A Table for All

How I Came to Understand that the Gospel Means Full Inclusion of Gays and Lesbians

Neufeld-Erdman

• Publisher: Cascade Books
• Year: 2015
• eBook ISBN: 9781498202862
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Religion

In six brief chapters Chris Neufeld-Erdman sketches the contours of a way Christians can travel the challenging road before us. He thoughtfully argues for a path toward full inclusion of gays and lesbians in the life of the church, but does so in a way that doesn't insist on acceptance of his views. Rather, he charts his own journey of change as well as the way his diverse congregation engaged in real dialog. By engaging the Bible, history, mission, theology, and personal experience, he invites readers to do the same. A veteran pastor, Neufeld-Erdman writes for ordinary Christians, giving readers the feel of being in a conversation around a table of friends who like each other even though they don't all agree. At a time when major denominations are struggling to find ways to engage in constructive dialog, this book may well help struggling congregations and concerned readers find a way forward. The book includes an extended study guide for personal reflection and group exploration.

1

A Testimony and Justification

1. The young man looked into the mirror, smiled nervously, and straightened his tie. It was his wedding day, and for just these few moments, he was alone in the washroom. He breathed deeply and looked himself over. “Well, buddy,” he said out loud, “this is it; this is for real.” As a teenager, he’d babysat my children, been active in our youth group, and worked for several summers at our Presbyterian camp in the California mountains—at one point, living there year-round as part of the camp staff. Over the years, both his parents served on the governing board of our church, leading a number of different ministries. He and his family were as active in the life of the church as any family could be. But when he “came out,” all that changed. Feeling judged and unwelcome among Presbyterians, he’d have left the faith entirely, if not for the Episcopalians. So, when California state law opened the door to marriage equality, he and his fiancé married each other at the local Episcopal church, whose clergy were permitted to marry gay Christians, and where they had been warmly welcomed and gathered in. Even if we Presbyterians hadn’t alienated him, we still, as of early June 2014, had a policy against same-gender marriage. And so, the two young lovers couldn’t get married among the congregation that helped raise him, the people among whom he and his parents and his sister had worshiped and served Jesus Christ.

2. His parents bravely made his wedding public, inviting relatives, friends, and church folk—and no small amount of whispered “concern” about the moral and doctrinal appropriateness of all this ensued. Regardless, a good number of those invited showed up for the celebration, despite their reservations and discomfort. But there were some who refused, on principle, to attend. For those who did attend, it was a remarkable experience. One of our elders told me afterward that he was deeply moved by the ceremony: “The most traditional wedding I’ve ever attended. Right out of the Anglican Book of Common Prayer,” he said. “A liturgy four hundred years old.”

3. The next weekend, another couple associated with our church got married. A man and a woman. A contemporary service. Outside, at a ranch. The only excuse for not attending this wedding was the problem of prior commitments. No one questioned it on principle—that is, morally or doctrinally. No one wondered if this wedding was right and good and faithful. There were no questions asked, period.

4. But for an increasing number of Americans this is changing. Many people I know are asking questions like: Is one of these marriages wrong in the eyes of God and the other right? Do people today really have to hold the line on traditional marriage against dramatic cultural shifts? Does God really want us to continue excluding gays and lesbians from so great a gift as marriage? Could we see things today that our ancestors couldn’t see? Has the time come for us to change our convictions about same-gender marriage much the same way scientists in the sixteenth century changed their views, despite warnings by church officials, about the planets and stars and earth’s relationship to them? And many Christians wonder if the old prohibition against gays and lesbians serving as elders and deacons and pastors still makes sense given the fruitful lives of gay and lesbian friends and family members and coworkers.

5. With new questions in mind and without solid answers, many of those who were once connected to Christianity are dropping out, and those who might otherwise be drawn to Christ are repelled by Christianity. The kind of judgmentalism, hypocrisy, and narrow-mindedness they experience among religious people is a turnoff. On the other hand, there are committed Christians who are motivated by other questions. Deeply alarmed by this cultural shift, they want to know how to stop it and how to save the faith from the moral relativism they see all around them. Some of them are organizing in strong opposition to trends they perceive as morally abhorrent, theologically unsound, and spiritually dangerous. Others, while concerned, are not hostile or vocal in their opposition. Instead, they quietly worry that the church is losing its way. Many of them are praying for a conservative recovery; they want churches where the lines are more clearly drawn, and they’re hoping they can stay put in the congregations they have loved and served. But, frustratingly for them, they don’t see and hear much that gives them any real hope their pastors will guard their flocks from these corrupting moral forces and lead them back to more historic convictions.

6. So we are at a watershed moment. We need solid answers that aren’t mere echoes of the wrangling of the Far Right or Left—the defensive kind of posturing that shadows the polarization current in our nation’s politics. We need thoughtful, grounded reflection born from the struggle of trying to discern the truth in the midst of real dialogue with people across the spectrum, those who hold opposing opinions and differing experiences but who are seeking to live in faithfulness to the ways of God revealed in Jesus Christ.

7. What follows is my attempt to answer this need. It’s essentially a testimony to my growth in understanding both the human drama and the divine desire for wholeness and holiness with respect to homosexuality and the gospel. It’s a witness to my understanding of the nature of homosexuality and the nature of the gospel, the authority of the Bible and its interpretation throughout history, the pastoral needs of LGBT persons and their families, and the missional issues facing the church today. Finally, it’s a witness to my understanding of the theological core of Christianity found in the teachings of Jesus and Saint Paul. It is this core, this rule of faith, that makes it possible for Christians today to keep faith with our historic faith and find in it a vision for the full inclusion of those the church has too long marginalized and excluded. I have come to understand, as Saint Peter so memorably put it, “that God shows no partiality, but in every nation anyone who fear him and does what is right is acceptable to him” (Acts 10:34–35). This is not only true for the Gentiles, who were once excluded from the grace and covenants of God, but also for those whose sexual orientation has for too long distanced them from the wholeness and holiness they seek and need. Gays and lesbians, no less than anyone else, were once far off, but now “have been brought near by the blood of Christ” (Eph 2:13).

8. For a number of Christians, that statement isn’t just off-putting, it’s a deal breaker. In fact, if it offends you, you may well stop reading right here. “Why continue reading something,” you might ask, “if I already know it to be wrong?” Because this issue isn’t going away. Neither is your duty as a Christian to have an answer rooted in your understanding of the gospel. So if you disagree with my position and continue to do so after reading this book, you at least will better understand what you believe and why. What’s more, you will better understand those who hold a different viewpoint from your own, and maybe you will be able to honor them as sisters and brothers in Christ even though you may not like their theology. Saint Paul said, “If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (Rom 12:18), and “in humility regard others as better than yourselves” (Phil 2:3). We Christians must do our best to understand each other, even though we do not always agree with each other.

9. What follows is essentially a story. It won’t always be a narrative; I’ll work on texts and explore history and talk theology, but always in the framework of my own story of change, the opening of my eyes to behold the beauty and power of the gospel, the generosity and compassion of Jesus Christ. It’s not unlike the conversion of Saint Paul or the transformation of Saint Peter. And, as with them, the change happened in and through community—face-to-face with real people struggling to be both human and Christian.

10. The people of my former congregation, University Presbyterian Church, were important in this change and growth. We spent the bulk of 2010 in a congregational study called “The Bible and Homosexuality”—a course attended widely, not only by our own people, but also by interested people from the larger community. Designed by a judge, psychotherapist, church historian, and theologian, it was a strong and balanced study, intended to avoid polarizing people. We wanted to lay out the issues and explore them fully, but not to promote one view over the other. I think it was profoundly important to us and that it did immense good, even though some people left the church because they couldn’t be a part of conversations about what was clearly wrong to them.

11. This disciplined study with that congregation, combined with deeply personal and pastoral encounters with gay and lesbian persons and their families, has brought me to this place of testimony. I offer it up for those who have questions that simply won’t go away, and who are looking for ways to be deeply Christian and broadly welcoming and inclusive. I also offer it to people in congregations who hold traditional and conservative views, but who are genuinely interested in how people like me, firmly committed to Jesus Christ and the Bible, can possibly believe such things. That said, I’ll return to the story . . .

12. For nearly twenty-five years, I’ve been a pastor—guiding, growing, and praying two different congregations into the fullness of Christ’s gospel during a long season of significant global change. I’ve now begun my ministry in the third and possibly last congregation I’ll serve. I love being a pastor, and wouldn’t swap it for anything, but my call to ministry was initially a call to be an evangelist, and I’ve never lost that passion.

13. I was a young man when I was called as an evangelist. A recent business school graduate, I was in charge of marketing operations for a small start-up software company in Denver. I was also a member of the Corona Presbyterian Church. I’d come to faith in Jesus Christ seven years earlier, at the end of my senior year of high school. Up until then I’d been an atheist, staunchly so. I was certain there was no God and that religious people were gullible, foolish, and backward. But atheism gave me no comfort. Humanity was a blip on the screen of cosmic history, an accident of nature. The universe was a zillion years old and filled with billions of stars and planets. In the midst of it all, I was essentially nothing. That reality, added to my teenage angst, left me feeling terribly alone. All that changed suddenly when God broke through and opened me up to the reality of Jesus Christ. Jesus changed my life, and I knew then that in Christ, the light that created the cosmos is available to every lost a...

Table of contents

• Title Page
• Foreword by Dr. Gary Demarest
• Preface by Colleen Townsend Evans
• Chapter 1: A Testimony and Justification
• Chapter 2: The Bible Says It, Does That Settle It?
• Chapter 3: Why We Need History and Reason
• Chapter 4: The Pastoral and Missional Situation
• Chapter 5: The Trajectory of the Greatest Commandment and the New Creation
• Chapter 6: Now What?
• A Guide for Reflection and Conversation
• Bibliography