Robert Hartwell Fiske's Dictionary of Unendurable English

A Compendium of Mistakes in Grammar, Usage, and Spelling with commentary on lexicographers and linguists

Robert Hartwell Fiske

• Publisher: Scribner
• Year: 2011
• Print ISBN: 9781451651324
• eBook ISBN: 9781451651348
• Subtopic: Grammar & Punctuation

Robert Hartwell Fiske aims to eliminate laxity in language today by way of this witty and engaging reference.

Fiske rails against "laxicographers and ding-a-linguists" who, with their misguided thinking, actually promote the dissolution of the English language. He also illustrates why dictionaries don't always provide the correct meaning or usage of a word. With concise instruction and numerous examples of misused words, Fiske makes it easier than ever to learn from others' mistakes.

This comprehensive dictionary of common misusages lays bare the mistakes we all make every day. Robert Hartwell Fiske, the grumbling grammarian of our time, shows you the definitive right way and wrong way to use language--and illustrates why dictionaries don't always provide the correct meaning or usage of a word.

The Dictionary of Unendurable English

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abberation Misspelling of aberration. • New employment data Friday will either corroborate recent evidence showing the economy is improving, or indicate that last month’s job gain was an abberation. USE aberration. • Hedman had been a player in search of one, redemptive moment that would grant him forgiveness in the eyes of the fans after his abberation in Munich. USE aberration.

Abberation is how aberrant users of the English language spell aberration. The language has its deviants, its descriptive linguists, its dictionary makers.

abilify The brand name of a drug to treat depression, Abilify sounds as though it might be a verb meaning to make able. This is a deliberate corporate strategy to (1) make the drug sound effective, indeed, active and powerful, and, more important, (2) encourage people to use the brand name as a common verb. Although corporations may, to all appearances, try to maintain the integrity of their brand names, they secretly hope these names become part of the vernacular. Tissues are often called kleenex after Kleenex brand tissues (that is, let all tissues be considered kleenex or Kleenex brand), bandages are often called band-aids after Band-Aid brand bandages (that is, let all bandages be considered band-aids), and photocopies are often called xeroxes after Xerox brand photocopiers (that is, let all photocopies be considered Xerox copies). Abilify might one day mean to be powerfully effective or to make able, and the more people use it as such, the more likely, these advertisers (and the linguistic hirelings who work for them) hope, the brand name drug for combating depression will be known and bought. Already people have a sense of this: “Abilify sounds like something George W. Bush would say, as in, We need to abilify our troops to fight the terrorists”; “We need to abilify those kids so they become educationable.” SEE ALSO alleve; realator.

abominable Misused for abdominal. • A valuable isometric exercise, however, is simply tightening and releasing the abominable muscles, which is a good way to tone and strengthen them. USE abdominal. • But one of the common reasons for abominable pain is appendicitis, which can be easily treated by removing the appendix. USE abdominal.

Abdominal is also sometimes misspelled abdominable: • I went into Mountainside Hospital about 2:30 A.M. on Wednesday morning with unbearable abdominable pain. USE abdominal. • There is absolutely no point in toning your abdominable muscles if they’re covered in belly flab. USE abdominal.

Abominable (ah-BOM-i-nah-ble) means detestable; hateful. Abdominal (ab-DOM-i-nel) means of or relating to the abdomen or belly. Abdominable, were there such a word, would likely mean hateful and mawlike.

abrogate Misused for arrogate. • Yet, cocooned as they are in their superstitions, the eco-warriors abrogate for themselves the right to break the law. USE arrogate. • The president might abrogate to himself unforeseen power. USE arrogate. • Luce also began to abrogate for himself some of the paternal rights of the chief executive. USE arrogate.

Abrogate means to abolish; to annul. Arrogate means to appropriate; to take or claim for oneself without justification; to assign something to another in an unwarranted way. As the examples illustrate, arrogate, not abrogate, is the correct word if followed by to or for and a reflexive pronoun.

If we ignore the distinctions between words, we begin to ignore or disapprove of the distinctions between people; individuality, which, even now, is not favorably regarded, will become increasingly frowned upon, eventually unlawful, perhaps.

absolutely Like definitely, awesome, great, and similarly tiresome words, absolutely is far too often spoken, far too often heard. Yes or completely is all anyone means by absolutely. Rather than use this word as an intensive to overstate and overemphasize, let us speak more deliberately and better measure our words. SEE ALSO awesome; great.

absorbtion Misspelling of absorption. • Total energy absorbtion coefficients are used for the calculation of deposited dose by a given energy fluence. USE absorption. • These wheels are used to achieve higher top speed and better shock absorbtion. USE absorption. • In broccoli for example, cooking increases iron absorbtion from 6 percent to 30 percent. USE absorption.

Absorption (with a p), not absorbtion (with a b), is the process of absorbing or of being absorbed; the state of being engrossed.

accel (accell) Misspelling of excel. • This unique program is recognized nationwide to be an effective and positive way to provide your child with cutting-edge skills to accell at home, in school, and in other sports and activities. USE excel. • He accells at everything he does, from music, to writing, to graphic design. USE excels. • In The Color of My Skin, she casts Sachse High School as a center of institutional racism, where white students accell while minorities go virtually ignored. USE excel.

Excel means to surpass others; to be better than. Neither accel nor accell is a word. SEE ALSO excell.

accelerate Misused for exhilarate. • For a lot of these Wadsworth seniors, Grease will be an accelerating experience, but also close to four years of hard work. USE exhilarating. • It is an evolving, accelerating experience like none other that has come before. USE exhilarating. • The old Minerva would have felt sorry for the bickering couple, but she felt accelerated by their pain. USE exhilarated.

Accelerate means to increase the speed of; to cause to occur sooner than expected. Exhilarate means to cause to feel refreshed and energetic; to invigorate. SEE ALSO exhileration.

accidently Misspelling of accidentally. • Lee admits he may have accidently passed secrets to other countries. USE accidentally. • Immediately smitten, Guido, who gets a job as a waiter, arranges to accidently bump into Dora over the next several days, but eventually realizes that she’s engaged—albeit unhappily—to a Fascist official. USE accidentally. • If a thrown ball accidently touches a base coach, or a pitched or thrown ball touches an umpire, the ball is alive and in play. USE accidentally.

At least two well-known dictionaries do recognize the spelling accidently. But let this be a further reminder that dictionaries merely record how people use the language, not necessarily how it ought to be used. Some dictionaries, we can reasonably infer, actually promote illiteracy. If we were to rely exclusively on dictionary pronouncements, we’d be altogether undone. SEE ALSO occasionly; publically.

acclimation Misused for acclamation. • “Then, thirty years ago,” his voice rose in acclimation. USE acclamation. • There was applause and acclimation in response. USE acclamation. • A vote of acclimation or a voice vote is appropriate for procedural votes or whenever a record of how individuals voted isn’t necessary. USE acclamation. • The unanimous decision by the jury, after only 15 minutes of deliberation, is a resounding acclimation of support for veterans. USE acclamation.

Acclamation, the noun form of acclaim, is enthusiastic approval or applause; a vote of affirmation by applause or cheers. Acclimation, the noun form of acclimate, is adaptation to a new situation or environment.

acrosst Misspelling of across. • Do you think of countless sold records and happy fans from acrosst the world? USE across. • I was not sure what was actually being aborted until I came acrosst this website. USE across. • These people do not work directly in the Rice Psychology Department, but many of them are acrosst the street at UT-Houston Medical School. USE across. • The wind is blowing acrosst. USE across.

Among the ill-bred and ill-read, across is spelled acrosst and pronounced (ah-KROST).

actionize Misused for effect (or similar words). • This course will provide insight and training which can be used to actionize communities to organize for change in public policies that will improve community conditions for all. USE motivate. • As Muslims have contempt for all other fa...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Description
• Back Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Contents
• First Foreword by John Simon
• Second Foreword by Clark Elder Morrow
• Prologue
• Imprecation
• The Dictionary of Unendurable English
• Epilogue • Language Craven: A Definition
• Acknowledgments
• Appendix A • Mock Merriam
• Appendix B • The Fiske Ranking of College Dictionaries
• Appendix C • Write to a Laxicographer
• Notes