CHAPTER 1
Phone Call
When I lost my first Marine in Echo Company, I was thirty-six years old.
Weâd been battling in Ramadi, Iraq, in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2006. Echo Company was made up of 248 men. But they were my men. Each of them was my watch, my responsibility. I trained them hard hoping that it would protect each and every one of them from the dangers of combat. I knew it was impossible in reality. I knew in my head that Ramadi was a dangerous place. I had prepared myself for the inevitability of losing Marinesâor at least I thought I had. Now one had died, and it felt like a part of me had gone missing.
Corporal Dustin Libbyâtwenty-two years old from Maineâhad taken a fatal bullet during a grueling four-hour firefight in Ramadi. He had died fighting to protect his platoon. Our Company. My Company.
Libbyâs death hit me hard. It was almost incomprehensible to me to think about it. There was so much chaos that night. His death stunned us all, and when we heard the official reportâthe blur of fighting throughout the dark hours had distracted us from expressing any real emotions. But as the morning came, so did the reality that Libby was gone.
I was stationed at Camp Pendleton in Oceanside, California, when I met Libby before shoving off to Iraq. I was living in my office at the battalion command post and Libby, like the rest of the single Marines, was at the Bachelor Enlisted Quarters.
They tell us from day one as an officer that we should never have favorites, or at least not show that we have preferences in our unit. But I would be lying if I said Corporal Libby wasnât one of my favorites. He was one of many, I suppose.
He had a cool, nonchalant attitude about him, yet he exuded confidence well above his years. Libby was as even-tempered as they came. He wasnât timid in any endeavorâthis included engaging his superiors in conversation.
I showed up at the barracks late one evening. Libby stood on the catwalk leaning against the metal railing. He was a good-looking kid with blonde hairâwiry 160 pounds at five-ten. He was shirtless. I read the Old English style letters âUSMCâ tattooed across his stomach, about four inches and centered above his belly button. Tattoos were badges of pride that many Marines wore.
I had none.
Iâd come close on a couple of occasions as a lance corporalâdrunk and waving a fistful of cash at a local tattoo artist in Oceanside and both times denied service.
Libby politely struck up a conversation as I approached his room. Like British royalty asking me to sit down for tea, he had a beer at the ready and asked if I would care for one. I didnât decline.
It was times like those that my relationship with Libby developed. From then on, I always counted on his honesty, opinions, and loyalty to the Marines he led. His force of personality was something that made Libby indispensable to the men of his squad and made his leaders depend on him. When rounds are flying, they donât distinguish between rank, age, color, or religionâLibby understood this intrinsically. We were all brothers thrust into the chasm, and we took care of each other better than anyone else weâve ever known.
On that fateful night, Lance Corporals Jonathan Neris, Christopher Muscle, Jonathan Yenglin, and Hospitalman Nate âDocâ Dicks, sat with Corporal Libby in their room at Entry Control Point (ECP) 8, their battle position in the heart of central Ramadi. They were bullshitting and cracking jokes at each otherâs expense like most Marines do to kill time. Libby regaled his men with excerpts and quotes from his favorite movies, Hang âEm High and The Boondock Saints. They were interrupted when gunfire snapped against the walls. Their adrenaline surged.
Fourth Platoon was completely engaged in one of the most complex attacks weâd faced to date. They raced to the rooftop. A blaze of intense small arms fire lit the air. Deafening bursts from machine guns made it impossible to communicate. The battle raged on, and the Marines fought side by side. Neris caught Libby out of the corner of his eye. He heard Libby say, âIâm reloading my M-203.â But then Libby didnât come back up. He looked down and saw that Libby had fallen.
With rounds still smacking the walls of ECP 8, Neris took a knee in the middle of the roof. Tears came down his face, his chest heaved, and he tried to stifle the short audible gasps. He didnât want his squad to see him cry.
As the firefight wound down in the early morning hours, every Marine in 4th Platoon found out about the loss of Libby and began to feel it. The next day, I carried their pain and mine, and I moved about numb and willing myself to not break down. I couldnât because my Marines were looking to me for strength.
There is a formal process in the Marine Corps called the Casualty Assistance Calls Program (CACP). Select MarinesâCasualty Assistance Calls Officers (CACOs)âhave the unenviable job and the immense responsibility of being the first to officially notify family members of Marines killed in action (KIA). They arrive in formal blue dress uniforms and knock on front doors of family members, bearing the worst news anyone could ever getâor ever give. The CACO process had already been completed for Corporal Libby when I began to put pen to paper and started writing my letters of condolence to his mother, Geni, and his father, Judd.
Marine Corps officers get a minuscule amount of training on how to properly approach family members about the loss of their son or daughter. Normally, âtrainingâ involves a class or two with a homework assignment of writing a fictional letter. Iâve got a news flashâno class can teach the right protocol. To find the right words in real life is near impossible. Emotions run rampant at the death of a Marine who, hours before, stood next to you, fought beside you, was someone you knew at a personal levelâsomeone who became your brotherâsomeone who would have died for you.
But I knew I couldnât just write Libbyâs parents a canned letter of condolence.
He deserved better. His parents deserved a phone call.
In terms of time, Ramadi is eight hours ahead of Castle Hill, Maine, so it wasnât until late that night that I was able to call Libbyâs family via an Iridium satellite cell phone.
Everyone from the Echo Company headquarters staff was in the Tactical Operations Center (TOC) in our little corner of the battalion command center planning space. I told First Sergeant Thom Foster that I had to step out to make a phone call.
He looked at me with a face lined with deep wrinkles. Those around his mouth were set and grim. In a quiet voice, he said, âTake all the time you need, sir. I have everything covered for a while.â
Outside the TOC, darkness engulfed the area. Within the confines of Camp Corregidor, AM General High Mobility Multi-Purpose Wheeled Vehicles (HMMWVsâalso known as Humvees), generators, and pallets of supplies were laid out in no particular fashion. The M1-A1 tanks, however, were lined up in a nice neat row, twenty deep.
I found a place out of view from the soldiers and Marines. A Humvee sat parked in the shadows behind the TOC, so I set my helmet on the hood then placed my satellite phone next to it. Despite the cool night air, when I ripped open the Velcro closure on my body armor, musty steam instantly escaped. I rifled through my breast pocket. The dialing instructions for the phone and my CACO sheet with family notification phone numbers sat tucked inside.
I turned on the small red-lens Petzl helmet light strapped to my Kevlar so I could read the information. The papers were damp from my sweat, and I pushed the tiny power button of the phone on. The keypad and screen lit up with a greenish glow. My stomach began to knot tight as I dialed the number for Libbyâs mom.
As the phone rang, my throat tightened from nerves as a hundred thoughts of how this speech was going to sound ran through my head. I thought for sure she wouldnât even want to talk to me. I had no idea what to say to a mother who had lost her son. I thought that surely everything I had to say would sound so canned and insincere as if I was reading off a pre-written government script.
On the fifth ring, a frail-sounding, sweet voice came on the line.
âHello.â
Geni Libby. Corporal Dustin Libbyâs mother.
I introduced myself. âMrs. Libby, this is Captain Scott Huesing, your sonâs company commander and . . . â
My voice began to crack. I had to take a moment and find the words.
â . . . I canât tell you how truly sorry I am at the loss of Dustin.â
Tears came quickly to my eyes, and a lump rose in my throat as I uttered that first sentence. I had not felt that afraid to speak since I was a child and endured that uncontrollable terror of having to tell the truth after something bad happenedâI struggled with it.
I tried to imagine what Geni looked like as I spoke. I wondered what she was doing and if her family was around her at the time. I didnât expect it to be so hard, and I tried to hold back the pain, but I couldnât seem to get a grasp of my emotions. I knew she could hear it in my voice.
As the conversation continued, I tried evading some of her questions, but she pressed me for specific details about that night. She already knew that he had died from a single gunshot wound to the neck, having been told this by the CACO.
I gently tried to explain the events, including how I was in the Tactical Operations Center at Camp Corregidor when the call for the casualty evacuation (CASEVAC) came across the radio as we raced to her sonâs aid.
I told her that Dustin had fought bravely in the face of a tough, well-organized enemy, and that his actions saved the lives of countless Marines in his platoon before he was wounded. I told her how we rushed Dustin to the battalion aid station at the Combat Outpost in my Humvee.
âThank you for telling me the truth,â she said.
âDustin meant a lot to me,â I said. âHe was truly one of my favorites in Echo Company. I know there isnât anything he wouldnât do for his Marines.â
Geni was silent for a moment. âDustin loved bein...