couple minutes, Steve’s going to have sirloin for you all. Y’all ready? It’s 10 pounds of choice-cut fresh-cooked sirloin to give away. Cut it up Steve! Steve! How’s it taste?! . . .

STEVE: (It’s not ready yet.)

RAY: Is it done?! What’s that? Rare? Rare!? Steve, you have to be better than that, baby. We don’t want these folks to catch the ebola monster. Cook it up.

JUNIOR: Steve’s a handy guy. I know you ladies be checkin him out.

RAY: Yeah.

JUNIOR: Ha-ha. Ray, look at his sneaks . . .

RAY: Ha-ha.

STEVE: (Don’t.)

RAY (To someone offstage): . . . What? . . . Okay.

All right! We got hats, T-shirts, steak sauce. Tell-you-what!

ALL: Hey-oh!

RAY: I said, tell-you-what!

ALL: Hey-ah-oh!

RAY: Tell you what I’m gonna do! As I’m scanning with my X-ray specs, I’m lookin at all these beautiful women out here . . . I’m looking at all these these beautiful women out here. 10 pounds of sirloin goes to the first girl who can tell me . . . who can tell me . . . let’s see . . . who can tell me how many pounds of sirloin we’ve given away so far on this trip. We’ve been out on the road for—what? 3 months? 3 months?! On this road trip, dude? Does it seem that long to me?

JUNIOR:

RAY: It’s a lot of steak, but I like it . . . So I’m going to give away. Or wait. Junior. You’re going—I want Junior to give this away. No, I want Junior to give this away. I see the girls eyeing that steak but I’m not sure, maybe it’s Junior they be lookin at.

JUNIOR: Ohh!

RAY: Huh? . . . Or maybe Stevie?

They wrestle.

ALL: Ha-ha!

JUNIOR: Seriously, I think this should go to the first girl who comes up here and tells us how much this piece of steak weighs. No, we said it.

RAY: This will go to the first person who has some literature on the—who can come up here with some literature from a . . . wildlife charity conservation program . . . Anyone who has some literature on the widlife charity conservation program . . .

JUNIOR: How about free T-shirt to the first person who can come up here and tell us . . . how many cities we’ve been to. How many cities we’ve been to in the last 3 and a half months . . . Anybody? . . . What he say?

RAY: 11.

JUNIOR: No, it’s not 11. Close. No. But not 11. Any other answers? . . . What? RAY: 14.

JUNIOR: Yes! He got it. Correct. You are correct sir. 14 cities. We been to 14 cities? Man.

RAY: Okay, I’ve got a free T-shirt. I’m going to go long with this. Okay. Y’all. Watch the video monitor. We’ve got a little video demonstration up here for you to watch. I think you’re going to like. Remember, we’re giving away 16 tons of beef over the last 3 and a half months.

JUNIOR: 16 tons, G. Is like that song: “It’s six-teen tons—I-likeit-like-that . . .”

RAY: Ohh. Oh.

JUNIOR: “Some-people-don’t-know-ah-don’t-kno www w . . .”

RAY: Ohh. Oh. Oh-oh. Stevie. Watch out. Junior’s croonin. (To audience) So don’t go away. We’ve got a lot of steak here with the A-1 steak sauce.

Pause.

 

Steve, what are you marinating this with. That smells good.

STEVE: (Barbeque sauce.)

JUNIOR: Call him Sandy. Look at that head.

RAY: . . . All right. Everybody. Who wants a Supreme A-1 Hat. I got 1 steak hat to give to somebody. You could grill with this . . . No, guy. You had one, this guy got all the stuff. Check this guy out. Where you be puttin all your stuff. You’re like the—what? . . . No, I don’t—you’re like the Abraham Lincoln guy with a beer belly. Been drinkin too much beer Abraham Lincoln. Black T-shirt. You know? Junior? I don’t think I want to give to this guy. He ate all our steak I think. I don’t think you need any more stuff, man.

JUNIOR: Okay, we got 20 more minutes until the next batch of steak comes out . . .

RAY: How we doin Stevie?

JUNIOR: (Steve, make sure how much we still got.)

STEVE: . . . Don’t—

RAY: All right, we got 20 minutes. About 20 minutes and the steak will be done. We’ll have more steak for you. Cool. Okay . . . It’s time to play “What’s at Steak?” You all know this. We played yesterday. And those of you that were here know the rules. I ask a question about A-1 and you come up and compete for the steak with another contestant and points are given to correct answers. Right?

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JUNIOR: Ah-ight.

RAY: Okay, Junior. You know this, dude.

JUNIOR: Okay, here’s the question. Ready? I want to ask a question. Here. There are 5 count em 5 flavors of A-1 steak sauce. I want to do something a little bit different this time. I want to have a couple come up here and answer the question, how many—what are the 5 flavors of steak sauce. A-1 has 5. “Count-the-flavors. A-1 has-5-flavors.” Can you come up here?

RAY: She don’t want to come up, Junior. Ha-ha.

JUNIOR: What’s a matter?

RAY: She’s scared of you Junior! Ha-ha.

JUNIOR: No, I think she scared of Sandy!

STEVE: (Junior . . .)

JUNIOR: You don’t want to come up onstage?

RAY: Junior don’t be biting. Yesterday, we had people coming up and singing songs. Now no one wants to come up here, dude.

JUNIOR: What’d she say?

RAY: She didn’t say anything. Is there someone?

JUNIOR: “Lady, she’s-my-lady . . .” (He throws the hat) Okay, next question. What is the secret ingredient of A-1 sauce? A-1 has one secret ingredient. Do you know what it is? . . . What’d she say?

RAY: She said “tangy.”

JUNIOR: Judges? . . . No. I’m sorry.

RAY: Next question. This is for the grand prize of, what else we got to give away? We still got steak to give away. And the question is: Where? Who can tell me where A-1 is made?

JUNIOR: I’ll give you a clue, it’s a very famous state.

RAY: What state is A-1 developed in? There’s only one . . . Who knows this? Junior, you know this, you decide if they’re right.

JUNIOR: You know what? You know where it is, G? It’s—Sandy—it’s Sandy’s home state. If that helps. What’d he say? Ohio?

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RAY: Idaho.

JUNIOR: No . . . (To Sandy) Right?

RAY: Oregon? Is it Oregon?

JUNIOR: No . . .

RAY: How about? Washington?

JUNIOR: No. (To Sandy) Is it?

RAY: Let Sandy tell them . . .

JUNIOR: Sandy?

SANDY:

Sandy starts for Junior.

JUNIOR: Ha-ha.

RAY: Horseplay! This is all horseplay! (Looks offstage) . . . Okay. Come on. Steve. What is it?

SANDY: (North Carolina.)

RAY AND JUNIOR: Ohhh!

RAY: We have a winner. Stevie is the winner. He knew that one, oh my goodness.

A Robot enters. He walks downstage, stops then speaks:

ROBOT: Okay, please take a flyer and pass it back. Okay, please take a flyer and pass it back. (Pause) Is Steve here?

RAY: Steve? . . .

STEVE: . . . Yeah.

ROBOT: Steven, will you come.

Steve takes off his apron and follows Robot out.

SHOWY LADY SLIPPER

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Showy Lady Slipper premiered in 1999 at Performance Space 122 in New York City. Direction by the author. Set by Joseph Silovsky. Costumes and lights by Jane Cox. Original cast:

LORI	Sibyl Kempson
ERIN	Ashley Turba
JENNIFER	Jean Ann Garrish
JOHN	Jim Fletcher

Musicians:

Bryan Kelly (Bass)

Scott Sherrat...

Table of contents

• Title Page
• A-1 ROLLING STEAK HOUSE
• SHOWY LADY SLIPPER
• CAVEMAN
• BOXING 2000
• Copyright Page