Jesus, Clear and Simple

In Times of Struggle

Friesen

• Publisher: Wipf and Stock
• Year: 2016
• eBook ISBN: 9781498279673
• Topic: Psychology
• Subtopic: History & Theory in Psychology
• Index: Psychology

What is Christian about counseling? That far-reaching question is exactly what prompted Dr. Friesen to deepen his study of The Sermon on the Mount. "Is what I do consistent with what Jesus said? This must direct my counseling or it does not qualify as 'Christian.'" He has been seriously engaged in the study of Psychology and Theology since 1974, beginning as a student at the Fuller Theological Seminary Graduate School of Psychology. Having specialized in the teachings of Jesus since 1981, the present book presents a fitting summary of Dr. Friesen's work, bringing all of Jesus' teachings together with what he has learned as a Christian Psychologist. Jesus' teachings are all about him being with us in times of struggle. This book captures that truth in each chapter.Coming from more than twenty years in Bible study groups, Jesus, Clear and Simple: In Times of Struggle includes Life Group discussion guides for each chapter. That is where Jesus' teachings come to life--when two or three or more are gathered together to learn from the Master.

1

Finding the Right Path

Patrick

When he left a message on my voicemail, Patrick said he would like some help today. At the very least, he said, he wants to set an appointment to come in soon.

“My marriage is breaking up.” He could hardly speak.

I called him back right away and said I could see him this afternoon at one thirty.

“I’ll be there.”

I had first met Patrick and his wife some twenty years ago. At that time we diligently sought God’s healing for wounds in their marriage. His yelling fits were a stumbling block. Patrick talked the right counseling talk and quoted the right Bible verses. He genuinely wanted a good marriage, but he was not on the right path, then or now. He had been entrenched in his thinking for his whole adult life. His thoughts went in a different direction than mine about how God might help him. I believed Jesus would provide healing for him and didn’t load him up with Bible verses. Other counselors had tried that. Patrick and I prayed for his wounds, but that did not seem to help very much. When we prayed for his wife’s wounds, she seemed a bit better. As far as I could tell back then, their marriage may have improved a little, but I wasn’t sure. Eventually they stopped coming to see me, and Patrick dropped off of my radar.

Last year Patrick came in to see me again. He didn’t say this, but I believe his wife gave him an ultimatum—get some help, or else . . . He smiled the same smile and quoted the same verses word for word, but he was heavier now, and his hair was grayer. We went over the same childhood stories he had shared with me all those years ago, but this time we found some hopelessness. That was new, but before we got around to working on it, He left me a message, saying, “I can’t come in,” and dropped off of my radar yet again.

Another year has gone by, and now he is back. This time he is seeking help without his wife directing him. He is being pushed by an inner urgency. I know that we will have to work on the hopelessness this time, and it pops up immediately.

“My marriage is never going to get better. I am getting old”—there are pauses between each sentence—“I don’t want to die without being loved. I exercise every morning and have my devotions. Then at breakfast she looks at me with that face.” Perhaps the ensuing pause is for dramatic effect, but it seems he truly cannot put into words what that face tells him day after day.

“It’s always that face.”

“Can you describe it?” No answer. “What does it tell you?”

“She hates me”—a long pause—“She wishes I were not even here”—another pause—“It kills me every day.”

A few short years ago, Patrick tells me, his wife had moved out, and sorrow swept him away. Desperate, he came upon a Bible verse about how God hates divorce and received it as a hopeful message. The two of them started speaking again, over coffee at first, and she soon returned. But the glimmer of hope did not last very long. The same daily routine, the same furious outbursts, and that face returned. Hopelessness gained a prominent place in his heart.

“It is too late. At breakfast this morning, we had it out. She said I am broken, broken, broken and will never be fixed”—pause—“Every week I meet with my pastor for Bible study.”

He had mentioned this last year when we had met briefly, so I ask the obvious question: “You have been meeting with him for some time—is it helping your marriage?”

Barely audible, he whispers, “No,” while staring at the floor.

I begin speaking enthusiastically about Jesus’ promise to give him a fresh start, but my words are falling on deaf ears. The stronghold is firmly entrenched—he cannot be fixed.

“My wife said she was looking through her journals and counted how many counselors she has been to—more than twenty”—another pause—“She has given up.”

Tears well up in his eyes. This is new, but we have only a few minutes left. I want him to find a little hope. I make another attempt to inspire him about having a fresh start with Jesus, saying it would help if he based his entire life on Jesus’ teachings. They are about healing and maturity, as well as a fresh start.

I resist the urge to go into full sermon mode. Still, I want to remain true to what I know about Jesus’ teachings. I know I have to put them into words that can reach a man who has lost all hope.

“You may feel like a water balloon that has popped. You’ve given all you have, and there is nothing left.”

He scans my eyes, as though he is looking for something. He may be guarding against that face, expecting more disapproval.

“Please take Jesus seriously.” My face is glowing. “He will give you a fresh start, and then he will begin to fill up your emptiness. Welcome him, and he will help you. Let’s pray about it.”

Maybe I should be less optimistic. After all, this person has been struggling since he was twelve years old, so why should I believe he will change? Maybe I am the one who is on the wrong path. Yet I must hold on to what I have witnessed. I have seen how God pours his blessing onto those who open up to him. He enters into their struggles and helps them win in the end. Faithfully following Jesus’ life-giving teachings helps people stay on the right path.

Speaking from His Heart

Jesus presented people with gems, from his heart to theirs. His message was freely given treasure, begging to be gathered up, out in the rough Galilean countryside. The young rabbi intrigued his listeners, time and again, placing unforgettable scenes before them—scenes that invited them to enter into his storehouse of wisdom.

“The broad road leads to destruction.”

A person cannot simply dismiss a statement like that. It intimidates entrenched thinking. Popcorn-like questions riddle those who hear it, all day long and for many days to follow: How can I find the gate to the path that leads to life? What must I do to stay on it? Will it lead to easy street or will it be a punishing passageway? Perhaps life on the broad road is not really so bad, but why can’t I get pictures of a narrow path out of my mind? What if I lose my way? What does Jesus mean by destruction?

Jesus’ words cling to a person’s heart like a newborn baby.

“The lilies of the field . . .”

“Treasures in heaven . . .”

“Rich toward God . . .”

“The extra mile . . .”

“A pearl of great price . . .”

“Rest for your soul . . .”

“Living water . . .”

“Faith like a mustard seed . . .”

“The yeast of the Pharisees . . .”

“A millstone around his neck . . .”

“Born again . . .”

Who can proceed with their day as planned with these tantalizing ideas running about in their mind? Jesus’ words invite us to revisit them over and over, urging us to dig deeper.

“Living abundantly . . .”

Can I even hope for that? Is that where the narrow path will lead?

“He who loses his life will find it.”

Why did Jesus put it that way? What does he know that I don’t?

Do not treat Jesus’ gems lightly. Teachings so compelling are worth examination, but it will not be enough for you to read a book about Jesus. Reading will do little more than generate a few new thoughts. I would call on you to plunge deeply into Jesus’ teachings and discuss them in a study group. Become his disciple. Devote yourself to his every word. Follow him all day long. Put his teachings to work in your life, moment by moment.

Here is how Jesus painted an unforgettable scene about putting his teachings into practice:

It is not enough if you just hear my words. You must put them into practice. When your life is built on my teachings, it will be like a wise man who built his house on a solid rock. When the rains came, the streams rose, and the winds beat against the house, it did not fall. Just like him, you will withstand any storm if my teachings are your foundation. But if you hear my words and do not put them into practice, that will be like building your house on sinking sand. When the rains come, and the streams rise, the winds will sweep your house away.1

Commit. Take the plunge. Thoughtfully examine his teachings and let them reach your soul. Find a group where you will be able to discuss them. Build your life on the rock. Then you will be ready for times of struggle.

What do you think will happen if you take this plunge? Giving a little less to Caesar? Looking less often at the speck in your brother’s eye? Storing up treasures in heaven? Dropping some of your baggage in order to squeeze through the narrow gate?

Here is what you can expect: you will be drawn into his kingdom. This is at the center of Jesus’ teaching. He has compassion for us in our mistaken wanderings. His gems are intended t...

Table of contents

• Introduction
• Chapter 1: Finding the Right Path
• Chapter 2: The Dimmer Switch
• Chapter 3: Jesus’ Impact
• Chapter 4: Jesus’ Foundational Teachings about Our Father
• Chapter 5: Healing Prayer
• Chapter 6: The Narrow Path
• Chapter 7: Getting It
• Chapter 8: Connecting the Dots
• Chapter 9: Living from Your Heart
• Chapter 10: The Sermon on the Mount
• Chapter 11: A Framework for Jesus’ Teachings
• References