Insights In-Between

A Ministry Student’s Perspective on Youth Ministry

Jacob Winn

• Publisher: Resource Publications
• Year: 2019
• Print ISBN:
  9781532671883
  9781532671890
• eBook ISBN:
  9781532671906
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Christian Church

This book showcases the perspective and insights of a youth ministry servant who is also a ministry school student. Combining theological understanding with personal anecdotes, the author lays out his view on a number of different topics, all relating to youth ministry and the challenges faced therein, from the standpoint of someone who is in between clergy and laity, neither an insider nor an outsider in the world of ministry.

1

When the “Bad Kids” Get Marginalized

My Thoughts

In nearly every gathering of youth, at least one student is singled out in some spoken or unspoken way as the “bad kid.” Sometimes, multiple students get this undesirable reputation. The reaction toward these characters is generally the same. After a few attempts at some manner of initial outreach, slowly but surely people withdraw, leaving the rejected young person on the margins. I have been guilty of marginalizing so-called “bad kids” in this way. In my younger days, I suffered some exclusion myself.

The key to resolving this painful group dynamic is to dissolve the stereotype of the “bad kid” among our youth. The very notion of a “bad kid” has some similarities to the old idiom of the “black sheep” in a family or among friends. In both cases, an outsider to a group is regarded as an aberration of an unstated norm—someone who deserves to be shunned and sidelined. The sheep metaphor instantly reminds me of how God is sometimes described through shepherd imagery. Like a shepherd who leaves the ninety-nine sheep behind in order to find the one who has gone astray, so God actively seeks out the “black sheep” and the “bad kid” (Matthew 18:12–14). God does the exact opposite of what we in the church often do. Shouldn’t we imitate God? We should welcome the outcast. Let us, with love, search for the “bad kids,” as God searches for the missing sheep.

In ministry and as Christians, it is advisable to behave in a Christlike manner toward everyone, certainly toward all the youth, and especially toward those whom some may consider “bad kids.” The so-called “bad” people are just like us. Is a boat with fifty small holes in it any more seaworthy than a boat with a massive break in its hull? No. Even if we may presume that we have fewer “holes” in our character than the so-called “bad people,” whom some are tempted to see as massively broken, in truth we are all faulty vessels in relation to God. We are all dependent on the love of Christ to keep us afloat. It is Jesus Christ’s calm presence on the boat, as we may recall, which calms our fears and the storms of life (Mark 4:35–41). Even if we don’t consciously hold a view of ourselves as superior to others, or actively boast that we have fewer flaws than those other broken boats (i.e., the “bad kids”), such arrogance can still creep into our subconscious and influence our actions. We must examine our hearts, and try to remove our biases.

Far from simply making an internal evaluation and pondering through our best intentions, this practice of compassion toward the “bad kids” should translate into decisive action. By extending a Christlike helping hand to those who are struggling (with any number of difficulties), we can help to break down the walls that separate the so-called “good” and “bad” kids.

The compassion of Jesus toward outsiders is our greatest example. Jesus was known for causing scandal by associating with the “wrong” people. The upper echelons of society so looked down upon the “sinners” (e.g., prostitutes, juvenile delinquents, thieves, and other misfits) that they were appalled that Jesus would not only associate himself but actually have dinner with this “bad” group (Mark 2:16). When was the last time we associated with people who had such a reputation for being outcasts that in-crowd people were all aghast to find us in their presence? When was the last time we were known for going out of our way to associate with the “bad kids”?

If, as a minister, or just as a believer, you are unafraid to associate with this kind of youth, then you are on the right path. Unfortunately, not all of us make a habit of this behavior, even though it is clearly the Christlike option. Social pressure is a powerful dissuader. Nonetheless, we must look to the example of Christ, so that social pressure never usurps the will of God. If the so-called “insiders” turn on us because of our love for the outsiders, then so be it. We may rest assured that we are loving as Jesus loves. Let us remain undaunted by any dangers or penalties for such compassion.

Our love for others must never be contingent on selfish motives—like what we can gain from showing love or how the love may benefit us personally. If we are wanting social standing and recognition from love, then we are misguided in the first place. If our love is an outpouring of the love that Christ has poured into us, however, then this love will identify us as people of faith. We place faith in a greater power of love, to which the passing fancies of this present world (such as social recognition) cannot be compared.

The “bad kids” often get left out of our ministries. We see them as too odd, too coarse, or too dangerous. This is a horribly misguided way to look at things. We must replace the limited vision of our human perception with the unlimited vision of Jesus. We must replace our biases, fears, and hatred with the pure love of Christ. So many wander around like the one sheep that left the ninety-nine. The love of Christ shepherds them even in their wandering. Christ is present with them already, and thus, since we are Christians, we should follow Christ. We should be with the outcasts, as that is where Christ can be found.

The “bad kids” among our youth deserve our care. We should be willing to seek them out with Christlike love. We should never let them become ostracized because of our own fear for our reputations. We are all flawed, in our own ways. Christ’s love overcomes these flaws, for each of us. Therefore, we should never act superior to the youth who get labelled as “bad.” Instead, we must always extend Christlike compassion to the outcasts in our churches and communities.

My Experience

My Youth Experience

In my middle school years, there was a group of students at the church I attended who were known for their rough exterior. These were the kids from the proverbial wrong side of the tracks. These kids acted out, created issues, spoke coarsely, and engaged in questionable activities. For many of their church leaders, these factors were dealbreakers. Instead of reaching out to those students, the leaders washed their hands of them. The students were tolerated, rather than ministered to.

The kids I knew personally from among that group were actually wonderful people. They were not perfect, of course, but neither am I. (In truth, who is, except God?) Beneath their tough exteriors, they were people who knew compassion, loyalty, and love. The “rough” students were far from being the band of brigands that they were often painted as being. They were just as caring and empathetic as many within the in-crowd group at that church. Many of the outsiders were perhaps even more compassionate than their revered peers.

Unfortunately, most of the leaders in that church were never able to see these students for who they truly were. This reality caused me to feel dejected, for I knew the truth that I was no better than those “outcasts.” If they were objects of such shunning, what made me deserve any better? What made anyone deserve any better?

My Servant Experience

Recently, I attended a large gathering of several youth groups. Many interesting people attended, from a variety of different backgrounds. I came to this gathering with a group of students, but while there I made new connections as well.

I met one group of students, in particular, from another church a few states away. Before very long, we became friends. I spent a lot of time with them during the week. These fast friends of mine were outsiders, in their own way. Though rather crude and offensive to some, these youth did not repel me. I saw through their rough exteriors. How they were acting, that week, did not truly represent who they were. In my many conversations with them, I learned that they were actually a very nice bunch of fellows. One even wanted to be a pastor. Another told me about how tough things were in the city they were from and how they would be kept up some nights by the sound of gunshots. This was an experience not shared by many at that conference.

Many at that conference looked down upon this group, regarding them as outcasts. I was reminded throughout that week of how Jesus never feared to associate with so-called outcasts. I enjoyed my time with the group. My experience taught me the importance of giving everyone a chance. When a person does so, great treasures may be uncovered. God’s kingdom belongs to the outcasts.

Closing Question

What can we do to break down the systems in our midst that tend to create in-crowds and out-crowds?

2

The Union of Optimism and Honesty

My Thoughts

The world can be a difficult place. Most everyone feels downtrodden at times, and youth are no exception. Many things can bring a person down, from the political climate and wars, to issues at home and in relationships. These burdens can be crushing to a young person’s happiness. However, Christ offers us hope in the midst of all our struggles. This hope can be championed in our youth ministries.

Holding onto hope and a positive outlook is not easy for everyone to sustain. We are all human beings, after all, and troubles can easily make their way to our doors. Some would propose that we hide our struggles from the youth, so that younger people will not be discouraged by the difficulties of their older siblings in the faith. This reasoning is understandable, since we would not want the faith of our youth to waver because they witness our dire straits. If we make a policy of never showing our struggles, however, and if we choose to portray ourselves as people who are never troubled by life’s difficulties, then we may create untrustworthy images of ourselves. Our false image of constant tranquility could be catastrophic to the faith that young people place in us. Thus, I do not advocate committing to an optimism about life that is not grounded in the reality of struggle. We can, and do face struggles in this world—and these struggles will persist through life.

Some would suggest an opposite strategy for youth ministries. This approach would have us repeatedly and unendingly focus on our struggles. In this vein, we could use our unfiltered difficulties to showcase how the world is a challenging place. Youth will then not be surprised when they encounter such difficulties as well. This method of reasoning is understandable to some degree, as it counters the “fake Christian” stereotype, where a believer pretends to have nothing but happiness in life, with no problems. This method of reasoning, however, goes to the other extreme. As a remedy for the difficulties of the world that it so readily acknowledges, this approach may point young believers away from this world entirely, and towards God’s perfect world, which is far greater than the one we currently find ourselves in. While there is certainly some truth to the idea that God’s perfect realm far surpasses our own, this perspective could lead to an unhealthy worldview. Despite its faults, our current world has been created by God, and goodness still exists here. A steady diet of pessimism about our current home could ca...

Table of contents

• Title Page
• Acknowledgements
• Introduction
• Chapter 1: When the “Bad Kids” Get Marginalized
• Chapter 2: The Union of Optimism and Honesty
• Chapter 3: Striving to be Peacemakers
• Chapter 4: Encouraging Curiosity
• Chapter 5: Eccentricities are Blessings
• Chapter 6: Compassionate Actions
• Chapter 7: The Voices of Our Youth
• Chapter 8: Hellfire
• Chapter 9: Christians and Nature
• Chapter 10: Collective Sin
• Chapter 11: Exploring Scripture Boldly
• Chapter 12: Love and Obedience
• Chapter 13: Christ’s Love on Display
• Chapter 14: Passion for Our Calling
• Appendix