November 2, 2004
Diyala Province
Our last mission before Fallujah
Seven months later, by the light of a full moon, we wade through chest-high sewage. We inch along, arms above our heads to hold our weapons out of the muck. The sludge that bathes us is exquisitely rank. Gnats swarm. Mosquitoes feast and flies crawl. If my first day in the army had been like this, Iâd have gone AWOL.
Behind me, I can sense my men are pissed off. We have a mission, but some of them question it. Whatâs beyond question is the fact that Iâve made them come out here in the middle of the night to wade through a trench of human excrement. I glance behind me just in time to see Piotr Sucholas nearly take a header into the filth. John Ruiz slops an arm out of the sewage and catches Sucholas before he goes under. The two of them spit funk out of their mouths, then make eye contact with me for a nanosecond.
Part of me feels guilty for their plight. Knowing theyâre angry with me makes it even worse. Call that my human side. At the same, the professional in me, the NCO side of my brain, gives exactly two-fifths of a fuck about how my men feel. This inner conflict doesnât usually last. The NCO in me beats the ever-loving shit out of my human side. The mission is what counts.
But tonight I just canât seem to help myself.
Voice barely a whisper, I ask, âHey, you guys alright?â
Ruiz and Sucholas nod. So does Hugh Hall who is next to Ruiz.
âPull your nuts out. You might just die at the end of this bitch.â
They stare at me without expression, streaks of shit water running down their faces. Sucholas spits again, but does so quietly. They get the point.
The fact that my men donât say a word in response shows discipline. They are angry and miserable, but they donât display it. We both play the game, soldiers and NCOs. Iâm proud of their discipline, yet at the same time I am hyperalert for the first one to break the rules.
I have pushed my squad so hard in the ten months weâve been in Iraq, the men must despise me. Back at base, there is a long-standing rumor of a sock full of five-dollar bills the platoon has collected, a little wager over which of their three leading sergeants will get fragged first: Fitts, Cantrell, or me.
We push along the trench. We have almost two more kilometers to go. The moonlight leads the way; it is so bright, we donât bother with our night-vision goggles. We slop our way slowly toward a large pipe that crosses the sewer trench right at head level. It is old and rusted and looks unstable. I turn around and motion to Staff Sergeant Mike Smith. Smitty edges past me in the trench and swings a leg up onto the pipe.
A metallic groan echoes through the night. Smitty tries to shift his weight and the pipe whines in protest. It starts to buckle, and a good-sized chunk falls off, leaving a gaping hole in one side. The palm groves around us are full of chained watchdogsâthe hajji version of an ADT security system. They hear the noise and bark viciously in response. The barking grows frantic. Smitty eases off the broken pipe. We canât get over it, and now we risk detection, thanks to the dogs. The whole squad freezes. I grow tense. The mission is on the line here.
We are after Ayub Ali again, the terror-for-hire arms broker who has sewn so much misery in the Diyala Province since the Shia uprising began in April. When we first arrived in country, we had no idea who he was. Gradually, through the summer, we picked up bits of intelligence that suggested there was a network providing weapons and explosives to both the Mahdi militia and the Sunni insurgents. Ayub Ali sits atop this shadowy group.
Weâve tried to catch him several times already, but his luck ran strong and he evaded us at every turn. The more I learn about him, the more I want him dead. Heâs no ideologue or jihadist, heâs just a criminal selling the tools of death to the highest bidder. He helps blow up women and children for profit. Taking Ali down will save countless innocent lives.
Tonight, we are on a sneak-and-peak mission to find his latest hideout. Intelligence reports suggest Ali has moved into a horse farm in the countryside outside Muqdadiyah. Our job is to get as close as we can, get a good look at the place, and confirm heâs there. The shit trench offered the surest way to approach undetected by those vicious mutts.
Now stuck at the pipe crossing our trench, we face the possibility of blowing the op altogether. In the satellite photos I received before the mission, this pipe could not be seen. Now I have to act like I expected it. We cannot backtrack. If we do, it will be the admission of a mistake, and NCOs never make mistakes. We lie like professionals to protect that image of infallibility because that is what cements us to our men.
If they believe in you and the example you set, these men will do whatever is asked of them. This connection between soldiers is a deep bond. It is the root of what it means to be an infantryman. In this cruel here and now, it is what gives my life value and meaning. That doesnât mean my men wonât despise me. The nature of soldiering brings ultra-intensity to every emotion, especially in combat. We love, hate, and respect one another all at the same time, because the alternative is the bland oblivion of death.
I look at the pipe and utter a silent curse. The men are going to have to take a bath. It is the only way to continue the mission.
I had handpicked these men for this mission. I chose Specialist Lance Ohle for his mastery of the SAW light machine gun. In a firefight, Ohle on his SAW is an artist at work. He talks like a gangsta rapper but wears cowboy hats and listens to Metallica. Neither the Army nor any of those other worlds he has occupied has prepared him for this. He moans a protest about the breaststroke confronting us.
âOh. Oohh.â
âShut the fuck up,â Hugh Hall hisses.
Staff Sergeant Mike Smith stands beside me. Heâs our land navigation guru, though heâs usually a Bradley commander, not a dismount. I nod to him and point downward, and he grimaces before taking a deep breath. An instant later, he descends into the sewage and swings around the bottom of the pipe. I hear him break the surface on the other side and exhale. Somebody hands him his weapon.
Sergeant Hall goes next. He doesnât hesitate, and Iâm not surprised. I consider him one of the best soldiers in Alpha Company. He dips under the filth and pops back up on the far side of the pipe. The moonlight betrays Hallâs misery. Heâs slick with sewage; the ochre slime drips from his Kevlar. John Ruiz sees his condition but doesnât flinch. He ducks under the pipe and breaks the surface next to Hall a second later.
Iâm next. I close my eyes and hold my nose. Down into the filth I go, feeling my way under the pipe. Then Iâm out the other side. Misa, Sucholas, and Sergeant Charles Knapp follow me.
We continue along the trench, more concerned about watchdogs than gunfire. Finally, we come to a stretch of palm grove that seems to be free of hajji dogs. We crawl out of the sewage and move through the grove. By now, it is 0300, and the nightâs chill has set in. Soaked to the bone, we start to shiver. I almost wish I was back in the shit trench. It was warmer.
We creep to a barn about 350 meters from Aliâs main compound. The squad sweeps through it, hoping to find somebody to detain, but itâs empty. We maneuver toward the compound. Our job is to get within view of the place, to study its layout and defenses. If possible, battalion wants us to try and flush people from the compound. If they bolt in vehicles, we can call helicopters down to follow them and others will trap them with Bradleys. Taking down these guys on the road while theyâre inside their cars will be easier than storming a fortified and defended compound.
On our bellies, we snake forward, bodies still shivering from the cold night air. Weâre just about to reach a good vantage point a hundred meters from the compound when the roar of engines shatters the stillness of the night. The cacophony grows deafening. Around us, the guard dogs howl with rage. I look over my shoulder in time to see a pair of Blackhawk helicopters thunder right over us. They hug the ground, then hover over the compound.
I hear men shouting in Arabic. A shaft of light spears the night, then another. Aliâs guards are turning on searchlights. Soon the entire compound is ablaze, and the searchlights probe around us.
The birds have inadvertently compromised our mission. Cursing, we pull back to the barn, then dash into the palm grove. Behind us, the compound is fully alerted now. The guard dogs growl. The searchlights snoop. We cannot stick around. The Blackhawks dip and slide overhead. Their spinning rotors blast the buildings with mini-hurricanes of wind and dust. What was silence is now total chaos.
We hike the four kilometers back to our Brads without a word between us. This had been a perfect op until it was ruined by miscommunication with a pair of helo pilots. Stinking, frustrated, and ill-tempered, we mount up into our vehicles. We know this was our last shot at finding Ali. This mission is our swan song in the province.
Our unit is set to head out to Fallujah, a city of about 350,000 in the restive Anbar Province, along the Euphrates River. Fallujah has been under total insurgent control since April, when Operation Vigilant Resolve, a Marine offensive planned in response to the ghastly and well-publicized hanging of four U.S. contractors, was canceled for political reasons. The jarheads just loved that. All they wanted to do was finish the insurgents off once and for all. Marines. They may all be double-barreled and single-helixed. They may just be the worst historical revisionists of all time. But at their core they are fiercely proud and spoil for an unfair fight. God love âem all.
In two days, Diyalaâs miseries will be behind usâthe IEDs on the local highway, the Mahdi militia around Muqdadiyah, and the house-to-house firefights downtown. We canât yet know how much weâll miss them. We are leaving the good life, and heading into the mother of all city battles.
I lean back against the Bradleyâs bulkhead, my uniform still wet. My boys shiver violently from the cold. A few wipe their faces with rags. Piotr Sucholas, my new Bravo Team Leader, sits next me, weapon between his legs, barrel touching the Bradâs floorboards. I half expect for him to start riffing on the evils of President Bush again. Sucholas is our platoon liberal. He fell in love with Michael Moore after watching a bootlegged DVD ofFahrenheit 9/11. Fortunately, his flaky suspicions that President Bush is out to conquer the world donât have the least effect on his willingness to do battle. When the shooting starts, he thinks only of killing the other guys and saving his men. Thatâs why I love Piotr Sucholas.
Now he sits quietly next to me. The news that we are going to Fallujah has made everyone introspective. Sucholas has ice water for blood. In a fight, he is utterly calm, but even he is uneasy at the thought of what we will soon face.
The Brads carry us back to base. We pile out and head for our isolated, three-story barracks building. From where we live, itâs a twenty-five minute walk just to reach a telephone. The battalion operations center is over a kilometer away. Even the former Iraqi Army morgue that serves as our chow hall is half a kilometer from us.
Our uniforms are filthy. Cleaning them is no easy chore. We have a couple of Iraqi washing machines, but we currently donât have electricity in our building. Weâll have to do our wash by hand. Fitts and I order the men to round up as many spray bottles of Simple Green cleaner as they can find. We have no running water either, so the shower room on the first floor of our barracks serves mainly as a storage area.
In the darkness, we peel off our filthy uniforms and get to work. Soon, weâre all freezing cold and shaking uncontrollably as we scrub our uniforms and wash them with bottled water. When theyâre as clean as we can manage, we take bottled-water showers and lather up with the leftover Simple Green. The muck of the sewage trench dribbles off us as the frigid water hits our bodies. It takes us until dawn to smell semihuman again.
Once my squad is squared away, I collapse into my cot in hopes of a quick catnap. Sleep does not come easily, despite my fatigue. My mind refuses to shut off.
Fallujah.
When I first learned we will be redeployed to Fallujah, I pumped my fist and shouted with excitement.Finally. Weâd been stuck in the backwater of the war, chasing shitheads like Ayub Ali across palm and dale without luck. Weâd missed out on the Battle of Najaf in August that wiped hundreds of Mahdi militiamen and crippled al-Sadrâs street armyâat least for the moment. Perhaps now weâll have a chance to take part in something truly decisive. My adrenaline is already flowing.
Later that morning, we head out of the barracks to blow up our own equipment. Intelligence reports tell us that the defenders of Fallujah, who may number as many as three thousand Sunni and foreign fighters, are heavily armedâwith our own weapons. Aside from the standard AK-47s, PKM machine guns, and rocket-propelled grenades, the Sunnis and foreign fighters in the city have acquired American weapons, body armor, uniforms, and Kevlar helmets. Theyâve also used stolen Texas barriers to fortify the roads leading into Fallujah. Texas barriers are five-ton, reinforced concrete barricades that will hamper the movements of our vehicles.
Weâre not ...