Answering Why

Unleashing Passion, Purpose, and Performance in Younger Generations

Mark C. Perna

• Publisher: Greenleaf Book Group Press
• Year: 2018
• Print ISBN: 9781626345119
• eBook ISBN: 9781626345126
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Careers

Bridge the Gap and Reach the Why Generation If you've ever struggled to motivate the young people in your sphere of influence, Answering Why is the game-changer you've been looking for. From the urgent skills gap crisis to the proven strategies to inspire our youngest generations, Answering Why addresses the burning questions faced by educators, employers, and parents everywhere. Author, CEO, and generational expert Mark C. Perna shares his wide experience and profound success as both a single dad and performance consultant for education and workforce development across North America. Readers will be empowered to:

• Embrace the branch-creak crisis moments of life
• Make meaningful, productive connections with the Why Generation (anyone under 40 today)
• Bring relevance, self-discovery, and passion to the learning process ?The Why Generation is asking a serious question, and it's time to answer it. This book will help awaken the incredible potential of young people everywhere and spur them to increased performance on all fronts, so they can make a bigger difference—which is exactly what they want.

SECTION TWO

Plan for Exceptional
Performance

CHAPTER FOUR

Why the Why Generation Doesn’t Hear the Branch Creaking

Today’s younger generations, more than any previous generation, seldom if ever hear the branch creak underneath their feet. (A notable exception would be the younger members of the Why Generation who grew up witnessing the effects of the 2008 economic downturn on their parents’ and older siblings’ careers and are thus more concerned about their own economic prospects.) When I have asked audiences why most of today’s young people do not hear the branch creak, participants have contributed such suggestions as “they’re too comfortable”; “they take few chances”; “they rarely climb the tree”; and “they hardly ever go outside.” All accurate answers—and yet the most enlightening reason is that they are for the most part the sons and daughters of the most financially successful generations in history, the baby boomers and Generation X, and no matter where they sit today—upper, middle, or lower income—their situation is not that bad. They can always move back home with their parents, crash at a buddy’s house, or find a place to lay their head at night. Even at the lower-income end of the spectrum, there are state and local support services available to lend a helping hand. “Our chickens are coming home to roost,” says David Sload, the president and CEO of the Associated Builders and Contractors Keystone Chapter in Pennsylvania. “I think there is a dawning realization that as the number of people living with their parents without a job increases, we are entering a crisis. The fact is that college is not for everyone, especially at 18 years old. That narrative that you need to go to college has done us all a disservice that’s led us to our current under-employment problem.”¹

I think we can all agree that we might need a more sustainable model.

And to do that, we first need to acknowledge that the Why Generation has been raised for achievement. They have been generously praised both when they have done well and sometimes when they have done poorly, to avoid damaging their self-esteem. Their parents (and therefore, they) have placed a huge importance on racking up accomplishments both inside and outside the classroom. Parents, teachers, coaches, and friends have affirmed them throughout their childhood with seemingly endless strings of praise and positive comments. These ongoing accolades have become critical to their self-esteem and have led to a desire for a great deal of continuing attention.

They have been nicknamed the “trophy kids,” because in many parts of this country trophies are provided for everyone who participates in a sport. Not just the winning team, but everyone who plays receives a trophy. You have to ask, if everyone receives a trophy, does the trophy mean anything—to anyone? In this circumstance, it appears we have watered down achievement to the lowest common denominator in an effort to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings while artificially boosting self-esteem. But if self-esteem comes from within and represents what we think of ourselves, is it possible to artificially create it?

Entitlement also grows out of a sense of being right—even when you are wrong. Through our efforts to bolster their self-esteem, these generations have grown up rarely being told they are wrong. The deck has been stacked in some cases to ensure they do not hear the branch creak or feel the shame of being wrong. But growth happens when you are wrong, the branch creaks, and you face the consequences of your actions. If consequences don’t occur, a feeling of always being right (and therefore entitled) can result. This can be seen in schools across the country as far too many students are doing less work but still expecting to graduate all the same and simply move on.

As an example, it has become easier and easier for a student to catch up on deficient credits in high school, especially at the last minute, because schools are under fire to graduate their students and move them on into some kind of positive placement such as college, career training, the military, and so on. A credit-deficient student does not have enough credits to graduate because somewhere along the line he or she has not taken or passed enough of the right courses. Sometimes this situation arises because of the courses these students took, the performance they delivered, or just plain laziness and lack of engagement. For whatever reason, these students become at risk of not graduating. In our society and school systems today, this is considered a failure not only of the student, but also the school, the community, the state, and the education system in general. Everyone loses—so what’s the answer when everyone loses? We must make sure they get the credits and move on, because that is in everyone’s best interest according to the way our education system is evaluated and funded.

I know counselors, teachers, and administrators who hound students to make up their credits by staying after school, coming in early, or working harder. As reported to me, many credit-deficient students exhibit a total lack of interest in doing the necessary work because they know that at the last minute and in the final hours there will be an easy fix to their situation. I have been told by counselors that some students will say, “Why should I try during the school year when I can get an easy credit online from home in a few weeks?” The students are smart; they’ve come to understand the way the system works, and consequently many have figured out the bare minimum necessary to simply get through. There appears to be no branch creak, little consequence, and certainly no Light at the End of the Tunnel for these students. If there is no urgency, no “want-to,” then there is no “how-to” leading to performance. Consider the long-term effects of this system on students today who become the employees of tomorrow. Have we taught them to strive with all their might for what they want—or to do as little as possible to get by?

In my travels, I speak to many diverse education groups, and I always ask teachers in the audience, “Have you ever looked into the eyes of a student and clearly wanted it more for them than they wanted it for themselves?” Teachers nod in complete agreement and some articulate out loud that it happens every day. In a dream-state kind of way, many of them feel like they would love to hold the student up against the wall by the collar in an effort to get through and state directly, “Do you realize the options and opportunities that are passing you by every day? Do you have any idea of the amazing possibilities within your reach? Wake up!”

I submit to you that these students simply don’t hear the branch creak. They are pretty comfortable, and growth is a far-off, “maturity” kind of concept that happens when they are much older, certainly not today. But growth happens when we step outside our comfort zone, when the branch creaks—almost never when we are in our comfort zone standing on firm ground.

We should think about the safety nets we’ve created for our children and students—and maybe also ourselves. Should those safety nets be removed? Branch creaks mean nothing if there’s no real danger of plunging to the ground below. Short-term discomfort can be the catalyst for long-term positive change—and that might start with the parents.

Parenting: A Broad Spectrum

In general, today’s younger generations have been nurtured and cared for to an extent unlike any previous generation. I’ve touched on this before, but it’s an important truth to grasp where many of their traits come from. They have been supported, encouraged, and given a great many opportunities that were unavailable to their ancestors. Perhaps you have experienced life as part of this nurtured generation. Nurturing is essential and important, but how far should it be taken? Is there a point at which it goes from a positive to a negative?

My previous home had a robin’s nest outside the front door. It was nestled inside a tall standing bush right in front of one of the two columns at the front door. What made this nest fun to watch was that it was easily visible from behind, where you could see it from the front porch. It was wonderful. I was able to get close and peer in to see the young occupants after they had hatched. Mother and father bird were always gracious in allowing me to catch a bird’s-eye view of the action. I never lingered, just grabbed a quick look and moved back inside so as not to spook them.

No doubt, mother and father bird were wonderful, nurturing parents. They kept watch, defended, fed, and took care of any other needs their young had. I watched as the baby birds grew and reached their young adult stage. For several days the young birds began to fly in and out of the nest—testing their wings, developing strength, and acquiring the early signs of self-reliance and independence. After several days of this ballet of coming and going from the nest, the nest was empty. The entire family had moved on. Sure, the mother and father were still engaged in the lives of their young and would continue to feed them, but the goal of the process had been to wean them off parental support so they could fly, hunt, and care for themselves. This and many other examples of parenting exist in nature—parents helping their young develop the necessary skills to literally and figuratively fly on their own.

There are many kinds of parents: unengaged, engaged, and perhaps even overengaged. Are you familiar with the term helicopter parents? These are the parents who are constantly hovering over their sons and daughters, just as helicopters hover, to ensure that everything in their lives is going well and according to plan. As I said, the Why Generation has been nurtured unlike any previous generation. Due in part to technological advances that give us the ability to stay connected 24 hours a day, modern parents have unprecedented connection to their children.

I do not mean to suggest that helicopter parenting is completely negative, but it can flirt with the boundary between empowering and enabling. Are we ever allowing our children to fly on their own versus continually flapping their wings for them and feeding them? Could we be “helping” them beyond the time they can do it for themselves? And if we are, is that helping them achieve the results we truly want for them?

Through my work with schools across the country, I have heard shocking stories of helicopter parents interceding to make up for their son’s or daughter’s lack of performance in the classroom. It has even been reported that some helicopter parents wake up their adult children each morning at college or prior to the workday to ensure they are on time and on task. What’s more, if something goes wrong, they are the first to be on the phone to correct the perceived injustice to their kids.

To ...

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Title
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Contents
• Section One: Focus on the Challenge
• Section Two: Plan for Exceptional Performance
• Section Three: Take Action on the Plan
• Acknowledgments
• Endnotes
• Index
• About the Author