Mission Accomplished! Or How We Won the War in Iraq

The Experts Speak

Christopher Cerf, Victor S. Navasky, Robert Grossman

• Publisher: Simon & Schuster
• Year: 2008
• Print ISBN: 9781416569930
• eBook ISBN: 9781416570257
• Topic: Politics & International Relations
• Subtopic: Politics
• Index: Politics & International Relations

Mission Accomplished! Or How We Won the War in Iraq is the definitive collection -- systematically categorized, indexed, and footnoted for your convenience -- of authoritative misinformation, disinformation, misunderstanding, miscalculation, egregious prognostication, boo-boos, and just plain lies, about the Iraq War.

"Never before has such a large and diverse group of experts been so unanimously in favor of a particular national policy as they were in the case of the U.S. invasion of Iraq," note Christopher Cerf and Victor Navasky, who, as co-founders of the Institute of Expertology, the nation's leading purveyor of expertise on expertise, were uniquely qualified to assemble this impressive collection. "In the face of such a consensus, we had no choice but to ask ourselves, 'Could the iron law of expertology -- the experts are never right -- be wrong?'"

At once an entertainment, a cautionary tale, a critique of mass media, a reference tool, and a postwar manifesto, Mission Accomplished! presents, as no book has before, the collective wisdom of all those who are presumed to know what they talking about on the subject of America's adventure in Iraq. As this hilarious, yet depressing, volume demonstrates, they don't.

From MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

"Major combat operations in Iraq have ended. In the battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed."

-- President George W. Bush, May 1, 2003

"[Insurgents] pose no strategic threat to the United States or to the Coalition Forces."

-- L. Paul Bremer III, Administrator of the Coalition Provisional Authority in Iraq, November 17, 2003

"Military action will not last more than a week."

-- Bill O'Reilly, The O'Reilly Factor, January 23, 2003

"I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah."

-- President George W. Bush, at a White House menorah lighting ceremony, December 10, 2001

VOLUME I

THE GATHERING STORM

From a marketing point of view, you don’t introduce new products in August.

Andrew Card, White House Chief of Staff, explaining why the Bush administration’s coordinated effort to convince the world of the urgent danger presented by Saddam Hussein’s WMDs had to wait until after Labor Day, September 7, 2002¹

WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION:
DOES SADDAM REALLY HAVE THEM?

(Only a Fool—or Possibly a Frenchman—Could Conclude Otherwise)

There is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction. There is no doubt he is amassing them to use against our friends, against our allies, and against us. And there is no doubt that his aggressive regional ambitions will lead him into future confrontations with his neighbors—confrontations that will involve both the weapons he has today, and the ones he will continue to develop with his oil wealth.

Vice President Dick Cheney, speech at the Veterans of Foreign Wars’ 103rd National Convention, August 26, 2002²

There is already a mountain of evidence that Saddam Hussein is gathering weapons [of mass destruction] for the purpose of using them. And adding additional information is like adding a foot to Mount Everest.

Ari Fleischer, White House Press Secretary, responding to a question about whether there was any “new evidence” that the threat from Saddam’s WMDs was “getting worse,” September 6, 2002³

[Saddam’s] regime has amassed large clandestine stocks of biological weapons, including anthrax and botulism toxin and possibly smallpox. His regime has amassed large clandestine stockpiles of chemical weapons, including VX and sarin and mustard gas.

Donald H. Rumsfeld, U.S. Secretary of Defense, September 18, 2002⁴

Some of these weapons are deployable within 45 minutes of an order to use them.

Tony Blair, Prime Minister of Great Britain, in the foreword to The Iraq Dossier, a document issued by the British government assessing the case for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, September 24, 2002⁵

[Saddam’s] facilities are mobile; they have been widely dispersed to a number of locations; [he has] vast underground networks and facilities, and sophisticated denial and deception techniques. In addition, [weapons and military facilities] have been placed in close proximity to hospitals, schools and mosques.

Donald H. Rumsfeld, U.S. Secretary of Defense, September 27, 2002⁶

They have chemical weapons; they have biological weapons; they’re trying to acquire nuclear weapons.

Colin Powell, U.S. Secretary of State, October 22, 2002⁷

President Bush has said Iraq has weapons of mass destruction; Tony Blair has said Iraq has weapons of mass destruction; Donald Rumsfeld has said Iraq has weapons of mass destruction; Richard Butler [former chairman of the U.N. weapons inspection organization in Iraq] has said they do; the United Nations has said they do; the experts have said they do. Iraq says they don’t. You can choose who you want to believe.

Ari Fleischer, White House Press Secretary, December 5, 2002⁸

Don’t worry, it’s a slam dunk!

George Tenet, Director of the Central Intelligence Agency, assuring President George W. Bush that the intelligence that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction was foolproof, December 21, 2002⁹

PROGRESS REPORT

FEBRUARY 7, 2003

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“IT IS NOT KNOWABLE IF FORCE WILL BE USED, BUT IF IT IS TO BE USED, IT IS NOT KNOWABLE HOW LONG THAT CONFLICT WOULD LAST. IT COULD LAST, YOU KNOW, SIX DAYS, SIX WEEKS. I DOUBT SIX MONTHS.”

SECRETARY OF DEFENSE DONALD RUMSFELD^P1

---

We have first-hand descriptions of biological weapons factories on wheels and on rails. Our conservative estimate is that Iraq today has a stockpile of between one hundred and five hundred tons of chemical weapons agents. . . . [Saddam] remains determined to acquire nuclear weapons. . . . What I want to bring [to] your attention today is the much more sinister nexus between Iraq and the Al Qaeda terrorist network....

Ladies and gentlemen, these are not assertions. These are facts, corroborated by many sources, some of them sources of the intelligence services of other countries.

Colin Powell, U.S. Secretary of State, offering “proof” to the UN Security Council to back up his claims of Iraq’s possession and surreptitious concealment of weapons of mass destruction and Iraq’s connection to Al Qaeda, February 5, 2003¹⁰

The evidence [Colin Pow...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication
• Epigraph
• Contents
• Introduction
• Prologue
• Volume I: The Gathering Storm
• Volume II: Their Finest Hour: America Readies Itself to Free The Iraqi People
• Volume III: The Grand Alliance
• Volume IV: The Hinge of Fate
• Volume V: Closing The Ring: The End Game?
• Volume VI: Triumph or Tragedy? America Looks Back at Five Years of Conflict
• Epilogue: Finally, An Expert Who Was Right
• Acknowledgments
• Notes
• Index
• The Institute of Expertology
• About The Authors
• Special Bonus Section: A Sneak Preview of Our Forthcoming Book, The Experts Speak About Iran