Finding Your Own Way to Grieve

A Creative Activity Workbook for Kids and Teens on the Autism Spectrum

Karla Helbert

• Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
• Year: 2012
• Print ISBN: 9781849059220
• eBook ISBN: 9780857006936
• Topic: Psychology
• Subtopic: Autism Spectrum Disorders
• Index: Psychology

Children and teenagers with autism can struggle to cope with the loss of a loved one, and the complicated and painful emotions of bereavement. This book explains death in concrete terms that the child with autism will understand, explores feelings that the child may encounter as a part of bereavement, and offers creative and expressive activities that facilitate healing.

With illustrations throughout, this interactive book begins with a simple story about what happens when people die. Each chapter then expands on the issues that have been raised in the story and offers a variety of coping skills exercises including writing, art and craft, cooking, movement, relaxation, and remembrance activities. Encouraging children with autism to express their loss through discussion, personal reflection, and creative activity, the book is ideal for children and teens to work through by themselves, or with the support of a family member or professional.

Chapter 1

When People Die

(A very short story about death)

Everything that lives must die.

Flowers die, trees die, animals die, and people die too.

Dying is a part of life.

People die when their bodies stop working.

This means they do not breathe air anymore.

Their heart stops beating and pumping blood through their bodies.

When people are dead, sometimes they look like they are asleep, but they are not asleep.

The body is there, but it does not wake up.

The body does not need to sleep.

It does not feel pain anymore.

It does not feel cold or hot anymore.

It does not need to eat or drink anymore.

When we see the body, it seems like the person we know is not in that body anymore.

Some people say that the real person we know is not the body, but the “spirit.”

Our bodies hold our spirits while we are alive.

When our bodies die, our spirits leave our bodies just like we can leave a house.

The spirit leaves when the body stops working.

The spirit goes somewhere else.

We don’t know for sure where the spirit goes.

Some people believe that the spirits of people who die go to heaven.

This is a nice place to think of.

It is okay to think of the people we love being in heaven after their bodies are dead.

Heaven would be a very happy and safe place to be.

It is okay to feel sad or even angry when someone we love dies.

When someone we love dies, we miss them.

It is okay to miss the people we love.

When we feel sad or angry we can talk about how we feel with friends, family or others we trust.

We can always remember the people we love who have died.

We can tell other people about them.

We can talk about the fun things we did, the games we played, or the places we visited.

We can look at pictures of them, and pictures of us together when they were alive.

We will always miss them.

We will always love them.

It’s okay to be sad sometimes.

It’s okay to cry sometimes.

But we can be happy too, and it’s okay!

Chapter 2

Dying is a Part of Life

Everything that lives must die.

Flowers die, trees die, animals die, and people die too.

Dying is a part of life.

Every living thing is different, but every living thing must someday die. Dying is a natural part of life. Usually, people do not die until they have lived many years. All animals and people have a lifespan, which is the expected, average time that a particular species of any animal, including humans, will live. The lifespan of a person is usually about 80 years. This is only an average. Some people may die much earlier or much later. The oldest known person at the time of this writing lived 122 years and 164 days. Sometimes people and animals die before a natural lifespan is completed, due to illness or injuries that cannot be cured or healed. People of all ages can die because of illness, injury, disease or accidents. This can happen at any age. Sometimes children die. Sometimes little babies can die. Babies can die at birth, or sometimes even before they are born. It is rarer for babies and older children to die than for adults and older people, but it does happen.

When babies and children die, it can seem even sadder than when an older person dies. This is because people usually feel that it seems very unfair that a little baby, a child, or a very young person will not get a chance to live what people call a “full life.” This means that they did not get a chance to grow u...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Endorsement
• Of Related Interest
• Title
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Contents
• Acknowledgements
• Letter to the Reader
• For Parents, Caregivers, Teachers, and Therapists
• Some Tips for Suces when Doing Crafts, Art or Cooking Projects
• Chapter 1: When People Die: (A very short story about death)
• Chapter 2: Dying is a Part of Life
• Chapter 3: People Die When Their Bodies Stop Working
• Chapter 4: Heaven Would Be a Very Happy and Safe Place to Be
• Chapter 5: It’s Okay to Feel Sad, or Even Angry, When Someone We Love Dies
• Chapter 6: It’s Okay to Miss the People We Love
• Chapter 7: We Can Talk to Others about How We Feel
• Chapter 8: We Can Always Remember the People We Love Who Have Died
• Chapter 9: We Will Always Miss Them
• Glossary
• How to Find Help and Suport
• Chosing a Therapist
• Grief Resources
• Journaling and Art Space