Part 1
Law and Freedom
Day 1
The Conscientious Believer
TS goes to the door of his home and meets GB for the first time. After they introduce themselves TS invites GB to come inside and proceeds to his lounge room where they sit in two old but very comfortable chairs. It is a day of getting to know each other although it is mainly GB telling TS about his extraordinary recent past.
GB: Thanks for agreeing to have a chat with me.
TS: Itās a pleasure. You mentioned in your email that we hadnāt met before and thatās true. From what you said, however, a mutual friendāI know her wellāsuggested you contact me.
GB: I donāt know her all that much. I met her at my church, only a few months ago. But I was talking to her about my problem and she thought you might be able to help.
TS: Iāll help if I can. What do you want to talk to me about?
GB: Itās fairly complicated and itās got a lot to do with my past. I suspect weād need to meet a few times, if youād be happy with that. The other thing is, because what I want to ask you about is, I think, fairly unusual, and Christians might be a little concerned that I am raising these matters in the first place, could we keep our conversations confidentialāat least for now?
TS: I donāt have any problems with discussions being confidential unless theyāre of a criminal nature.
GB: No, no! Thereās nothing criminal about what Iād like to discuss with you. Itās theological!
TS: No worries then. And as far as meeting with you a few times, thatās not a problem either. But youāre a bit of a mystery. Whatās it all about?
GB: Well I wonāt beat around the bush. The truth is, Iāve spent a number of years as the leader of a cultāwell, what youād call a cult. There were a large number of us. I know Iām young but they made me their leader almost from the beginning. They couldāve picked other people instead of me. It might have been my forthright manner or that I seemed to be so sure of myself. I donāt know. Anyway, as time went on, we all thought we were very important. We were the enlightened ones! And we were very conscientious. We tried promoting our beliefs to others and were quite prepared to cope with those who mocked us. After a year or so of being their leader I began to think of myself as the most conscientious and most able of them all. Then everything began to change. Slowly but steadily, what I will now call, āa profound sense of reality,ā began to undermine my confidence. What I had been playing at seemed to be incredibly unreal. By the end of the next year I became thoroughly disillusioned with everything we stood for.
TS: What happened?
GB: Sorry. I really donāt understand what happened. It was as though I was having a type of brain transplantāa transplant for the better. In the end it seemed to me that it was as though we had all been drugged. It now became obvious to me that weād all been suffering under some terrible delusion. I felt completely lost and utterly stupid. Yet everyone looked to me as their leader. Iād been blind and realized that Iād been responsible for misleading many others. I was however, far too embarrassed to explain to anyone the profound change in my thinking. Throughout that long period of my reassessing what I was doing and what I believed, I kept my deep-seated doubts to myself. So, one day, I simply walked out on themāwithout any explanation! They were devastated and in shock. But I had to. . . . I know Iām talking a lotāIām a bit nervous. Sorry. Itās still so fresh in my mind.
TS: Youāve got nothing to be sorry about. Youāve obviously been through a terrible experience. What was the cult all about?
GB: Iāll get to that. Anyway I had to leave everything. I had to get away from it all. I couldnāt continue to live a life of what I now saw as utter stupidity. My self-confidence evaporated and I felt so bad about myself that I really couldnāt see any point to lifeāat least not to my life. As a last resortāIām sorry to put it this wayāI decided to test the possibility that Jesus might be somebody, unlike me, of some significance! I did know a fair bit about him. I wonāt go into how that came to be. Or at least I thought I knew a fair bit about him. Perhaps there was some truth to what some people claimed for him. That was my thinking. Maybe he had been, or even now, was, somebody far more important than even me!! Hmm! Maybe some of those things he said were really worth something. Maybe he could give some direction to my life. Maybe he was someone or had something worth dying for. I would go for that! You see I was a zealot at heart. Iām still a zealot. I know myself well enough to say that!
TS: So you tried to find out about Jesus or more about him than you previously knew. And what conclusion did you come to? Have you come to any conclusion yet?
GB: I focused on the Gospels of the New Testament, but also some of Paulās letters. I studied them from an historical point of view. I read works opposed to Christianity. I simply wanted to get to the truth about this man. I was desperate. Gradually I became convinced, quite convinced, that Jesus rose again from the dead, much the way the Gospel writers claim. That was a little over a year ago. Since then Iāve been reading the Bible as a whole, over and over, and I realize that I have much to learn. Though Iāve started going to church, I havenāt talked to many Christians about what Iāve been reading and learning but perhaps I shouldāve.
TS: So you think it would be helpful if we chatted about the Scriptures, perhaps book by book, and what they say?
GB: Oh no! That would be too much. Another time perhaps! Anyway, I think Iāve worked a lot out but I do have a couple of particular problems that I want to raiseāfairly serious problems. They relate to my previous life in the cult.
TS: Okay but before you tell me about those, Iāll be very direct. Do you think youāre a genuine Christian?
GB: Iām pretty sure I am! Yes, of course I am! By the way, I donāt mind using the word āChristian,ā though I know the word only occurs in the New Testament two or three times. However, sometimes I prefer to refer to myself as a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ or just as a believer when Iām in Christian circles.
TS: āBelieverā or āChristianā is okay with me. But I think I see your point. Perhaps I should be more judicial in my use of the word āChristian.ā . . . Have you read that book in the New Testament entitled 1 Thessalonians?
GB: Yes, a number of times. I found it one of the easiest of New Testament books to understand.
TS: Paul wrote at the beginning of that letter how the Thessalonians had turned from idols to serve the living and true God and to wait for his Son from heaven, Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath. Do you think that applies to you?
GB: Yes it does, absolutely, although Iāve learnt that my idols are different to their idols, if you know what I mean. And Iām waiting for his Son to bring the universe, as we know it, to a close, and to come again, recognizable by all as Godās Son, the one whom he has made Lord. I do believe this Son, Jesus, has rescued me from the anger of God, which otherwise I would have suffered under at his great judgement day. I do understand that heās in charge.
TS: How long have you been a Christian, a believer!?
GB: I guess just about a year.
TS: You seemed to have discovered an awful lot in a year! Youāve discovered the gospel, the good newsāthe great news. And you express yourself so clearly.
GB: Thanks, but I feel Iāve started rather late and am still confused about a number of things.
TS: Believe me, youāre still quite young! And the truth is, by the kindness of God, youāve discovered what many others fail to perceive all their lives. Youāve been born a second time. You are a child of God. Your sins have been forgiven, youāve been justified through faith in Christ Jesus, you have peace with God and youāve received the gift of his Holy Spirit. I know that Iām using very Christian language but what God has done for you is extraordinarily significant. I find it difficult to express it otherwise, without cheapening what Iām trying to say. Certainly, what God has done for you should never be treated lightly.
GB: I know, I know. I couldnāt agree more. Itās wonderful really. Once I was indeed blind but now I really do see! However let me cut to the chase. You asked me what the cult was all about. In the world of that cult to which I belonged, that cult which I led, there were many rules and regulations. Thatās what the cult was all about! This must sound ridiculous but there were all these ceremonies that we rigorously took part in. I led them! We were, well, particularly myself, concerned to get everything right. I was meticulous in my conformity to the rules and in my participation in the rituals. I think my zealousness led to my disillusionment. I could never get it all right all the time. It was impossible. I began to see more and more my inability to make the rituals perfect in every way. I realize that for peopleāpeople probably like youāthis is very difficult to understand. At the time, however, I had no idea how consuming the rituals were. I realize this sounds utterly ridiculous but it wasnāt ridiculous to me or to any of us. I told you that we were, well I realized that I was, stupid, blind and in a way, drugged, though we werenāt on drugs!
TS: Iām glad. And yes, I donāt understand what it mustāve been like. Iāve never had anything like that sort of experience, though I think I can appreciate just a little of what youāre saying. Itās too easy for others to say you were, as it were, drugged. Most of the world is in a type of drugged state. Most people are blind to the ultimate realities concerning God and his Son. But youāve been delivered. And youāve tasted the freedom of the gospel. As a believer in the Lord Jesus who has done everything for you, you simply need to live by that same Spirit whom God has freely given to you. I am sure you know that now. His fruit is love, joy, p...