The first half.
As the audience takes its seat and waits in the auditorium, thereâs a session on stage with musicians and singers belting out songs to one another. Itâs raw, chaotic and hugely positive.
Suddenly itâs dark and silent.
A light fades up on the Guy singing âLeave.â
LEAVE
GUY:
I canât wait forever is all that you said
Before you stood up
And you wonât disappoint me
I can do that myself
But Iâm glad that youâve come
Now if you donât mind
Leave, leave,
And free yourself at the same time
Leave, leave,
I donât understand, youâve already gone
I hope you feel better
Now that itâs out
What took you so long
And the truth has a habit
Of falling outta your mouth
Well now that itâs come
If you donât mind
Leave, leave,
And please yourself at the same time
Leave, leave,
Let go of my hand
You said what you came to now
Leave, leave,
Let go of my hand
You said what you have to now
Leave, leave,
Leave, leave,
Let go of my hand
You said what you have to now
Leave, leave ...
(Heâs finished.
He quietly takes the strap off the guitar and slowly lowers the guitar to the ground.
He turns to leave the stage.
Then from the shadows:)
GIRL: That song you playâis it yours?
(He stops and looks into the darkness but canât see her just yet.)
I know you can talk I just heard you singâunless you cannot talk and only sing. If you want you can sing me your answer to my question . . .
GUY (Heâs leaving): No thanks.
GIRL: I made you talk just now.
GUY: I could talk already . . .
GIRL: So you write this song?
GUY: Yeah.
GIRL: Itâs very good.
GUY: Thanks.
GIRL: Youâre welcome. Hello.
GUY: Hey.
(A slight pause.)
GIRL: Is it always me who has to start the conversation?
GUY: Well you seem more up for it than I do.
GIRL: Itâs not even my language this English.
GUY: You speak it well.
GIRL: I have an accent.
GUY: We all have accents.
GIRL: We are people of the world.
GUY: Right.
GIRL: Do you enjoy being Irish?
GUY: Seriously?
GIRL: Iâm always seriousâIâm Czech. Are you enjoying your life right now?
GUY: Sorry, what?! . . .
GIRL: Why do you leave your guitar on the ground?
GUY: I donât want it anymore.
GIRL: Is it too heavy?
GUY: No.
GIRL: You should pick it upâguitars cost money.
GUY: Look I better go . . .
GIRL: Where?
GUY: To work.
GIRL: What is your work please?
GUY: I fix Hoovers.
GIRL: What is Hoovers?!
GUY: You know . . . vacuum cleaners.
GIRL: You fix vacuum cleaners?! My God, really?!! This is incredible! I have here a vacuum cleaner that needs fixing.
(Somehow a vacuum cleaner has appeared right beside her.)
It was my destiny to meet you todayâto listen to your beautiful songâto hear of your fabulous fixing.
GUY: Your destiny?
GIRL: It must be, right?!
GUY: So whatâs wrong with it?
GIRL: It doesnât suck....