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Chapter 1
Tributes
from
Family and Relatives
SOME IMPORTANT TRUTHS
Kirstin Woo
San Carlos, California, 94070, U.S.A.
Dearest Dad,
Happy, Happy 70th Birthday! This year has been all about celebrating your achievements and your ability to touch lives - both in simple personal interactions and in large lecture halls. It is challenging to condense my feelings into a few succinct and print-worthy paragraphs, but I will try my best to do so.
Many people have written sincere and precious words in your honor for this book. While previewing these tributes, I felt more and more proud to learn about how your hard work and morals have influenced others in such a profound way. Then, having the opportunity to read your own personal account gave me a bit more insight into our family history and the context of your life that I never had before. It is not just from reading all this sentimental material that I am feeling greater motivation to understand and connect with you. There is a recent transition that has come about in me - perhaps with motherhood, perhaps with age (eek!) -and it is my heartfelt wish to make you feel happy.
As you wrote in your piece and have wished aloud many times, in the ideal world your daughter would be “nicer to her Daddy”. You often lament how attending Brown corrupted me - as I became much more messy, less obedient, and more opinionated after going there. It is true that I wanted to declare independence as most teenagers do at age 18. And although I genuinely admired you for many things, I did not want to feel like my character was predetermined. As an adult, I have continued to struggle to find my own answers and pathways while being ever-conscious of your and Mom’s approval. However, whereas I tried to deny it in the past, I now freely admit that your respect and acceptance are extremely important to me. I have spent many years trying to fight against the similarities between us in order to establish an identity of my own, but now I am proud of the characteristics we share. I am proud that indeed, we are very much alike (although now I always drink fully-caffeinated coffee). Spending less energy on keeping an arm’s length between us means I have greater energy to see positive aspects of our relationship. I continue to learn new things from you and I find that the more I open myself to those lessons, the more value they have.
In addition to taking genuine interest in the stories and experiences you have to share, I more deeply appreciate your emphasis on certain values than ever before. Some family values do change from generation to generation (especially when weathering drastic cultural change such as immigrating from the “Far East” to the U.S.), but your philosophy of gradual growth, courtesy, and integrity are personal characteristics that I hope to pass on to our children.
The adventures of parenting have made me feel more vulnerable - and at times needy - than I have ever felt or wished to admit. Work-life balance is something that I strive to achieve every day. Knowing how difficult it is to be away from my children, I see what an emotional sacrifice it was for you to work outside the home in order to financially support my education and ambitions. As Adam and I devote ourselves to the same goal (albeit within a different family construct), my appreciation for what you have done grows deeper and more sincere.
You have gone on to make other sacrifices to support my family (including taking initiative to help out with the girls and living solo in Pittsburgh while Mom helps us), which is truly touching. But above all, seeing you interact with Zadie and Arden - your sentimentality, your generosity, and deep love - just fills my heart with warmth. I will never ever take for granted your and Mom’s active participation in their lives. Nonetheless, you will continue to hear my resistance to unnecessary spoiling - although I know it is never heeded!
Dad, I hope you can feel the sincerity of my words. There has always been love in my heart, and I hope with each year you will come to know it more and more.
Kirstin
BASEBALL THROUGH THE EVOLUTION OF A FATHER/SON RELATIONSHIP
Jonathan Woo
It is fitting that my contribution to this book is revolves around sports, since I have worked in a Pittsburgh sports bar for the past four years. I have grown and matured in that time, as has my relationship with my father. In terms of work ethic and loyalty, I have learned much from my father. This is the most important thing that I could have taken from him as a role model and an example of how to live my life. He has taught me from childhood to work hard and to apply all of myself to whatever job I had. Now that I have found a job that I am passionate about, I realize how my father dedicated himself to what he was doing. When I was younger (yes, I can say that now), I was confused as to why my father traveled so much and worked at h...
