White House Confidential

The Little Book of Weird Presidential History

Gregg Stebben, Austin Hill

• Publisher: Skyhorse
• Year: 2016
• Print ISBN: 9781510714199
• eBook ISBN: 9781510714205
• Topic: History
• Subtopic: Political Biographies
• Index: History

An irreverent look at Presidential foibles, follies, fibs, and moral failures Were past presidents smarter, more honest, and better behaved that those we elect today? Don't bet on it! White House Confidential shows that commanders-in-chief have been lying, cheating, stealing, and womanizing from the days of the Founding Fathers. Focusing on the qualities that never made it into White House press releases, the authors look at their sexual misdeeds and strange family relationships, scandals that engulfed administrations, fights with enemies, and questionable money matters. Dip into these pages to find out: Which president was famous for being the richest man alive because of all his brilliant real estate deals?
Which president was born in Canada, and was ineligible to hold the office of president?
Which president caused some problems by trying to grow "strange herbs" in the White House garden?
Which president often ordered White House staff to rub Vaseline into his scalp while he ate breakfast in bed?
Which president often called his deputy chief of staff "Turd Blossom"?Updated with new material about many presidents including George W. Bush and Barack Obama, White House Confidential will have you laughing (and sometimes cursing!) as you take a second look at the next occupant of the Oval Office.

1

WEIRD FAMILY VALUES!

HOW’S THIS FOR WEIRD:

Franklin Delano Roosevelt married
his fifth cousin, Eleanor Roosevelt.
At the wedding Eleanor was given away
by her uncle—Theodore Roosevelt,
president of the United States.

For FDR and Eleanor, though…

This was just the beginning of a lifetime of weirdness that involved mistresses, lesbians, and live-in lovers right there at the White House.

Most people would agree that the best way to avoid getting caught when having an affair is to have it with someone your spouse doesn’t know. Guess no one told FDR that—his first mistress was Lucy Mercer, Eleanor’s social secretary.

When Eleanor found out FDR was having an affair, she offered to let him out of their marriage. But FDR didn’t take her up on it; he knew his mistress Lucy, being Catholic, would never marry a man who was divorced. Oh, and there might have been one other small reason why FDR didn’t want to divorce Eleanor: he knew that if he did, his mother would cut him off from the family fortune.

After he and Lucy got caught, FDR had to find a new mistress. “Hey, I’ve got a great idea!” he might have thought to himself, “Maybe I’ll go look for one down in the secretarial pool!” But you can’t say he didn’t learn from experience—instead of having an affair with Mrs. Roosevelt’s new secretary, he had his next affair with a new secretary of his own. Her name was Missy LeHand, and everyone in the Roosevelt family—Eleanor and all six kids—knew about the relationship. Of course, it would have been impossible for them not to know—Missy was living with the president right there at the White House.

Obviously the president and Missy had to show some decorum. That’s why Missy had her own set of rooms—a living room, bedroom, and bath—at the White House, although she could frequently be seen sitting on the president’s lap in the Oval Office at night or in her bathrobe in the president’s own suite. Lady that she was, however, Missy was always gone by breakfast.

In the meantime, Eleanor embarked on a strange, “secret” life of her own that first involved a rough-hewn, cigar-chomping reporter from the Associated Press. Lorena Hickok was her name, and she and Eleanor were lovers (spiritually, if not physically) for more than ten years.

Eleanor and “Hick,” as Lorena was often called, had their own bizarre living arrangements at the White House. The two women had separate rooms across the West Hall and could often be seen running back and forth from one another’s quarters.

Eleanor was a good sport about FDR’s living arrangements with Missy—after all, it had been going on since he was governor of New York. On the other hand, the president wasn’t crazy about having Hick hanging around. One day, he stormed through the White House yelling, “I want that woman kept out of this house!” From that point on, the White House maids and Eleanor did everything they could to keep the president and Hick apart.

The weird story of the Roosevelts has many endings, by the way—but not all of them are happy:

• While living at the White House with Eleanor, Lorena Hickok fell in love with another woman and moved out.

• Missy LeHand suffered a cerebral hemorrhage, had to be hospitalized, and then died.

Oh, happy day!

* * *

FDR’s first Inauguration Day, that is. And why shouldn’t it have been happy? After all, FDR knew his wife would be there. And he knew that his lover, Missy LeHand, would be there. And he knew (but kept it a secret from both Eleanor and Missy) that his former lover, Lucy, would be there too.

Not that Eleanor would have noticed—after all, she spent the night before the inauguration at a hotel with Hick and, like a young schoolgirl in love, wore Hick’s sapphire ring on her finger as she attended the festivities of the day.

Lovers?
Or just very good friends?

* * *

Some have said that Eleanor’s attachment to strong women like Lorena Hickok was emotional but not physical. Following is a letter Eleanor sent to Hick in 1933—you be the judge:

“Good-night, dear one. I want to put my arms around you and kiss you at the corner of your mouth. And in a little more than a week now—I shall.”

• Shortly after Missy fell ill, the husband of FDR’s old flame, Lucy Mercer, had a devastating stroke, so she and FDR “took up” again.

• It was Lucy Mercer, not Eleanor, who was with FDR when he died of a stroke in 1945.

• Perhaps in these cases, money speaks louder than words. When FDR died his estate was worth an estimated $1.9 million. He left half of that to his wife, Eleanor, and the other half to cover Missy LeHand’s medical bills. There wasn’t a cent left over for Lucy Mercer.

LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT ANOTHER ROOSEVELT

Teddy Roosevelt’s wife, Alice, and his mother both died on the same day: January 14, 1884. His mother died of typhoid; his wife died of Bright’s disease three days after giving birth to daughter Alice.

Three years later Teddy married an old childhood friend, Edith. Together they had five children.

Unlike his naughty nephew, Teddy didn’t feel a need to run wild. Instead he was a devoted family man. Yet the Teddy Roosevelt White House was almost as much a zoo as FDR’s White House because Teddy got great joy from indulging his children’s every whim:

• Teddy allowed his kids to keep a few pets, including ten dogs named Susan, Skip, Scamp, Sailor Boy, Peter, Manchu, Allen, Gem, Jessie, and Bill; a horned toad named Bill; four guinea pigs named Bob Evans, Father Grady, Dewey Jr., and Dewey Sr.; a blue macaw named Eli Yale; Emily Spinach, a garter snake; two ponies named Algonquin and Fidelity; a badger named Josiah; two cats named Tom Quartz and Slippers; a bear named Jonathon Edward; a lion; and a one-legged rooster.

• Every member of Teddy’s family owned a pair of stilts—and that included the First Lady.

• Edith Roosevelt was so well coordinated and so good at playing different games and sports that young Quentin once said of her, “I’ll bet Mother was a boy when she was little.”

• When Archie Roosevelt was sick in bed with the measles, Teddy saw nothing wrong with letting sons Kermit and Quentin sneak Algonquin the pony up the White House elevator to visit him.

• Daughter Ethel was a notorious tomboy; one of her favorite things to do was to sit on cookie sheets and slide down the White House steps.

Teddy and Alice

* * *

After daughter Alice interrupted one of his meetings at the White House one day, Teddy threw up his arms in resignation and swore, “I can be president of the United States, or I can control Alice. I cannot possibly do both.”

Did FDR treat his dog better than his wife?

* * *

Fala was a little Scottish terrier FDR took with him everywhere (although he certainly didn’t extend the same invitation to Eleanor). To the press and public Fala was known as “The Informer” because wherever FDR traveled—even if his plans were secret because of the war—Fala had to be walked at every train stop and thus gave the president’s “secret” presence away.

Will Hillary Clinton be America’s
SECOND “Mrs. President?”

The wife of President John Adams
(the second president of the United States)
had so much influence on her
husband during his term in office
from 1797 to 1801 that most
people referred to her as
“Mrs. President.”

“I’ve committed adultery in my heart…”

—JIMMY CARTER, IN AN INTERVIEW WITH PLAYBOY MAGAZINE

“Dan Quayle would rather play golf than have sex any day!”

—MARILYN QUAYLE

Jefferson’s Legacy

Whether lusting inside one’s
heart or lusting inside the White House,
it didn’t begin with Jimmy Carter.
In fact, Thomas Jefferson, the man
who is called our greatest president
by many, was also the first to face
charges of sexual misconduct.
P.S. Many historians now agree
that Jefferson was the father of several
illegitimate children.

IT’S THE STRANGE CASE OF THOMAS JEFFERSON

Was he a devoted and faithful husband?

Or the kind of guy who likes to mess around with married women and young girls?

The Thomas Jefferson Story, Part One

In the beginning there was Betsey Walker. She was pretty and vivacious, and she was also married to Thomas Jefferson’s good friend, William George Walker.

Jefferson was such a good friend of the bride and groom the couple asked him to be a member of their wedding party. Not only that, but Thomas Jefferson was such a trusted confidant and buddy to William George that when it was time for him to name an executor of his will, Jefferson was William George’s choice.

But then things went awry—terribly awry. On the eve of leaving town for four months to help negotiate a treaty with the Indians at Fort Stanwix, William George took his good friend and neighbor aside and asked him to keep an eye on his wife while he was gone. Little did William George know that Jefferson actually had the hots for his wife and that Jefferson would make a pass at her while he was away.

Only years later as the Walkers were rewriting their wills did William George learn of Jefferson’s attempted seduction of his wife; it happened when he told Betsey he intended to keep Jefferson as the executor of his will. She was appalled and told him of the incident from years ago.

The Thomas Jefferson Story, Part Two

At the age of tw...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Contents
• Foreword
• Introduction
• A Couple of Small Disclaimers
• 1. Weird Family Values!
• 2. Sex!
• 3. Scandal!
• 4. Impeachment!
• 5. Fights!
• 6. Money!
• 7. Prophecy!
• 8. Death!
• 9. Goofballs!
• 10. Veeps!
• 11. Executive Privilege(s)!
• 12. Take This Job and Shove It!
• Conclusion
• Appendix A: What’s in a Name?
• Appendix B: Presidential Firsts
• Appendix C: The George Washington Conspiracy
• Acknowledgments