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Passing Under the Low Lintel
Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”1
Jesus Visits Martha and Mary
In this gospel story from Luke, Jesus is welcomed across the threshold of Mary and Martha’s home and comes into their world, humbly stooping to pass under “the low lintel” of their human hearts.2 This story offers a noteworthy entry point into the territory of pastoral care, counseling, and spiritual companioning, for after receiving his friends’ welcome, Jesus welcomes them into his spacious presence, humbly fitting his stature to meet their needs,3 while embracing them with his life-giving, restorative, and self-emptying way of love.4
Jesus’ visit to this household brings his way close to us as he affirms the receptivity and responsiveness of Mary, and challenges the reactive and over-and-against energy of Martha. Both women are being invited to deeper life, where “there is the need of only one thing.” In the passage that serves as our pilot guide for companioning, Jesus calls this “one thing” “rest for your souls.”5
Mary Sits, Jesus Invites
Sitting at the feet of Jesus, Mary is absorbed by Christ and what he is saying. This picture of openness and receptivity reveals Mary as one who is drawn into relationship with the life and light embodied within Jesus. His presence, his gentle, and humble heart, even more than his words, draws her to deeper levels of awareness and brings life to her soul. Prior to this occasion, might there have been a healing or inner transformation within Mary that has given her the self-assurance to set aside cultural, religious, and gender constraints, even to risk the ire of her sister, to come into the presence of Jesus and sit at his feet in this way?
Having chosen the “better part” does not suggest that Mary is more advanced in her faith journey than Martha, but reflects her receptivity to a relationship with Jesus, which enables her to move beyond the constraints that entangle Martha and so receive the gift of grace, the gift of divine presence, that Jesus is offering to her.6 In this encounter between Mary and Jesus, we notice how Jesus holds both grace and truth in perfect unity. He does not need to exert influence or power over Mary because the desire for truth is already planted in her soul.7 Through his manifest presence, Jesus beckons Mary to look at her everyday experience through the lens of spiritual awareness,8 enabling her to see ordinary things in a new and profound way, and thus guiding her to a safe harbor where she can find rest for her soul.9
Martha Reacts, Jesus Invites
The gospel encounter between Jesus and Martha portrays Martha in a reactive, over-and-against frame of mind. After welcoming Jesus as a guest, she becomes pre-occupied and distracted with her many hosting tasks. Martha’s reactiveness comes to a head when she seeks to extend power over Mary by co-opting the influence of Jesus, her guest, to bring her sister into line: “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.”
In Jesus’ masterful response, he brings into focus the events, experiences, and underlying emotions that are right in front of Martha in order to invite her to respond from a deeper place. He gently but firmly reflects back to Martha both her approach to her tasks and the emotional content that has entrapped her at the surface level of her life. He moves towards, not away from, Martha’s experience, meeting her at her point of resistance and encouraging her to be attentive to what is happening inside. “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things . . .” Then he names the shift from the many things to the “need of only one thing”. Because Mary has been the target of Martha’s projections, Jesus brings her back into the conversation, reaffirming his invitation to the deeper life he is offering: “Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”10 Now Martha is invited to transformation, healing, and deeper life.
A careful examination of this encounter reveals that the relational space which Jesus opens for Martha is more significant than the words he uses. It is completely consistent with his “Come to me . . .”11 That relationship is the bridge to the deeper life, to the one thing needed.12 None of Martha’s worries, entanglements, fears or projections find their counterparts in the person of Jesus, who is offering Martha a self-giving, self-emptying, and other-receiving love. The deepest cry emanating from within her fragile and wounded heart will painfully resonate within Jesus’ gentle, humble, unprotected, and vulnerable heart.
The personal territory upon which this companioning encounter occurs is not neutral. If we step into this emotionally charged space, we might ask if Martha was really expecting Jesus to use his personal power to bring her sister into line. She was certainly putting something onto Jesus that he would need to decide whether or not to carry.
But Jesus had done his inner work well, including his unequivocal, “No” to the temptation of exercising power over others.13 He knows that Martha will only grow into the fullness of her humanity by entering into the hospitable space, deeper life, and soul rest that he is offering through his presence, but he extends that relationship bridge in complete freedom.
The Companion’s Task as One
who Tends the Story
who Tends the Story
While a religious teacher in the room of Mary and Martha’s house might focus on the content of what Jesus was saying and how he was conveying this to his hearers, a spiritual companion would be more concerned about what was happening for Martha, Mary, and the others sitting near Jesus and what was beginning to stir within them. To companion is to enter the dynamics of the encounter between created beings and their Creator.
As I reflect on Mary’s receptiveness, I remember the Mary’s whom I have recently companioned. Each has responded to my question, “What is it that is in front of you that would be useful to attend to in our time together?” with a pressing and troubling personal issue. By encouraging these women to attend closely the experience directly in front of them, they quickly moved into the regions of their hearts, looking in on themselves for new insights and understandings. In this place, each encountered warmth, love, and reaffirmation of her personhood as a child of God. Some sat in the embrace of the Divine Presence, while others inwardly danced or played. For some a verse of scripture emerged. From this place of safety, new and substantive responses emerged to the pressing issues that were in front of them, drawing them into the very midst of, rather than away from, the difficulties and pains of their lived experience, and there encountering the Divine. My companioning task was simply to keep each of these women attentive to what emerged in front of them as and when it surfaced.
I now take this prayerful reflection one step further by bringing these encounters together with our pilot passage, “Come unto me . . . and you will find rest for your soul . . .”14
Notice how this is an invitation into relationship. In the context of this personal relationship, we are able to bring our weary and burdened selves, and the experiences that trouble us, into a place of rest. By opening his gentle and humble heart to us, Jesus draws us into the flow of love that moves between the Father and the Son, where we find this rest for our souls. The freedom of this relationship is that it does not involve heavy expectations or the exercise of power over us. In fact, Jesus concludes with, “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light”.15 The challenge for me in my ongoing formation and growth is: “Which aspects of this relationship and this way might I be able to reflect and embody in my companioning?”
Notice how this is an invitation into relationship. In the context of this personal relationship, we are able to bring our weary and burdened selves, and the experiences that trouble us, into a place of rest. By opening his gentle and humble heart to us, Jesus draws us into the flow of love that moves between the Father and the Son, where we find this rest for our souls. The freedom of this relationship is that it does not involve heavy expectations or the exercise of power over us. In fact, Jesus concludes with, “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light”.15 The challenge for me in my ongoing formation and growth is: “Which aspects of this relationship and this way might I be able to reflect and embody in my companioning?”
The women I companioned were certainly not sitting at my feet—in fact, they were sitting opposite. But I began to notice that as they moved into deeper levels of awareness, they were—like Mary—sitting at the feet of Jesus. Their personal encounter with ...