Manage your Boss

How to Build a Great Working Relationship

Bloomsbury Publishing

• Publisher: A&C Black Business Information and Development
• Year: 2009
• Print ISBN:
  9780713681475
• eBook ISBN:
  9781408134122
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Personal Success

Of all the working relationships you have with colleagues, the one with your boss is probably the most important. It can make the difference between looking forward to going to work in the morning, and actively dreading it.

Whether you already have a good relationship that you want to build on or a fraught one that you want to improve, this book can help. It offers practical and effective advice on how to survive personality clashes, delegate upwards, develop your influencing skills, and improve your chances of promotion.

1 Communicating assertively in the workplace

Your relationship with your boss is one of the most important working relationships you will have. A positive relationship will mean that you’re more likely to enjoy your work, stay motivated, and progress in your career. A bad relationship, on the other hand, can destroy your confidence and damage your career. This book shows you how to manage your boss, so you can each get the best from this crucial relationship.

Part of the challenge of any job is that you have to deal with a wide range of people, some of whom may be easier to work with than others. If you’re naturally shy, or are unsettled by people who adopt a confrontational approach, you might find that you need some help when it comes to managing a difficult boss. Or maybe your approach is over-assertive, bordering on the aggressive, and you clash with your boss as a result. Learning how to communicate assertively—but not aggressively—could be just what you need.

Assertiveness is an approach to communication that honours your choices as well as those of the person you are communicating with. It’s not about steamrollering your boss or colleague into submission—in fact, it’s about seeking and exchanging opinions, developing a full understanding of the issues, and negotiating a win–win situation: one that everyone can benefit from.

By adopting an assertive stance towards your boss you are showing that you aren’t a shrinking violet, there to be bullied—and, equally, that you’re proactive without being aggressive or demanding. Later chapters will explain different ways of gaining your boss’s respect and building a great relationship; but adopting an assertive approach is the first step towards ensuring that you and your boss set out on the right foot.

Step one: Choose the right approach

Becoming assertive is all about making choices that meet your needs and the needs of the situation. Sometimes it is appropriate to be passive: if you’re facing a snarling dog, for example, you might not want to provoke an attack by looking for a win–win situation! There may be other occasions when a more bracing approach is the answer. It may feel as though you’re being aggressive, but you’re actually displaying assertive behaviour, as you, rather than other people or situations, are in control of how you react.

After a lifetime of being the way they are, some people are daunted by the prospect of change. But if you don’t change what you do, you’ll never change what you get. All it takes to change is a decision. Once you’ve made that decision, you’ll naturally observe yourself in situations, notice what you do and don’t do well, and then you can try out new behaviours to see what works for you.

TOP TIP

If you feel you need some formal training, look
into some specially tailored courses so that
you can try out some approaches before
taking on your manager in a ‘live’ situation.
This sort of thing takes practice, so don’t
pressurise yourself even more by thinking
you’ll ‘just know’ what to do—get some
help if you feel you need it.

Step two: Project a positive image

Use ‘winning’ language. Rather than saying ‘I always come off worst!’ say ‘I’ve learned a great deal from doing lots of different things in my career. I’m now ready to move on and give my new job all I’ve got’. This is the beginning of taking control in your life.

Visualise what you wish to become, make the image as real as possible, and feel the sensation of being in control. Perhaps there have been moments in your life when you naturally felt like this, a time when you have excelled. Recapture that moment and ‘live’ it again. Imagine how it would be if you felt like that in other areas of your life. Determine to make this your goal and recall this powerful image or feeling when you are getting disheartened. It will re-energise you and keep you on track.

TOP TIP

If you’re not very tall, it’s easy to think you
can’t have presence because people will
overlook you. Many successful people
in all areas of life are physically quite
small, though. Adopting an assertive
communication style and body language
has the effect of making you look
more imposing. Assume you have
impact; visualise it, feel it, breathe it.

Step three: Encour...

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Table of Contents
• How well do you manage your boss?
• 1 Communicating assertively in the workplace
• 2 Developing your influencing skills
• 3 Organising your time
• 4 Delegating upwards
• 5 Surviving personality clashes
• 6 Working for someone younger than you
• 7 Working with mentors
• 8 Making yourself promotable
• Where to find more help