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Friendship, Faith, and Theology
Graeme Garrett
On the facing page of Karl Barthâs Die Kirchliche Dogmatik I/1 are the words âmeinem Freund Rudolf Pestalozziâ (âto my friend Rudolf Pestalozziâ). The attribution is not incidental for the theology that follows, as the story of this friendship shows. Theology takes place through engagement with a long-standing tradition reaching back to the words of scripture. The defining figures in this tradition loom large in every generationâs development of its theological ideas. But the appropriation and re-interpretation of the tradition rarely takes place apart from a living conversation with particular friends. This is true in my own experience. God, it seems, is best found in life shared with others similarly devoted to listening for God, and speaking to God and about God. Thorwald Lorenzen has been such a friend on my journey. I am not alone in that. In tribute to his capacity for friendship and what it has contributed to the lives of many, I want to reflect on friendship as a theme in theology and on the place friends hold in our human dealings with God.
The remarkable friendship between Dietrich Bonhoeffer and Eberhard Bethge is an illuminating narrative through which to conduct the investigation. This friendship changed the landscape of world theology. Here is compelling evidence of how friendship contributes directly to theological thought and faithful discipleship.
A Rare and Priceless Treasure
Bonhoeffer was twenty-nine and Bethge twenty-six years old when they met on the shores of the Baltic Sea near Zingst at the end of April 1935. Bethge was with a group of twenty-three candidates in training for ministry at one of the illegal seminaries established by the Old Prussian Union Church to replace those closed down by the Reich Church government. On the face of it, they appeared an unlikely pair. Bonhoeffer was Director of the seminary. He hailed from the intellectual aristocracy of Berlin and was confident, erudite, authoritative, and well connected. Bethge was of country origin, son of a Lutheran pastor, born in the little village of Warchau in the district of Magdeburg near Brandenburg, without, as he says, any preparation or ambition âbeyond that of an honest community country pastor.â Ten years later, at the time of Bonhoefferâs execution on April 9, 1945, the two were firm friends whose intimate thoughts, expressed in the now famous Letters and Papers from Prison, were set to become the most transformative theological texts of the post-war period.
The full story of this friendship is yet to be told. But one thing is clear. More than sixty years after his death, Bonhoefferâs thought remains a seemingly inexhaustible source of renewal for Christian life and thought across the world. A major reason for this is Eberhard Bethge. Without Bethgeâs devotion to the preservation, editing, publication, and continuous re-interpretation of his friendâs writings, without his superb biography, âwe would not know or understand Bonhoeffer in the way we do today.â Friendship is the medium through which the voice of Bonhoeffer continues to speak.
Bethge can mediate Bonhoefferâs theology in death because he was an integral part of the conversation that formed the theology in life. The nature of the conversation between the friends is plain for all to see in the letters they exchanged during the time of Bonhoefferâs imprisonment. Nothing is off limitsânothing too trivial to be of interest, nothing too weighty to be a burden. Family, love, gifts, books, ideas, emotions, weather, war, daily life, fear, hope, death, friendship itselfânothing is left unexplored, un-talked-about. The correspondence reveals the unique character of this friendship and the harrowing circumstances in which it was played out. But part of its enduring fascination is that all of us can recognize here the twists, stops, starts, and repetitions of our own talk with close friends. If we wish to see how friendship shapes life and thought, there is no substitute for studying the concrete details of the correspondence itself. But Bonhoeffer sums up its general import in a striking passage from a letter to Bethge dated Christmas Day 1943.
For Bonhoeffer, constructive theological thought and enduring Christian discipleship arise from, or at least are enhanced by, talk with a specific person. Of course Bonhoeffer had many friends. But this friendship had particular characteristics won through a long period, not without struggle. Central to it was the capacity to facilitate imaginative thinking through a mutual, almost playful, exchange of ideas. All the classic Bonhoeffer themesâdiscipleship, community, religionless Christianity, world come of age, God at the center, not the margins, of lifeâare sifted through the give and take of talk. Bonhoeffer is clearly the primary force of articulation. But Bethge is not just an ear. He is an independent voice (âon the same wavelengthâ). As such, he is a catalyst that stimulates theological creativity.
Not only did Bethgeâs friendship contribute essentially to the formulation of Bonhoefferâs theological ideas and then to their dissemination to a wider world. The relationship also gave rise to Bonhoefferâs late and remarkable reflections on the nature of friendshipâthis ârarest and most priceless treasureââand its theological significance.
A Necessary Freedom
Friendship is at best a minor theme in Bonhoefferâs early writings. Of course, he deals with personal relationships in Sanctorum Communio, Life Together, and Ethics, but the focus at that time was mainly on the âbrotherhoodâ [sic] of fellow believers in the church or on marriage and family ties. Where they rate a mention at all, friends tend to be discussed along with issues connected with family relations and obligations. Only in the late writings, especially the letters from prison after 1943, does friendship become a clear theme in its own right. This is no accident. At a time of threat, separated from family and loved ones, Bonhoefferâs relationship with friends, and particularly with Eberhard Bethge, became crucial for his sense of identity and well being. Bonhoeffer never had the opportunity to write an extended treatise on friendship in the classic style of an Aristotle, Cicero or Montaigne, although the influence of that tradition echoes in his thinking. His reflections tumble out in fragments, with tantalizing brevity and often in the midst of other matters of pressing concern. Yet, like so much of Bonhoefferâs later thought, taken together these unfinished jottings are deeply moving and ring true to that human togetherness that goes by the name of friendship.
What Friendship Is Not (Quite)
âIt is by no means easy to classify friendship sociologically,â Bon-hoeffer remarks. There are close relationships between human beings in various spheres of life that have friend-like characteristics but which, in his judgment, do not finally merit the name, for example, kinship (marriage and the family), brother-/sisterhood (shared faith in the life of the sanctorum communio), and comradeship (collegial connections in work or politics). These three kinds of relationship may well display elements that overlap with friendship properâaffection, loyalty, support and so on. However, âMarriage, work, state, and church all have their definite, divine mandate,â he ...