Deal with Difficult People

How to Cope with Tricky Situations and People

Bloomsbury Publishing

• Publisher: A&C Black Business Information and Development
• Year: 2010
• eBook ISBN: 9781408134917
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Careers

While we'd all like a quiet life, there are some situations that can't be ignored - a survey by Staffordshire University Business School estimated that 53% of us will be bullied at work at some point during our working life. In offices, workplace bullying is on the rise and discrimination is commonplace. Key customers are ever more demanding, won't take no for an answer and aren't afraid to tell you so.

This fully revised and updated Steps to Success title offers solutions and step-by-step advice on a wide range of contemporary issues, from how to defuse tense situations, to where to turn if you think you are being discriminated against, to stepping in to help others.

1 Handling office politics

Life would be wonderful if you could work in an office without worrying about other people and what they’re up to. But everyone has a network of relationships throughout the organisation, and if you don’t handle them carefully, you could be heading for an office nightmare.

You don’t have to work somewhere long to work out whether or not is has a ‘political’ culture. In these organisations, who you know tends to matter more than what you know. Friendships and casual conversations take on a new significance—one wrong word to the wrong person could end up scuppering that promotion.

The context in which people have come to know each other is also important in a ‘political’ culture, as that can imply certain kinds of loyalty. Family, school, or social networks that intrude into professional territory can embroil people in all sorts of Machiavellian manoeuvrings that eventually create a politically charged workplace. If you find yourself in this sort of minefield, this chapter offers advice on how to pick your way through. It also suggests ways for managers to avoid and discourage ‘politicking’.

Step one: Watch for signs of office politics

Politics plays a part in all organisations; it is an inevitable effect of putting human beings together in some sort of hierarchical arrangement. Indicators of office politics are often fairly easy to pick up—just hang around near the kettle, water cooler, or canteen in any organisation.

Listen out for clues about how the business works under the surface. Perhaps you might hear comments from people who have been passed over for promotion in favour of the recruiting manager’s former golf partner.

Watch out for those who succeed by publicly supporting their boss, or by ensuring that they are always in the right place at the right time. Such successes again indicate that hidden agendas may be at play.

TOP TIP

If you’re already embroiled in a political
situation, it’s important to go through the
correct channels to avoid compromising
yourself further. Explain what has happened
to your supervisor or manager. If the political
situation involves your boss, you may want
to approach your human resources (HR)
department, if you have one, to ask their
advice about how to proceed.

Step two: Ensure your own survival

Self-preservation is always desirable, but don’t use political dirty tricks to survive, whatever your level of responsibility— they will only create new nightmares. If your organisation is rife with politics, you can survive by following some simple rules.

Observe the organisation’s political style without getting involved until you’re sure that you know what’s going on. You may have started to notice coincidences or inconsistencies. Bide your time and watch the process so that you can begin to understand what the patterns and motivations are.

Keep your own counsel during this period and work according to your own values; don’t try to change your values to match those of the organisation; under pressure, your own values will reassert themselves forcefully. Remember that you just can’t please everyone all the time, so use your own integrity to make decisions.

Build a network of trusted allies. During your observation phase you will have identified who these people could be. It’s also a good idea to build a network outside the organisation to create options and opportunities for yourself. This will take the focus off work for a while and gives you time to reconfirm or realign your values.

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Male networks have controlled the power in
businesses for hundreds of years and they are
almost impenetrable. If you are a woman in a
man’s world, you may find it helpful to find a
mentor (male or female) inside or outside the
business, who will champion you and look
out for information and opportunities for you.
Build your relationships carefully and find
ways to contribute your skills and ideas that
will be valued by your male colleagues. Don’t
let them take advantage of your talents,
though; follow up and ask for feedback.
In this way, you will build their respect
and find a tenable position amongst them.

Expose other people’s politically motivated behaviour. When colleagues say one thing and do another, or seem to be sabotaging your decisions or work relationships, use your assertiveness skills to challenge their motivation: ‘You seem to be unhappy with the decisions I’ve made; would you like to discuss them?’ They will either have to deny your assertion or confront it, but at least the issue will be out in the open.

Find a mentor with whom you can discuss your observations and concerns. You may gain a deeper understanding of the political processes at work and some insight into how you can manage these more effectively.

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If you’re in a large organisation ...

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Table of Contents
• 1 Handling office politics
• 2 Coping with a difficult boss
• 3 Dealing with bullying or harassment
• 4 Dealing with discrimination against you
• 5 Preventing discrimination
• 6 Managing addictive behaviour
• 7 Managing poor performance
• 8 Thinking around problems
• Where to find more help