To What Miserable Wretches Have I Been Born?
eBook - ePub

To What Miserable Wretches Have I Been Born?

Revenge Poetry for Babies and Toddlers

  1. 112 pages
  2. English
  3. ePUB (mobile friendly)
  4. Available on iOS & Android
eBook - ePub

To What Miserable Wretches Have I Been Born?

Revenge Poetry for Babies and Toddlers

About this book

 Q: How do you breed contempt?
A: Have a baby.

 Hey. It’s me. Your baby. Let me say, first off, that I love you. I do. You’re a great parent. You do a lot of things right. I know how devoted you are to me and how invested you are in hitting this whole parenting thing out of the playground. Okay. Now that I’ve given you the validation I know you need, let’s get a few things clear . . .

I’m not as innocent as you think I am. You don’t realize it because you’re blinded by my sweet good looks, but I am aware of way more than I can convey. I feel more than I can express. I have more going on in my soft, little baby brain than you could possibly imagine. Until now. The book you’re holding finally reveals the complexities and nuances of my life so far. From my point of view.

Unapologetic.

Unplugged.

Unswaddled.

Be warned . . . it’s not always adorable.

Trusted by 375,005 students

Access to over 1.5 million titles for a fair monthly price.

Study more efficiently using our study tools.

Information

Publisher
Atria Books
eBook ISBN
9781451660678
Year
2012

Table of contents

  1. Cover
  2. Description
  3. Author Bio
  4. Title Page
  5. Copyright Page
  6. Dedication
  7. Contents
  8. Publisher’s Note
  9. Chapter 1: Have You Thought This Through?
  10. Chapter 2: Where Are My Hands??!!??
  11. Chapter 3: Cry Guide
  12. Chapter 4: Some Changes Around Here
  13. Chapter 5: A Piece of Me
  14. Chapter 6: Nipple Confusion
  15. Chapter 7: Tummytime
  16. Chapter 8: You Can’t Handle the Truth
  17. Chapter 9: Big Blue Ball
  18. Chapter 10: The Conditions of Unconditional Love
  19. Chapter 11: Same Old, Same Old
  20. Chapter 12: Giving You What You Need
  21. Chapter 13: Creative Solutions
  22. Chapter 14: Who’s Right Is Right and Who’s Wrong Is . . .
  23. Chapter 15: The Middle of the Night
  24. Chapter 16: Fussy Loves Company
  25. Chapter 17: My Window
  26. Chapter 18: Attachment Parenting
  27. Chapter 19: The Spice of Life
  28. Chapter 20: Thinking Inside the Box
  29. Chapter 21: Just Go Already
  30. Chapter 22: First Visit to the Doctor
  31. Chapter 23: Another Lost Sock
  32. Chapter 24: What the Fuck Is That?
  33. Chapter 25: You Cry It Out, Bitches
  34. Chapter 26: I’ve Never Seen This Man Before in My Life
  35. Chapter 27: I Won’t Dance . . . Don’t Ask Me
  36. Chapter 28: Styling My Self
  37. Chapter 29: One of the Annoying Things About You
  38. Chapter 30: I’m Not Okay
  39. Chapter 31: People Are Strange
  40. Chapter 32: A Little Space Here?
  41. Chapter 33: Tata & Gampy
  42. Chapter 34: Tee(vee)riffic
  43. Chapter 35: Walking a Fine Line
  44. Chapter 36: You’re Starting to Scare Me
  45. Chapter 37: Cease and Desist
  46. Chapter 38: Building Our Community
  47. Chapter 39: More Fiber in My Diet
  48. Chapter 40: To What Miserable Wretches Have I Been Born?
  49. Chapter 41: On a Short Leash
  50. Chapter 42: Suck It
  51. Chapter 43: iConfess
  52. Chapter 44: My Feelings About My Feelings
  53. Chapter 45: The Sounds of Being Humiliated
  54. Chapter 46: Me Do
  55. Chapter 47: NO
  56. Chapter 48: A Battle of Wills
  57. Chapter 49: You What??!!??
  58. Chapter 50: All in Good Time
  59. Chapter 51: Meaningful Consultation
  60. Acknowledgments
  61. Endnote