The Power of Charisma

Harnessing the C-Factor to Inspire Change

Dan Strutzel,Traci Shoblom

• Publisher: G&D Media
• Year: 2018
• ISBN:
  9781722520083
• Topic: Negocios y empresa
• Subtopic: Reuniones y presentaciones

Most everyone has something they are passionate about. But without the ability to actually effect change, things just stay the same. To truly inspire change, we must be able to explain the problem, inspire people to join us, and create a vision for the new reality that motivates others to take the actions that lead to lasting transformation. Inspiring change requires charisma—the ability to communicate a clear, visionary, and inspirational message that captivates and motivates an audience.Charisma, a social skill, like listening, can be learned. Once learned, it becomes the difference between being heard or ignored. Whether you're the head of a company, a Girl Scout troop leader, or a freelance artist all alone in your studio, charisma can help you get what you want.

PART ONE

What Is the C-Factor?

1

The C-Factor: You Know It When You See It

It was a hot spring day in Palm Springs in 1967 when author Colleen Collins met the King of Rock ’n’ Roll, Elvis Presley.* She’d just finished marching in a parade as part of her high school drill team. Suddenly one of her friends shrieked, “There’s Elvis Presley!”

Colleen looked across the street and saw Elvis, along with two bodyguards, trying to get into a dentist’s office. Surrounded by admirers, Elvis was politely signing autographs. As usual, he was a polite Southern gentleman. “Thank you, ma’am.” “I sure appreciate that.”

After a few minutes, he thanked everyone and turned to go inside the dentist’s office. Without thinking, Colleen shouted through the crowd. “Please, Elvis, just one more!” To her shock, he looked straight at her and said, “OK. Just one more.”

It was surreal. The crowds parted and he walked toward her, as if in slow motion. He smiled and said, “What would you like me to sign?” She realized that she had nothing, so she turned around and said, “Sign my back, please.”

She meant the back of her shirt, but he lifted her hair and placed the pen on the back of her neck and started writing.

“You’re too sweaty for me to sign your back,” he teased.

“I meant my shirt,” she said. “Sign the back of my shirt.”

As he wrote he spelled out, “T-h-e b-a-c-k o-f m-y s-h-i-r-t” as though he were writing those exact words.

She turned around and said, “Is that what you wrote?”

And he gave Colleen his famous curled-lip grin and said, “No, honey, I wrote my name.”

When you meet a charismatic person, you just somehow sense that they are different. The energy around them is different. They have a sort of presence that makes people notice them. Many have called it the “It Factor.”

Let’s do a quick word association. Close your eyes and think of the word charisma. What famous people pop into your head? Your answers probably depend on a few things, including your age, your interests, and where you live.

For example, celebrities like Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley, Paul Newman, and others would come to mind if you are over the age of fifty. Younger celebrities would include Julia Roberts, George Clooney, Oprah Winfrey, and Matthew McConaughey.

But charisma isn’t only found in Hollywood. Politicians such as Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, John Kennedy, and Condoleezza Rice are notably charismatic. Athletes like Muhammad Ali, Joe Namath, Magic Johnson, and Peyton Manning have used charisma on and off the field.

Interestingly, you don’t even have to like or respect a person to acknowledge that they are charismatic. Extreme examples of this include Adolf Hitler and cult leader Jim Jones. These are examples of people who used their charismatic qualities to influence people to do horrible things. But they were still charismatic.

The thing about charisma is that it’s a seemingly unidentifiable quality: you just “know it when you see it.”

Charisma can be defined as “a constellation of personal characteristics or qualities that allow an individual to influence others by affecting their feelings, opinions, or behaviors.”* Outside the context of leadership, it can be defined as “a dramatic flair that involves the desire and ability to communicate emotions, and thereby inspire others.”**

But if that were the case—that charisma is some undefinable quality that no one can explain—then you could stop reading right now. You’d already either have it or not.

Of course we don’t believe that. The premise of this book is that charisma is not a personality trait that one is born with, but is instead a learnable skill. Good for you, right? Or maybe you’re already charismatic, but don’t even know it.

Can You Be Charismatic and Not Know It?

Think back to the C-Factor Quiz at the beginning of the book. If you didn’t score as highly as you would have liked, maybe it’s because you don’t have a self-perception of being charismatic. In other words, the definitions we just gave for charisma had more to do with the person’s actual impact—what others think about that person—and less to do with a person’s awareness of their impact on others. To say it differently, a person can be seen as charismatic by others and yet not see himself or herself as charismatic. It’s all about perspective.

For example, a humble person might be uncomfortable saying they are charismatic, while an arrogant person might easily believe themselves to be charismatic. Would Moses or Jesus have described himself as charismatic? Would their followers have described them as charismatic?

An overly arrogant or confident person might answer 10 on each item in the quiz, yet other people might see that person simply as a jerk. (Remember Jim Carrey’s character Ace Ventura in the movie Ace Ventura: Pet Detective?)

The point is that a person’s true level of charisma does not depend on that person’s beliefs or perceptions about their level of charisma.

Not to worry: you’ll have an opportunity to take the quiz again at the end of the book, and you will also be encouraged to have others fill it out for you.

Assumptions about Charisma

This brings up an interesting point. We’ve already established that a person can have charisma without feeling charismatic. Yet, before you read the passage above, you probably assumed that a person with charisma would see themselves as having it.

What other assumptions do we make about charisma? Like all assumptions, some are valid and some are not. It’s important to look at these and see whether they are true. Here are some assumptions to question.

Assumption One: Charismatic People Are Always Charismatic

Have you ever felt completely confident and in control of a situation? Maybe it was a job interview that went really well, or a talk you gave. It was a few moments where even you were impressed with your own level of charisma.

We don’t tend to think of those isolated moments as meaning that we have charisma, though. Instead we tend to assume that charismatic people are always charismatic.

It’s not so! Many people would see actress Cameron Diaz as a charismatic person. But when she brought her dog to veterinary surgeon Ed Leeds (a personal friend of Traci’s), she was just a regular person. “She walked in wearing no makeup, and a baseball cap,” he said. “If I didn’t know she was famous, I’d never have guessed it. She’s just this down-to-earth person who was more concerned that her dog get quality care than being a celebrity.” Dr. Leeds had a similar experience with Vegas personalities Siegfried and Roy. “When I spayed their white tigers, they weren’t the stage performers. They were just a couple of animal lovers at home, who happened to have an amazing zoo inside their house.”

Assumption Two: Charismatic People Are Always Extroverts

Another assumption that we tend to make is that charismatic people are outgoing “life of the party” types. Research actually contradicts that assumption. One only need look as far as Princess Diana, Mother Teresa, or the extreme case of Howard Hughes to see that one doesn’t need to have an outgoing personality to influence others.

Dr. Lyman Porter (or “Port,” as his friends called him) was a classic example of a charismatic introvert. In academic circles, he was a brilliant mind who helped establish the field of management research. His theories and models have been taught in colleges around the world for more than thirty years. But to meet Port, one would see a simple, quiet man who wore sweater vests and asked probing questions. His piercing blue eyes and gentle laugh evoked one’s kind grandpa more than a man who influenced and inspired generations of students.

Assumption Three: Charisma Is Innate

This might be the most common of all assumptions about charisma. Most of us look at a person with charisma and think, “Wow, I wish I could be like that, but I guess they were just born that way.” Again, not true! While some people are born with a personality that is naturally charming, we’ve noted that charisma is about the effect you have on others. You can be charming and charismatic, or charming and sociopathic.

Charisma is a set of specific behaviors that affect other people. And if it’s behavioral, then it can be learned. In an article in the Academy of Management Journal, researchers taught participants how to be more charismatic when giving a speech.*

An article in the Harvard Business Review identified a dozen “charismatic leadership tactics” or CLTs.** Nine of them are verbal: (1) metaphors, similes, and analogies; (2) stories and anecdotes; (3) contrasts; (4) rhetorical questions; (5) three-part lists; (6) expressions of moral conviction; (7) reflections of the group’s sentiments; (8) the setting of high goals; and (9) conveying confidence that these goals can be achieved. Three tactics are nonverbal: animated voice, facial expressions, and gestures. Reading through this list, it becomes clear that these are techniques that practically anyone can learn. We’ll get into more detail about charismatic behaviors in chapter three.

Assumption Four: There Is Only One Style of Charisma

In our discussion of charismatic introverts, we have already pretty much blown this assumption out of the water. In fact, in her best-selling book The Charisma Myth, author Olivia Fox Cabane identifies four different styles of charisma. They are: focus charisma, visionary charisma, kindness charisma, and authority charisma.

Let’s look a little more deeply at each.

Focus charisma is characterized by presence. People with this kind of charisma give you the feeling that they are fully present and listening to what you say. It’s the kind of charisma seen in business with leaders such as Bill Gates and Elon Musk. Dr. Lyman Porter was also an example of focus charisma.

Visionary charisma is characterized by belief. People with this kind of charisma make others feel inspired. They make us believe! Think Tony Robbins or Joel Osteen. These individuals give others a sense of empowerment and belief in a better future. It’s about projecting complete conviction about a cause.

Kindness charisma is characterized by warmth. People with this kind of charisma radiate total and complete acceptance of others. The Dalai Lama is a great example. People with kindness charisma have the ability to make people feel completely respected and accepted, often for the first time in their lives.

Authority charisma is characterized by status. It’s the perception of power. This is often perceived by clothing (think of a doctor’s coat) or possessions (an expensive car or home). It’s also conveyed by body language—a gait or strut of confidence. Barack Obama is an example of someone with authority charisma. This is the kind of charisma that is the easiest to fake. We’ll get more into the dark side of charisma in chapter two.

C-Size: The Power of Focus

All right, it’s time for our first C-Size exercise. One thing we learned in this chapter is that people with the C-Factor are able to really be present and focus. So our first C-Size is to practice focus.

Set a timer for two minutes. Make sure that you won’t be disturbed, so put your phone on silent, mute the computer, and lock the door. You don’t have to lie down or sit in some lotus position. Just sit where you are, and focus on the present environment around you. First, what do you see? What does the room look like? Is it messy or neat? What is the decor like? Just take a few moments and look around the room as if you had never seen it before.

Next, what do you hear? Go beyond the obvious sounds and listen further. Do you hear a dog barking? Birds chirping? Traffic going by? Maybe you can hear a computer whirring or someone talking in the distance. Close your eyes for a moment if it helps, but just focus on what you can hear.

How about smell? Does the room have a particular smell? Can you smell your coffee or the air freshener?

Taste. Is there a taste in your mouth right now? Maybe it’s the taco you had for lunch, or your toothpaste. Maybe there is no taste in your mouth.

Now scan your body for how it feels. Become aware of the sensation of your body on the chair and of your feet on the floor. What position are your legs and arms? Is there an area of tightness? Heaviness? Lightness? Does anything hurt? Does anything feel good?

By now your timer should be going off to indicate the end of the exercise. Pr...