Is There a Heaven for a "G"?

A Pastoral Care Approach to Gang Violence

Danielle J. Buhuro

• Publisher: Resource Publications
• Year: 2017
• Print ISBN: 9781532608513
• eBook ISBN: 9781532608520
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Religion

The moment the pager rings, all hell breaks loose. Across the pager appears the words, "Code Yellow ER: Gun Shot Wound." A chaplain at a Level I trauma center can dread these words. These words mean it's gonna' be a long night. These words mean somebody is probably fighting for their life right now. How does a hospital chaplain provide pastoral care to gang member patients? What are the systemic factors that contribute to gang violence? How does the American culture contribute to gang violence? What is the church called to be and do? Where is the hope? These are just some of the questions that this fast-paced, energetic book tackles, ultimately leaving one to theologically grapple with the question: Is There A Heaven For A 'G' (or Gangster)? Buckle up and get ready for this adrenaline ride. One thing is for certain, after engaging this book, readers won't view gang violence in the same way ever again.

Chapter 1

In Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Talking to the Family

“I’m so sorry for your loss.”

I know I’m not suppose to say this, but I can’t think of anything at the moment. My head is spinning. Sorry means sympathy. But people don’t need sympathy. During times of loss, people need empathy. Sympathy means sorry, but empathy means connection. Hallmark makes tons of money selling cards that are inaccurately phrased, “Sorry for your loss.”

“I can’t believe they killed my baby!”

The mother clutched the deceased body of her thirty-one-week-old baby. He was beautiful. He looked so perfect. Perfect ten fingers. Perfect ten toes. Perfect two ears. Perfect two eyes. Perfect one nose. Curly brown hair. Cute fat cheeks. Adorable little lips. He looked just perfect. But he had a not-so-perfect heart. He looked like he was sleeping. His lifeless body reminded me of the gunshot wound victim in the emergency room.

“Why do you believe the hospital killed your baby?”

“Cuz I was fine when I came in here!”

She begins to cry in anguish. Her husband rises from the couch. He’s wearing a cool shirt, reading “I’m a proud papa!” His legs are shaking. He looks like he’s about to fall any minute now. He places his arm around his wife. They peer at the baby in her arms. Melancholy sets in. Then silence.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

An older woman peeps her head in the room.

“Carmen . . .”

Both mom and dad look up toward the door. The mother yells out a painful scream. My heart sinks. The daughter starts yelling to the top of her lungs.

“Mama! Mataron a mi bebe!”

The older woman gently opens the door and slowly walks over to the bed. She’s rubbing her hands. Her hands are trembling. She’s got a balled up piece of worn tissue in one hand. Tears roll down her eyes. She’s bright red. She begins quietly whispering something to herself.

“Ave Maria llena eres de gracia el Senor es contigo . . .”

I’m regretting the fact that I never paid attention in my high school and college Spanish class. She makes her way to the bed and I figure out that this must be the patient’s mother and the deceased baby’s grandmother. I step to the side so the grandmother can move closer to her daughter. She grabs her daughter’s long curly hair and begins lovingly stroking the solemn mom’s forehead. The husband looks at his mother-in-law with disappointment and failure written all over his face.

“Soy mama lo siento.”

The mother walks to the other side of the bed to embrace the husband. She cups his face in her small frail hands and softly kisses one side of his stoic face.

“It’s ok son, you tried your best.”

Grandma looks at me.

“Who are you?”

I’m shocked that she speaks both Spanish and English.

“My name is Danielle and I’m a chaplain. I came by to provide your daughter and son-in-law with support during this time.”

“Awe. Thank you.”

The grandmother looks at the door. She motions for me to please step outside with her. She looks at her daughter and son-in-law.

“Tenemos que tener el bebé bautizado y bendecido por un sacerdote. Voy a hablar con ella llamando al Padre Michael. Voy a estar en un minuto.”

I wish I knew what she just said. The grandmother grabs my hand and pulls me outside. She smiles at her daughter and gently pulls the door shut. Even though she is frail, she seems so strong. So in control. So matter of fact. Once the door is closed she turns to look at me then . . . BAM! She collapses to the floor, covering her face with her hands. Nurses nearby run over to us. I can’t take it! Not another person passing out on me! A nurse grabs some medical equipment from a drawer nearby.

“Ma’am are you ok?”

I jump in, “She’s ok, just grieving.”

The grandmother sits up and lays against the hospital room door. Her eyes are bloodshot red now. The nurses turn to walk away. One nurse looks empathetically at the grandmother.

“I’ll bring you some more tissue and water.”

“Gracias.”

The grandmother turns her attention to me. She starts whispering.

“They’ve been trying for years now to have a baby. She’s my only daughter and—”

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

I quickly silence my pager with one hand, not looking at it so I can be fully present and not distract the grandmother.

“Do you have to go?”

“It’s ok I can stay for a few more minutes. What were you saying about your daughter?”

“Well I’m 76 years old and she’s my only daughter. Most of my brothers and sisters have died and went on to be with the Lord now. I’ve got only one sister left. She’s got a 21-year-old but she’s so irresponsible we don’t know when she’s gonna settle down. My daughter is our only hope but she has . . . problems!”

The grandmother drops her head and starts to cry again. I wrap my arms around her.

“What type of problems does she have?”

The grandmother begins moaning and groaning.

“She’s no good at making babies!”

I kneel down to sit on the floor next to the grandmother. Didn’t know my job would require this. Glad I’m not wearing any fancy clothes.

“My heart goes out to you and your family. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. How can we support you during this time?”

“I’m never gonna be a grandma! Our family line is gonna die!”

“I have some resources I can provide you and your daughter with ma–”

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

I feel bad having to leave the grandmother in this condition but I’ve ignored this page once and I can’t do it again. Hopefully, no one’s called my vice president and reported me after the first unanswered page. I look at the grandmother.

“I’ll be right back ma’am. I have to return this page.”

I rise from the floor.

“Take your time, baby, I’m not going anywhere.”

She remains seated on the floor.

She pulls out a rosary from around her neck. I walk toward the nurses station to return the page. Unfortunately my portable phone battery is dead now. My phone battery can’t hang like I can, like I must.

“Hi this is Danielle, the chaplain.”

“Yeah Chap, this is public safety, family has finally arrived for that other GSW.”

“I’m on my way.”

Ugggghhhhh I forgot about that. I walk back over to the grandmother of the miscarriage that’s sitting on the floor with her back leaned against the hospital room door. I bend down to talk to the grandmother.

“I can call our on-call priest to baptize and bless your grand baby.”

“That would be great but the baby’s already . . . you know.”

“I understand, we have some priests who are sensitive and still give—”

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

“I’m sorry I must go now.”

I hurriedly pull a piece of paper from my notebook. I’m jittery now.

“There’s a wonderful group called Fertility for Colored Girls that can help.”

I scribble their number and website on the paper.

“Their number is 773–273-9870 and the website is www.fertilityforcoloredgirls.org.”

I almost throw the paper at her and take o...

Table of contents

• Title Page
• Foreword
• Introduction: From Domestic Violence to Gang Violence
• Prologue: All Hell’s about to Break Loose
• Chapter 1: In Between a Rock and a Hard Place
• Chapter 2: A Dream Deferred
• Chapter 3: Connection Is Key
• Chapter 4: Holding Accountability and Educating Gang Member Patients
• Chapter 5: Ending on Empowerment
• Chapter 6: What about Me?
• Chapter 7: Where Do We Go from Here?
• Bibliography