150 Movies You Should Die Before You See
eBook - ePub

150 Movies You Should Die Before You See

  1. 304 pages
  2. English
  3. ePUB (mobile friendly)
  4. Available on iOS & Android
eBook - ePub

150 Movies You Should Die Before You See

About this book

Sure, everyone's seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. But as you'll learn in this shockingly tasteless collection of great awful movies, there's so much more to the world of truly bad film. You'll dive into the steaming swamp of such disastrously delicious movies as:
  • Young Hannah, Queen of the Vampires
  • Puppet Master versus Demonic Toys
  • Creature with the Atom Brain
  • Cannibal Holocaust
  • Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter
For each movie, film buff and reviewer Steve Miller includes a list of principal cast, director, producer, a plot overview, why the movie sucked, a rating, choice quotes, interesting trivia, and a quiz.

For anyone who's ever enjoyed awful movies, this is the book to have on the couch, along with the popcorn, as the opening credits flash on the screen for Gingerdead Men 2: The Passion of the Crust.

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Yes, you can access 150 Movies You Should Die Before You See by Steve Miller in PDF and/or ePUB format, as well as other popular books in Media & Performing Arts & Film & Video. We have over one million books available in our catalogue for you to explore.

Information

CHAPTER ONE

EXHIBITS IN THE BAD MOVIE MUSEUM

If you ask a film buff to name five bad movies, at least one of the following is likely to be on his or her list. Some are “so bad they're good,” while others are, well, just plain bad.

BATTLEFIELD EARTH: A SAGA OF THE YEAR 3000
Franchise Pictures/Morgan Creek Productions/Warner Bros., 2000

PRODUCERS Jonathan D. Krane, Ellie Samaha, and John Travolta
WRITERS Corey Mandell and J. D. Shapiro (based on a novel by L. Ron Hubbard)
DIRECTOR Roger Christian
STARS John Travolta (Terl), Barry Pepper (Jonnie Goodboy Tyler), and Forest Whitaker (Ker)
For 1,000 years, the monstrous aliens known as Psychlos have ruled Earth, plundering its natural resources and slowly driving humanity ever closer to extinction. Now, the arrogance and greed of embittered Psychlo security chief Terl (Travolta) and the unbreakable spirit of a young man named Jonnie Goodboy Tyler (Pepper) will clash and give humanity one last chance for survival. It's the Final Battle, and one species will live while another will die.
Why It Sucks
Battlefield Earth is very much like the L. Ron Hubbard novel it's based on. It's waaaay too long, and the longer it drags on, the more ridiculous it becomes. The only way to get through this film is to park your brain at the door, because the story starts out silly and by the time the climactic battle rolls around it's galloped all the way into drooling blather. Even the battle scenes can't help the movie get over trying to stretch 70 minutes of moderate excitement into 120 minutes. And the whole thing is punctuated by bad special-effect shots, characters running about aimlessly, and John Travolta in dreadlocks.
Thumbs Down Rating:
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The Crappies
The Worst Acting Award goes to… John Travolta, for the bizarre, pseudo-British, ever-shifting accent that poses a serious challenge to Madonna in the Worst Fake Accent Ever competition. (Is this what Psychlos sound like in English?)
And the Worst Writing Logic Award goes to … Corey Mandell and J. D. Shapiro, with a nod to L. Ron Hubbard for the original novel. The U.S. Army base at Fort Hood has flight simulators and Harrier fighter planes that after 1,000 years of disuse are functioning and filled with useable fuel? Uh huh.
They Really Said It!
Terl: Kill all man-animals!
Betcha Didn't Know
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The film was intended to be the first of two, but plans for the sequel were scrapped following its poor performance.
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Battlefield Earth was reported to have cost $73 million to make, but only grossed some $22 million at the U.S. box office. In truth, the film only cost $44 million, but production company Franchise Pictures inflated the budget in an attempt to defraud investors. They were successfully sued, ordered to pay $121 million in damages, and went bankrupt.

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Trivia Quiz

What tagline was often used during the movie's promotion?
A: It's the Year 3000 and Humans Are the Endangered Species.
B: From the Mind of Sci-Fi Legend L. Ron Hubbard
C: Go for the Gold on Battlefield Earth!
D: Prepare to Go Psychlo
Answer: D. Prepare to Go Psychlo. (Other taglines for the film were “Prepare for Battle” and “Take Back the Planet.”)

BRIDE OF THE MONSTER (AKA “BRIDE OF THE ATOM”)
Rolling M. Productions, 1955

PRODUCER Edward D. Wood Jr.
WRITER Edward D. Wood Jr.
DIRECTOR Edward D. Wood Jr.
STARS Bela Lugosi (Dr. Eric Vornoff), Loretta King (Janet Lawton), Tor Johnson (Lobo), Tony McCoy (Lt. Dick Craig), Harvey B. Dunn (Capt. Tom Robbins), Paul Marco (Officer Kelton), and George Becwar (Prof. Vladimir Strowski)
A mad scientist (Lugosi) captures those who venture too close to his dilapidated house and subjects them to weird experiments intended to create a new race of radioactive supermen. When he captures a nosy female tabloid reporter (King), can it be long before his simpleminded assistant (Johnson) falls in love with her?
Why It Sucks
Ed Wood is sometimes characterized as the worst director who ever lived, and Bride of the Monster is the quintessential Ed Wood movie. It's full of strange characters badly acted, situations that are minimally explained, sets that are shoddily made … almost everything about it is supremely dreadful. The film reaches its nadir when Bela Lugosi is turned into an atomic monster via the use of platform shoes (yes, you read that correctly). (Tor Johnson looks sort of like Shrek, but Wood couldn't help that.)
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Thumbs Down Rating:
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The Crappies
The Weirdest Character Award goes to … The bird-loving police captain Harvey Dunn, who is more interested in discussing his pet exotic birds than the murders and missing-person cases.
And the Lamest Prop Award goes to … The atomic-monstermaking contraption in Dr. Vornoff's lab, key components of which are darkroom equipment and the metal salad bowl worn on the head of those subjected to Dr. Vornoff's evil experiments.
They Really Said It!
Janet: When did I tell you my name?
Dr. Vornoff: You didn't. But since you were unconscious, I took the liberty of looking into your purse.
Betcha Didn't Know
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T...

Table of contents

  1. Cover Page
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. CONTENTS
  5. Introduction
  6. Chapter One. Exhibits in the Bad Movie Museum
  7. Chapter Two. Big Budget Bombs
  8. Chapter Three. Creaky Classics
  9. Chapter Four. Freaky Families
  10. Chapter Five. Gory, Gorier, Goriest
  11. Chapter Six. Happy Holidays!
  12. Chapter Seven. Inauspicious Beginnings
  13. Chapter Eight. It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time
  14. Chapter Nine. Kinda-Sorta Based on the Book
  15. Chapter Ten. Monstrous Monster Movies
  16. Chapter Eleven. Mysteries of the Orient
  17. Chapter Twelve. Independent Oddities
  18. Chapter Thirteen. Strange Superheroes
  19. Chapter Fourteen. Awful Aliens
  20. Chapter Fifteen. Test Your Stamina