Making Great Decisions Reflections

For a Life Without Limits

T.D. Jakes

• Publisher: Atria Books
• Year: 2009
• Print ISBN: 9781416547532
• eBook ISBN: 9781439166086
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Literature & the Arts in Christianity

The star of BETs Mind, Body & Soul, and featured guest speaker on Oprah's Lifeclass, Potter's House pastor, T.D. Jakes turns his attention to the topic of relationships, guiding you on the right track to making decisions you will benefit from for the rest of your life. In the vein of Joel Osteen's Become a Better You and Dr. Phil's Life Strategies, the New York Times bestselling Making Great Decisions (formerly tiled Before You Do ) gives you the psychological and practical tools you need to reflect, discern, and decide the next step toward strong relationships in your life. "Remember, " writes T.D. Jakes, "your tomorrow is no better than the decisions you make today.""My promise is that if you read this book, you will be equipped, you will know all you need to know about making foolproof relational decisions, " writes T.D. Jakes. Choosing the right partner, at home or at work, is one of the most consequential decisions we'll ever make. How can we be sure that we're choosing wisely? How do we know if we're doing the right thing when we change careers? By breaking our decisions down into their five crucial components: Research: gathering informationRoadwork: removing obstaclesRewards: listing choices and visualizing consequences Revelation: narrowing your options and making your selection Rearview: looking back and adjusting as necessary to stay on course Clear-sighted, realistic, and spiritually uplifting, Making Great Decisions is one of those rare books that can change lives.

Reflection 1

Before I take any great step OR make any decision, I must deromanticize it.

 

You

I have seen far too many marriages and other kinds of great beginnings that ended horrendously. My focus must be not, on the plans, but on the far more difficult processes that follow, the long-term consequences of my relationship decisions. I must see not only the face of my sweetie pie but the face I will wake up next to for the rest of my life, the face of my partner of choice, the face I will run to when life becomes cold and pains are unbearable. The one I must choose as carefully as a warrior selects a weapon or an artist selects a medium—my weapon of choice when I fight layoffs, mounting bills, pressure, and unimaginable challenge. The face I will watch convulse with the aches and pains of disease and injury; the face that will comfort me and the hand I will squeeze in sorrow.

 

Do

I do not romanticize my perspectives based on commercials and soap operas. Life is not always easy. I must begin to glimpse what many don’t learn until they experience pain and regret.

Reflection 2

Before I choose a spouse or make any relationship decision, I must know how to deliberate carefully.

 

You

I must be as deliberate as possible, as logical, objective, and thoughtful in my decision to commit, cohabitate, and commingle my DNA. Love need not leave me intoxicated and blind to the realities that await me in a close relationship: bills to be paid, diapers to be changed, cars to be repaired, homes to be moved, jobs to be completed, on and on throughout all the seasons of my life. This is what I’m committing to. I’m not committing to a lifetime of good chemistry or shared ideals or that tingling feeling inside.

This reality also must not dampen my enthusiasm for a relationship, or make me cynical and suspect of the joys that married life can afford. But I must make every relationship decision with appropriate care and deliberation. So much of the rest of my life comes down to this one decision.

 

Do

I do act based on logic, objectives, and thought—not solely emotions—in all my relationship decisions.

Reflection 3

Before I make a pivotal decision, I will examine the power of one single choice to shape the rest of my life, and the lives of others.

 

You

The power of one individual decision can never be underestimated. Fortunes have been gained and lost, marriages mended and torn, children born or buried, all because of one person’s decision, which may have seemed of little importance at the time.

I understand that life has a way of knocking me down. My life will be easier the fewer mistakes I make. Life brings real challenges but I do not have to give way to pressure, anger, or disappointment and succumb to pain, losing sight of my passion and purpose. I realize that every important relationship decision affects the quality of my entire life.

 

Do

I do move into relationship decisions in a way that will ensure positive results. I will do everything I can to ensure the best choices for my life.

Reflection 4

Before I make an important relationship decision, I realize that I can’t afford to make a bad choice and face a setback.

 

You

I have to make every move count. I do not want to have to recover economically, emotionally, or spiritually from a massive setback that could result from a bad decision.

This means that sometimes, even after I spend time and money, even invest emotionally in a relationship, I have to decide against it. Others may say, “You did all of that and still walked away?” What I spent investigating it might seem wasted to them, but not to me.

I have learned that relationship decisions come down to five crucial components:

Research—gathering information and collecting data

Roadwork—removing obstacles and clearing the path

Rewards—listing choices and imagining their consequences

Revelation—narrowing my options and making my selection

Rearview—looking back and adjusting as necessary to stay on course

In fact, these components can be applied to any area of my life. Whether choosing a spouse, selecting a major in college, acquiring property, deciding on a new career, buying a company, or determining where I will live, all my major decisions require due diligence and deliberation. I want to make significant decisions with as much certainty as possible. If I do, I’ll move confidently into the future with no regrets.

 

Do

I do gather as much data as possible before making a big decision.

Reflection 5

Before I credit extenuating circumstances beyond my control to my achievement or failure, I admit that I am a victim or victor of my own making, because of a key decision.

You

I can trace every success...

Table of contents

• Cover
• ALSO BY T. D. JAKES
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Contents
• Introduction
• How to Use This Book
• Reflection 1
• Reflection 2
• Reflection 3
• Reflection 4
• Reflection 5
• Reflection 6
• Reflection 7
• Reflection 8
• Reflection 9
• Reflection 10
• Reflection 11
• Reflection 12
• Reflection 13
• Reflection 14
• Reflection 15
• Reflection 16
• Reflection 17
• Reflection 18
• Reflection 19
• Reflection 20
• Reflection 21
• Reflection 22
• Reflection 23
• Reflection 24
• Reflection 25
• Reflection 26
• Reflection 27
• Reflection 28
• Reflection 29
• Reflection 30
• Reflection 31
• Reflection 32
• Reflection 33
• Reflection 34
• Reflection 35
• Reflection 36
• Reflection 37
• Reflection 38
• Reflection 39
• Reflection 40
• Reflection 41
• Reflection 42
• Reflection 43
• Reflection 44
• Reflection 45
• Reflection 46
• Reflection 47
• Reflection 48
• Reflection 49
• Reflection 50
• Reflection 51
• Reflection 52
• Reflection 53
• Reflection 54
• Reflection 55
• Reflection 56
• Reflection 57
• Reflection 58
• Reflection 59
• Reflection 60
• Reflection 61
• Reflection 62
• Reflection 63
• Reflection 64
• Reflection 65
• Reflection 66
• Reflection 67
• Reflection 68
• Reflection 69
• Reflection 70
• Reflection 71
• Reflection 72
• Reflection 73
• Reflection 74
• Reflection 75
• Reflection 76
• Reflection 77
• Reflection 78
• Reflection 79
• Reflection 80
• Reflection 81
• Reflection 82
• Reflection 83
• Reflection 84
• Reflection 85
• Reflection 86
• Reflection 87
• Reflection 88
• Reflection 89
• Reflection 90
• Reflection 91
• Reflection 92
• Reflection 93
• Reflection 94
• Reflection 95
• Reflection 96
• Reflection 97
• Reflection 98
• Reflection 99
• Reflection 100
• Reflection 101
• Reflection 102
• Reflection 103
• Reflection 104
• Reflection 105
• Reflection 106
• Reflection 107
• Reflection 108
• Reflection 109
• Reflection 110
• Acknowledgments
• List of Topics
• Your Own Reflections