Managing the Unmanageable

How to Motivate Even the Most Unruly Employee

Anne Loehr, Jezra Kaye

• Publisher: Career Press
• Year: 2011
• Print ISBN: 9781601631619
• eBook ISBN: 9781601636652
• Topic: Business
• Subtopic: Human Resource Management
• Index: Business

Who changed the rules of business?

It's a different game now. In an increasingly globally diverse workforce, it's vitally important that leaders understand their team inside and out. This takes a new toolbox of skills for the 21st century.

Today you need winning strategies to avoid the costly pitfalls of high turnover, low morale and poor collaboration, not to mention the cost of missed deadlines and incomplete projects.

Managing the Unmanageable will give you practical tips and proven techniques to show you how to:

Understand what's driving your unmanageable employee.

Evaluate the costs and benefits of turning him around.

Enroll her in that effort, and help her become a valued member of your team.

Guide all your employees to greater innovation, cooperation, and effectiveness.

Communicate effectively with each of the three generations in today's workplace

1
Are Unmanageables Made or Born?

Pretty loaded question, right? When your unmanageable is busily turning your office, your team, and maybe your entire life into a total shambles, the easiest thing in the world is to think that she was born like that. Born thoughtless. Born clueless. Born unmanageable.

Unless you’re one of those admirable people who never permit themselves a judgmental thought, you’ve probably already found yourself thinking “She’s not a good worker,” “He’s totally incompetent,” “She’s an idiot,” or “He’s selfish.” And the kicker: “He’ll never change!” It would be surprising if you didn’t occasionally think something along those lines, because those are the things that appear to be true. After all, she’s not working well. He is acting incompetently. Her behavior has been idiotic at times. And if he’s ever once thought first about the team instead of just about himself, he managed to keep it a secret.

In Anne’s executive coaching practice, every manager she sees has some complaint about an unruly employee. (The shoe also fits the other foot: Jezra coaches many employees who are struggling to communicate with their unruly managers!) The cost of all this commotion can be high. Anne estimates that her executive clients lose, on average, 30 percent of their productivity because of issues related to unmanageable employees.

However, there is hope. That hope springs from the fact that there’s a world of difference between someone who’s acting unmanageable, and someone who can’t act any other way. There’s a world of difference between someone who’s become unmanageable in response to a particular set of circumstances (that can, at least theoretically, be changed) and someone who’s just like that.

Of course, the trick is telling the difference. But as you already know, our belief—supported by years of front-line coaching and consulting—is that most unmanageables can change. Most of the employees who torment your days (and sometimes sneak into your dreams at night) have the temporary kind of unmanageability. They are, in a word, salvageable. In fact, if the phrase wasn’t so unwieldy, we would probably call them “seemingly unmanageable employees,” to help you remind yourself that your UE has at least the potential to do better.

Tales From the Trenches

As a management consultant (Anne) and a communications coach (Jezra), we’re often contacted by managers who are at the end of their ropes with a UE. These managers are often so exhausted, demoralized, and frustrated by the time they reach us that they see no potential for good in their unmanageables. One example was Anne’s client Li. As the executive director of a high-profile, national nonprofit organization, his job was to make sure that all the organization’s stakeholders—including donors, staff, clients, the community, and media—were happy. Everybody had to be happy with the performance of this non-profit; but Li wasn’t happy, and it was all due to his #2, Phillipe.

According to Li, Philippe was the least self-aware person in the universe. He didn’t know how to manage his emotions and didn’t understand the impact that his actions had on other people. A private man who covered his own insecurities by yelling at others, Philippe was a walking example of the cliché “failure to communicate.” When Li brought Anne in to work on this problem, he was pretty much at his wit’s end. “You’re a good coach,” he told her, “but this isn’t going to go anywhere. Philippe’s had coaching before, and he didn’t get any better. I’m just covering my butt with HR so that, when this fails, too, I can let Philippe go.”

Another example of a manager at her wit’s end was Sue, who consulted with Anne about how to handle her UE, Daphne. Daphne was a mid-level PR exec whose clients were mostly politicians. Her job was to understand their positions, express them in clear, forceful language, and communicate them to the voters at home. It sounded simple and even exciting, but Daphne couldn’t keep anything straight! She confused things like which politician supported which piece of legislation, which message was pro versus con on an issue, and even which state elected which of her clients. Was Daphne intellectually challenged? Hardly! She was an Ivy League graduate who’d broken into the competitive PR field on the strength of her top-notch writing skills. But none of that mattered to Sue anymore, because Sue—like Phillipe’s manager, Li—had long since given up on her UE, and just wanted Anne to agree that things were hopeless.

In a third case, Rudy hired Anne to help when he was close to writing off his UE. Celia was a mid-level manager who, after years of B-plus performance, suddenly wasn’t achieving her goals, wasn’t meeting her deadlines, didn’t run effective meetings, and couldn’t seem to hold her team accountable. “I know Celia likes her job,” Rudy said, “but I can’t protect her anymore. She’s got to measure up, or leave.” In Celia’s case, the problem seemed to be an upset in her personal life, which had led to a downward spiral that included sleepless nights, groggy days, lethargy, binge eating, and a low level of job performance that she didn’t seem able to change. Like Li and Sue, Rudy didn’t believe it was possible to change his totally unmanageable scenario.

Name the Real Problem

When Anne first starts to work with new clients, she always asks them to set five goals. Often, in the beginning, there’s no mention of an unmanageable. But (funny thing!) over time, that tends to change.

For instance, Rudy (Celia’s manager) started out by saying that one of his goals was to empower and develop his team. As part of their work toward that goal, Anne kept asking Rudy questions about where his team needed developing: Who were Rudy’s strong performers? Who were the people that didn’t deliver? What was going well for his team? And, finally, what was going poorly? (Probing questions are also key to salvaging your unmanageable, as you’ll see later in this book.) As he thought about these questions, it didn’t take long for Rudy to figure out that what he really meant by develop my team was figure out what to do about Celia! Until he sat down and thought it through, though, Rudy hadn’t quite realized how much of his time Celia was wasting—or how angry he was about it.

Once it surfaced, Rudy’s anger got even worse. “I can’t believe how much time we spend talking about Celia,” he railed almost every week when he spoke with Anne. “I’m losing sleep over this. She’s driving me crazy!” This isn’t the only time we’ve heard that comment! It would be ironic if it weren’t so sobering: We’re in the toughest, most competitive business environment in generations, and what are managers losing sleep over? How to handle their unruly employees!

The impact of these situations is huge, and managers can’t stop talking about them. Having an unmanageable direct report is like having a pebble in your shoe (when it’s not like having your head in a vice). It itches. It rubs. It wears down your sense of perspective. Pretty soon, that little pebble has gone from being an irritation to a major deficit. You’re limping, you’re weakened, and you don’t know how you’re going to make it to wherever it was you thought you were going.

In spite of all that—and in spite of the anguish unmanageable employees cause—we’re constantly amazed that most of the managers we work with are willing to give their UEs one more chance. And the good news is, you don’t have to like an unmanageable employee in order to help turn him around. All you need to care about is his performance, and the rest will follow.

You Have Reactions, Too!

It’s easy to be angry at an unmanageable. They waste your time and that of other team members. They may treat you and others in a thoughtless or infuriating way. They muddy the waters, make extra work, stress everyone’s resources, and create problems. It’s hard to like an unmanageable, but if you find yourself becoming convinced that he could never have the slightest redeeming good quality, find a way to deal with your own feelings before you try to manage his.

Take Li, the non-profit manager whose #2, Phillipe, didn’t know how to communicate. Although Li considered Philippe a lost cause, he was willing to let Anne try working with him. To Li’s surprise, Phillipe rose to the challenge and, in time, began to show improvement. He eventually turned into the right-hand man that Li needed, and, though Li and Phillipe will never be best friends, that isn’t such a big deal now that Philippe is an asset to his organization.

Look Below the Surface

One of the things that allowed Li to hold on while Philippe was being transformed was that Li himself was also growing. At first, it was hard for him to imagine that he (or even his organization) might have played any part in Philippe’s unmanageability. In time, though, Li came to realize that organizations are like ecosystems: Everything impacts everything else. For example, Philippe’s coaching with Anne revealed that the organization’s priorities weren’t 100-percent clear. Philippe asked Li to create a strategic plan that would help crystallize the goals for their team, and each person’s role in achieving them. When Li did so, he noticed that everyone, not just Phillippe, began spending more time on the tasks they now knew were most important. As goals and roles became more transparent, the entire team started working more effectively.

That kind of insight is only possible when you’re able to look beneath the surface and see your unmanageable employee as more than the sum of his symptoms. Most of the managers we work with are focused at the symptom level. They don’t come in saying “My UE is a worthless blankety-blank” (even though that may be what they’re thinking). Instead, they give us descriptions of symptoms, such as “She’s become unreliable,” “He’s never once stepped up to the plate,” “She resists every new assignment,” or “He constantly complains about things.” There are two things to notice about those statements. First, they’re a huge step up from dismissive and blaming comments. And second, they’re descriptive, not analytical. They report the surface behavior, but not what’s going on beneath.

Anne’s response is almost always, “What do you think is going on with your UE underneath his unreliability? (or her reticence? or his resistance? or her complaints?)” This question encourages the manager to think more deeply about his UE, and to make observations such as “She seems distracted and disinterested,” “Maybe he doesn’t realize what needs to get done,” “I get the feeling she’s scared to try something new,” or “I don’t know what’s bothering him. I’ve asked, and he just grunts at me.”

After more discussion and prodding, Anne’s clients are able to look even deeper into the possible root causes for their employees’ unmanageable behaviors. They might say, “I think she’s losing motivation because she’s been so frustrated with her job,” or “He doesn’t really seem to understand his role on the team,” or “She doesn’t have much self-confidence,” or “I wonder if he’s having problems at home.” And now we’re getting someplace! Because, unlike complaints or symptom descriptions, these kinds of insights are actionable. If you believe that chronic job frustration is prompting your UE’s behavior, then that frustration can be reduced, and sometimes even eliminated. An employee’s role on the team can be explained. Communications can be improved. And there are numerous ways to help an employee who’s in personal crisis cope more effectively on the job.

Seeing beneath the surface takes work. Most of us tend to accept other people’s actions and words at face value, so depending on what’s going on, you may find it hard to see beyond the obvious. But the effort is well worth it, because looking below the surface (and behind the symptoms your UE presents) will give you a real head start in finding workable solutions.

Watch Out for Early Warning Signs

It’s clear that, along with the personal stresses we all face in our daily lives, workplace stress can contribute to an employee becoming unmanageable. We’ve compiled a list of common job-related stressors, along with examples of the kinds of comments that should alert you to their presence. If you hear statements such as those that follow from your employees, be sure to take them seriously. They are your first clues that trouble may be brewing.

Diminished Motivation

Frustration with a job can grow out of unmet or unrealistic expectations, company-wide uncertainty (rounds of lay-offs are particularly devastating), or relationship problems on a team or with a manager, among many other possible causes. Whether it’s gradual or instantaneous, chronic or calamitous, frustration in these areas can sap an employee’s motivation—the motivation that might otherwise drive high performance. As a manager, you’ll hear the sound of employee frustration in comments such as:

» “I’m just not into it anymore.”

» “This job isn’t what I expected.”

» “I can’t stand the people on my team.”

Unclear Expectations

It’s very easy, and very common, to misunderstand what another person wants, needs, or expects from you. The types of things people miscommunicate about on the job include deadlines, performance expectations, team or project goals, and behavioral do’s and don’ts that grow out of an organization’s culture. The instructions given by managers are often not as clear as they would like to think; and employees, for their part, can be slow to ask for clarifications that would save everyone time and effort. Finally, sadly, managers and executives sometimes purposefully lead employees astray, confuse them, or keep them in the dark to avoid unpleasant issues or consolidate power in their own hands. Whatever the source of the confusion, fallout from unclear expectations is often expressed in employee comments such as these:

» “I have no idea what she wants!”

» “It’s impossible to satisfy him.”

» “She thinks everything I do is wrong.”

Lack of Confi...

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication
• Contents
• Preface
• Introduction
• 1 Are Unmanageables Made or Born?
• 2 The 5 Cs
• 3 The Excuse-Maker
• 4 The Grumbler
• 5 The Egomaniac
• 6 The Loose Cannon
• 7 The Joker
• 8 The Do-Gooder
• 9 The Wallflower
• 10 The Gossip
• 11 The Slacker
• 12 The Rude-nik
• 13 When It’s Time to Call It Quits
• Conclusion
• Appendix A How to Manage Three Generations
• Appendix B The Tools
• Bibliography
• Index
• About the Authors