Because I Said So

And Other Tales from a Less-Than-Perfect Parent

Dawn Meehan

• Publisher: Howard Books
• Year: 2011
• eBook ISBN: 9781451613933

Yes, there are times when it's appropriate to reason with your child, to patiently and eloquently explain why he or she needs to do as you ask. You might present convincing arguments like "Because it makes you strong"; "Because it will keep you safe"; "Because it's good for you"; "Because it's bad for you." But there are times when the only thing that really makes sense is... "Because I said so!!" This book is a hilarious, honest romp through motherhood—the joys, the sleeplessness, the frazzled days, the unending carpooling, the in-house refereeing, the dieting (yeah, right), the worrying—and did we say, the joy? Here's what some of that joy looks like—with excerpts straight from the book: • I tried to do the Buns of Steel video, but quickly realized that it wasn't intended for people who have buns of pudding. • I felt like my head might explode. I kind of hoped it would so I could take a nice, peaceful ambulance ride out of there. • I was a little at a loss. I mean, those parenting books don't tell you how to break up a fight over an imaginary friend. • Moms aren't allowed to get sick more than one day a year. Single moms aren't allowed to get sick ever. • Before you have children you can't imagine yourself saying things like "Don't put chocolate milk in your pants, " "Take the hot dog out of your nose, " or "Because I said so!" If you're a mom-to-be or a mom in the trenches, you'll love knowing that you're not the only one out there who sometimes just figures it out as you go along—and sometimes can't figure it out at all. But in the end, Dawn has these words of encouragement just for you: "Enjoy this time. Even when they make you crazy, these are the best days of your life." And they really are, aren't they?

Table of contents

• Cover
• Back Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication
• Contents
• Introduction: Things Happen for a Reason
• Chapter One: Baseball and Other Hazards of Having Kids
• Chapter Two: Shopping with Kids: The Final Frontier
• Chapter Three: I Was the Perfect Parent Until I Had Kids
• Chapter Four: You Mean the Toilet Paper Doesn’t Automatically Replace Itself?
• Chapter Five: This Is Why I Have Gray Hair
• Chapter Six: Yes, They’re All Mine
• Chapter Seven: How I Lost Two Hundred Pounds and Kept It Off
• Chapter Eight: My Three Sons
• Chapter Nine: The Reason I Haven’t Quit (Yet)
• A Conversation with Dawn Meehan