No Biting, Third Edition

Solutions and Support for Toddler Programs

Gretchen Kinnell

• Publisher: Redleaf Press
• Year: 2019
• ISBN:
  9781605546773
• Edition: 3
• Topic: Éducation
• Subtopic: Gestion du comportement

Biting is an issue that is more than skin-deep. It can affect any toddler in any setting and can have developmental, emotional, or environmental causes. An "unfortunately not unexpected" occurrence among toddlers, biting is more than a physical act. It is a serious, complicated issue that brings frustration to the biter, bitee, parents, and child care providers. This book offers technique-building advice for approaching biting in ways that work effectively for everyone involved. No Biting, Third Edition, is expanded with over 50% new and updated content that includes consultation and technical assistance on biting for infant-toddler specialists and a ready-to-use teacher training curriculum, organized into eight short training modules.Perhaps no other concern in toddler programs challenges teachers and parents as much as biting does. This how-to handbook helps you work through biting with successful strategies and trusted guidance.

CHAPTER 1

Why Do Toddlers Bite?

Why do toddlers bite? It may be tempting to say, “I don’t care why they bite; I just want them to stop.” This reaction is certainly understandable, but it won’t make the biting stop. Understanding why a toddler is biting is the first step to helping her stop. Often, nonetheless, adults insist, “She bit for no reason!” This reflects a view of toddler biting that is based on (and limited to) what makes sense and is apparent to the adult. Adults can understand that a toddler might bite when another child takes a toy away or hits. In the absence of such obvious reasons, however, many adults are baffled. They don’t have the information or the understanding they need to work effectively with the toddler. Acknowledging that there is always a reason for the biting is important. Our role and responsibility is to identify the reason or reasons so we can work effectively with each child. The approach you take to help a child stop biting depends on knowing why she is biting in the first place.

Three Categories of Causes for Biting

Toddlers bite for many reasons, and these fall into three broad categories:

1. Developmental issues:

• teething pain or discomfort

• developing oral-motor skills

• sensory exploration of the surroundings

• learning about cause and effect

• learning through imitating others

• developing a sense of space

• developing autonomy

• developing expressive communication skills

• needing more attention

• learning to hold on and let go

• developing sensory integration

2. Expression of feelings:

• frustration

• anger

• tension

• anxiety

• excitement

• a reaction to abuse or other physical aggression

3. An environment or program that is not working for the child:

• an environment that is too stimulating or not stimulating enough

• a space that is too crowded and does not allow children privacy

• inappropriate expectations (such as expecting toddlers to share toys or equipment)

• a rigid schedule that does not meet toddlers’ needs for food and sleep

Finding out why a particular toddler is biting requires thoughtful observation. Any one or a combination of the above reasons may be involved. These reasons are not a checklist that an adult can look at briefly to decide why a child is biting but rather a guide to many possibilities. It’s possible to know what’s going on with a particular child only by carefully watching him over time. On the following pages, we take a look at these broad categories to give you an idea of why a child might bite.

DEVELOPMENTAL REASONS FOR BITING

Understanding that many of the reasons for biting are related to development is important. It helps explain why we see so much biting in groups of toddlers but not in groups of preschoolers. It also puts biting into perspective: it points away from blaming toddlers for biting and toward understanding that while they are developing important knowledge and skills, biting is “not unexpected.”

You are likely to notice that many of the developmental reasons for biting are interrelated. For example, toddlers are working on developing a sense of themselves as separate individuals with some power and control. At the same time, they often don’t have the language skills to express themselves. Language skills are related to the development of oral-motor skills, which are necessary for speech. So a child may become frustrated when she feels powerless, such as when another child has a toy she wants. When she can’t express herself verbally, she becomes even more frustrated. It may be the frustration that leads a child to bite, but the frustration is rooted in developmental considerations.

Teething. Some toddlers bite because of the pain and discomfort of teething. This is especially true of young toddlers, who may not make the distinction between a teething ring that feels good on sore gums and an arm that feels just as good. It is not usually difficult to recognize when a toddler is biting because of teething; she is most likely gnawing on just about everything.

Oral-Motor Skills. Another reason toddlers gnaw and may bite is because they are developing the oral-motor skills they need to speak and to eat without choking. At the toddler stage, this includes a great deal of chewing. They are exploring and experimenting with movement involving their mouths just as they do with other parts of their body. When toddler biting is related to developing oral-motor skills, we often see a great deal of oral-motor activity. Toddlers seek opportunities for oral stimulation: they put toys in their mouths and gum or chew them, they seek out activities that involve oral-motor skills, such as blowing bubbles, and they often prefer foods they can chew over softer foods.

Sensory Exploration. Toddlers may bite because they are exploring: they learn about objects and people using all their senses. This means they like to discover how things feel and taste in their mouths. It isn’t too surprising when the exploration goes from mouthing to tasting to chomping. Observing this progression helps you know when a toddler is using biting as a way of exploring.

Cause and Effect. Toddlers may bite because they are learning about cause and effect: “What happens when …?” This natural developmental curiosity may become, “What happens when I sink my teeth into Laura’s arm?” A toddler who bites while he is learning about cause and effect usually does not appear to be upset before he bites. He also may look quite surprised when the child he is biting reacts loudly to being bitten.

Imitation. Toddlers may bite because they are imitating others. Toddlers use imitation as a way to learn. They learn many behaviors from other children, and biting can be one of them. Caregivers often report that after a period of time of no biting, one child bites, and the next thing they know, they have an epidemic. When this happens, children may well be biting in imitation of others. Toddlers might also imitate biting behaviors they learn from adoring, but unwitting, parents and grandparents. Who hasn’t heard parents and grandparents look at infants and toddlers and proclaim, “You are just so wonderful I could eat you up”? The adult then follows this proclamation by pretending to nibble or gobble the wonderfully plump cheeks, tummy, or thighs of a delighted child. It is hardly surprising that toddlers try out the same behaviors. Unfortunately, they missed the part when the adults covered their teeth with their lips before chomping! When biting is related to this kind of imitation, we often see toddlers bite and then look to us with a big smile and an expression that seems to convey, “You are wonderful too. I could just eat you up!” Many caregivers find this is the situation when toddlers bite them.

Spatial Relationships. Toddlers may bite because they are developing an understanding of space and how it works. Toddlers are not able to judge a space or a distance by sight alone. To gain an understanding of space and spatial relationships, they must experiment physically, both with their own bodies and with materials—for example, by putting objects into containers and by trying to fit themselves into different spaces. With these kinds of experiments, they often end up on top of each other, and one child may become upset when another toddler gets too close. So biting can happen when children are too close together or when one child tries to get into the space already occupied by another. When biting is related to problems of physical closeness, a toddler may send a warning message by protesting when someone gets too close to him.

Autonomy. Toddlers may bite because of their developing understanding of autonomy. They are experimenting with asserting themselves as independent beings, and they are making choices and trying to control situations and other people. Some toddlers bite to demonstrate this control and to have power over others. It is quite easy to recognize when toddlers are trying to sort out autonomy—just listen for lots of “No!” “Mines!” and “Me do it!”

Language Limitations. Toddlers may bite because they don’t have the language skills to express themselves. Because they are working on developing a sense of autonomy, they may have very definite ideas of what they want but not have the language to express those ideas. They don’t have the words to convey their emotions, their needs, or their desires. It is very difficult for them to experience any control when other people do not understand what they want. The resulting frustration may cause them to express themselves by biting.

Attention. Toddlers may bite because they want and need more attention. Toddlers who need more attention than they are getting may notice that biting usually results in lots of attention. They would rather get the attention associated with biting—even if it is not pleasant—than get little or no attention. Recognizing that the need for attention belongs to the individual is very important. We may feel that a child is getting plenty of attention and doesn’t need any more. Toddlers, however, do not base their desire for attention on what we think should be enough! If we purposefully withhold attention, toddlers may bite even more.

Holding On and Letting Go. Sometimes biting is related to maturation of the central nervous system, which allows toddlers to control the muscles that hold on and let go. At first the muscles that hold on are stronger than the muscles that let go. We see this in potty training, where toddlers learn to “hold it” until they get to the potty and then let go of the urine and feces. Toddlers are also working on emotional holding on and letting go. We see evidence of this in separation anxiety, when toddlers struggle with letting go of their parents. Biting can be evidence of learning to hold on and let go at another level. We see this when a toddler who might have been mouthing another child’s arm suddenly finds that his teeth are holding on to the arm even though he didn’t mean to bite. This is often frightening to both children.

Sensory Integration. Sensory integration is the ability to use our senses to take in, sort out, and connect information from the world around us in an organized way. When toddlers cannot organize the information they take in through their senses, it is difficult for them to respond with appropriate behavior. For example, toddlers who have problems with sensory integration may bite because they find ordinary movements frightening. They may end up biting someone when that was not what they meant to do. Children who need lots of sensory input may even bite themselves.

EXPRESSIVE REASONS FOR BITING

When it comes to self-expression, toddlers have not yet developed the range of skills and abilities that older children and adults have. Here are several examples. Toddlers can understand a great deal of what is said to them but have limited ability to express their own needs, wants, and ideas verbally. They are not yet able to regulate their own behavior and practice self-control. At the same time, they have definite ideas, and they know what they want. They experience strong emotions and need to express them in some way. Without being able to draw on language, self-regulation, and self-control, they often express themselves physically. Such physical expressions can include biting. Here are some reasons related to expressing emotions, ideas, needs, and wants that might explain why a particular toddler is biting.

Frustration. Toddlers may bite because they are frustrated. This frustration is sometimes related to their lack of language skills. Toddlers are working on language development, but when they know exactly what they want and don’t yet have the words to make themselves understood, their frustration can mount and result in a chomp. Toddlers are just barely beginning to develop inner control, and when frustration becomes too great, they may bite.

Anger. Toddlers may bite to express their anger. When toddlers can’t get people or objects to do what they want, they can easily become angry. Biting in this situation has been called an “oral tantrum.” When toddlers bite out of frustration or anger, you can often see their frustration or anger building before the actual bite occurs.

Tension. Toddlers may bite to release tension. When people are under pressure, their bodies tend to become very tense. Toddlers may bite to relieve the tension in their mouths and jaws.

Anxiety. Toddlers may bite because they are feeling anxious. When toddlers are feeling insecure, scared, or confused about something at home or in the child care program, they may relieve the anxiety by biting. Many adults also use oral solutions to relieve anxiety—for example, smoking, eating, or drinking.

Excitement. Toddlers may bite because they are excited. Some toddlers get so excited they can’t contain themselves. In the excitement of the moment, they just might joyously sink their teeth into a body part that is close to them. When one little boy seemed to be targeting a parti...