Managing Difficult People

A Survival Guide For Handling Any Employee

Marilyn Pincus

• Publisher: Adams Media
• Year: 2004
• Print ISBN: 9781593371869
• eBook ISBN: 9781605508542
• Topic: Business
• Subtopic: Business General
• Index: Business

Don't Let Negaholics Rule Your Workplace!

As a manager, you're sandwiched between the pressure of senior executives and the demands of your own staff memebers. The last thing you need is an unruly employee whose chronic "negaholic" attitude upsets your office applecart and affects the morale of your entire staff.

Managing Difficult People gives you the tools you need to cope with all kinds of difficult employees. From sneaky slackers to resident office tormentors, this handy guide cuts to the chase, helping you identify and deal with specific personality types such as The Bully, The Complainer or Whiner, The Procrastinator, The Know-It-All, The Silent Type, The Social Butterfly, The "No People Skills" Person, The Rookie, The Overly Sensitive Person, and The Manipulator.

1 NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR IN THE WORKPLACE

 

MANAGERS' ATTITUDES AFFECT EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE

NEGATIVE EMPLOYEES AFFECT everyone around them with their “downer” attitudes. Their behavior poisons the work environment. No wonder absenteeism escalates, employee retention is seriously challenged, and productivity ratchets downward. And when customers are repeatedly subjected to negative employees, it's only a matter of time before they take their business elsewhere. Nothing favorable results from permitting negative employees to spew their cynicism into the office environment. Once you focus on how detrimental these people can be to your department's success you'll want to raise your antennae to detect this behavior with dispatch.

MAKING THE NECESSARY DISTINCTIONS

It's important to remember there are times when everyone — you included — behaves as though storm clouds are everywhere. Worries about an ailing parent, a friend's divorce, or a rebellious teenager can take the bounce out of anyone's step. Likewise, workplace challenges such as learning to operate a new computer program or tackling an assignment with different people sometimes impacts behavior. (These are the times when others think, “He's just not himself, lately.”)

It takes an observant manager to make distinctions. You won't use the same strategies with employees who are going through a difficult period as you will with employees who are chronically difficult. That's not to say that some actions won't be recommended. Still, these folks will predictably return to “normal” when their concerns pass. The behavior of a truly negative employee is typical, however, and it won't change. At least not without good reason, and it behooves you to find a way to make that happen.

SETTING REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

Beware of false expectations. As a manager, you're in the driver's seat and, like it or not, you're going to have to deal with problem employees. Take a hypothetical employee named Jones, for instance, who is a chronic pessimist. Maybe you keep telling yourself things like, “I'll figure out how to get Jones to see the glass is half-full,” or “All he needs are some pats on the back. I'll send him a note and praise his work in front of others.” Beware of making promises to yourself that you can't keep — you'll undermine your performance.

After repeated attempts to get Jones to drop his negative remarks and obnoxious behavior you might be ready to toss up your hands and surrender. Maybe if you ignore the problem, it will go away. So you tell yourself, “I can't give Jones and his nasty ways any more of my attention.” This is certainly an option. But Jones won't change. If you think you can ignore him without suffering the consequences, you're entertaining false expectations.

Maybe the Jones problem won't be solved unless you fire him. That's an option, too, and it's discussed later in this book. But what if, for example, Jones and his actuarial skills are valuable to the organization? Or what if the Chairman of the Board, as a favor to someone, hired Jones? Technically speaking you can fire him, but practically speaking you've got to live with him.

If you map out a plan for dealing with Jones and don't count on overnight miracles, you're on solid ground. Can you map out a plan without obtaining new information? You might want to seek input from colleagues. You're probably going to plug in some strategies you'll find in this book. Help is available, and that's a comforting notion. Still, when you try something new and different you're heading into unknown territory and, thus, you are more vulnerable. Recognize that a trial-and-error period is necessary and you won't doubt your leadership abilities. Maintain reasonable expectations and keep your good humor intact.

This book offers tips, strategies, and methods you can use or adapt. At the same time, be on the lookout for additional material that supports you in this goal. (For example: The Everything® Coaching and Mentoring Book by Nicholas Nigro or The Everything® Leadership Book by Bob Adams.)

A MANAGER'S ATTITUDE INFLUENCES OUTCOME

Attitudes are contagious, so make sure you have one that's worth catching. Prepare yourself to manage for success:

• Sustain a positive outlook. Cultivate a can-do spirit, and you will be an inspiration to employees. And, when that's a tall order, fake it until you make it!

• Be known as a fair person. Employees want to be treated fairly, and you must take the necessary steps to make sure they feel that is the case.

• Keep an eye on morale. Morale at the workplace can be affected positively or negatively by an incident that, although it might seem insignificant to you, might be very important to your employees. A contented group of employees will do more and better work than an unhappy group.

• Set an example. If you want your employees to work hard and succeed, then set an example by doing so yourself. Be a spectacular role model!

• Take responsibility for your actions. If something goes wrong and it's your fault, step up to the plate and acknowledge whatever it is that went wrong and why.

• Maintain your sense of humor. Don't take yourself too seriously, and don't be in such a hurry that you haven't got time to tell or listen to a positive (tasteful) story. Studies suggest laughter and good humor go a long way in helping employees function well in the workplace.

• Acknowledge good work through praise. Everyone wants to hear “well done” now and then, so make sure you acknowledge good work. Say it privately and say it within earshot of others, too.

• Give credit for ideas. If one of your employees comes up with a great idea, by all means give that person the credit he or she deserves. Don't allow anyone to take an employee's idea and pass it off as his own. (Managers are sometimes accused of stealing an employee's idea; be scrupulous about avoiding even a hint of such a thing.)

Beyond the basic guidelines listed above, a good manager must possess other positive qualities:

• Understanding: Conventional wisdom dictates that you walk in someone else's shoes before you judge her. Keep that in mind when dealing with people in the workplace.

• Good communication skills: Keep your communication skills in good working order. You might want to join speaking organizations to learn how to be a better public speaker. But don't stop there. You communicate when you send a memo, write e-mail, and lead a meeting. There's no such thing as being a “perfect” communicator. An excellent manager will view the pursuit of this art as a work in progress.

• Strong listening skills: When was the last time you really listened to someone when he was talking to you? Did you give him your full, undivided attention, or was your mind thinking about five other different things? And when you are listening, do you really know what it is people are trying to tell you? (You might have to ask probing questions in order to get the message.)

• Leadership: Employees need good leaders to help guide them, so make sure your leadership skills are enviable and on-duty.

• Common sense: You'll need more than your fair share if you expect to be a good manager of people. Some managers toss common sense out the window and then foolishly wonder what happened when things go wrong.

• Honesty: Be honest and ethical in all of your business dealings — period!

• A desire to encourage: Encouragement is different than praise. Encouragement helps someone who hasn't yet achieved the goal. Employees need your input and encouragement from time to time in order to be successful, so be prepared to fill that role.

What's Your People Style?

Before you can analyze the personality styles and people skills of the employees you manage, you should first learn a little bit about your own. Answer “yes” or “no” to the following questions:

1. I enjoy meeting new people and am at ease in new social situations.
2. People tell me I have a great sense of humor.
3. I always look for the best in people.
4. I believe that attitude is important in everyone.
5. I lead by example.
6. People feel they can trust me.
7. I don't mind listening to people's problems.
8. I consider myself a fair supervisor.
9. People are a company's biggest and best asset.
10. People should always take responsibility for their actions.

If you answered “yes” to all ten statements, congratulations — you're probably an excellent “people person.”If you said “no” to four or more statements, then you might need to brush up on your people skills. (Consider attending seminars or reading more books on the topic. Everyday Business Etiquette, 1st Books Library, September 2003, is one such recommended title.)

• An ability to delegate: Be ready to give responsibility to others when necessary. Learn how to monitor progress without encroaching on their assignments. Learn what you can from books, seminars, and other resources that concentrate on the art of delegation.

• Solid organizational skills: While some people thrive on chaos, most people prefer to work in an organized environment. Do you consider yourself organized? If not, take necessary steps to fine-tune these skills.

• Creativity: Among other things, creativity will help you to solve problems by coming up with more than one solution to the same challenge. If at first you don't succeed, tweak your approach.

Managing people can be challenging, but at the same time it can be fulfilling and rewarding, both for you and for the company's bottom line.

THE POWER OF MOTIVATION

Motivation is a powerful tool when you know how to use it properly. Have you ever given any thought to what actually motivates an employee to excel? In other words, why do some employees seem as if they are always putting in the extra effort, going the extra mile to get their jobs done, while other employees barely scrape by? The reason employees — or any people, for that matter — behave in a particular way is considered to be a motive. It's your job to help provide motives for your employees to want to do their very best.

MASLOW'S THEORY OF THE HIERARCHY OF NEEDS

Through the years, there have been many explanations as to what really motivates people. Psychologist Abraham Maslow developed one of the more popular theories. Maslow called it, his hierarchy of needs. He determined that when one level of a person's needs is satisfied, then the next level has the greatest influence on that person's behavior. This theory has helped many business owners and managers gain a better understanding of employees' workplace behavior. The levels are as follows:

• Physiological needs must be met: includes food, water, air, rest, and shelter.

• Safety needs must be met: includes protection from physical harm and freedom from fear of deprivation.

• Social needs must be met: includes friendships, affection, and acceptance.

• Esteem needs must be met: includes self-respect, respect of others, recognition, and achievement.

• Self-actualization needs must be met: includes a person's realization of individual potential, creative talents, and personal future fulfillment.

MEETING EMPLOYEES' NEEDS

If you were to use Maslow's theory, how would it compare to how you are meeting the needs of your employees? Let's look at each one and see how you can use them to help motivate your workers.

1. Hopefully, you are providing a working environment that meets all of your employees' physiological needs. It doesn't take much to provide a cafeteria or lunchroom, along with adequate restroom facilities.
2. The safety is...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Dedication
• Acknowledgments
• Contents
• Introduction
• 1 Negative Behavior in the Workplace
• Managers' Attitudes Affect Employee Performance
• What's a “negaholic,” and why Should i Care?
• Assessing the Many Different Behaviors
• 2 Negaholics Exposed
• The Bully
• The Complainer or Whiner
• The Procrastinator
• The Know-it-all
• The Silent Type
• The Social Butterfly
• The “no People Skills” Person
• The Rookie
• The Overly Sensitive Person
• The Manipulator
• 3 Communication: The Upside and the Downside
• Master the Fine Art of Effective Communication
• Group Dynamics and Conflict Resolution
• The Last Resort: Disciplinary Action and Termination
• Powerful Communication Skills Stay with you
• About the Author
• Copyright