HélÚne Cixous
Oy!
â You Mustnât Say That â
Translated by Eric Prenowitz
Characters: Selma Meyer, 89: the elder sister
Jenny Meyer, 86: the younger sister
On their return from OsnabrĂŒck, Hanover.
In the kitchen, Paris.
SELMA (to Jenny)
Listen to me. Hack die Leber. Again! That German again! Chop the liver! Understand?
JENNY
Ja
SELMA
Stop! Wait for it to cool
JENNY
But it is cool! I did wait
SELMA
So get chopping! Let me tell you something: OsnabrĂŒck, thatâs it! They wonât get me again
JENNY
I donât know why we went back after fifty years itâs idiotic
SELMA
Donât mash it with the fork. We could have refused
JENNY
Iâm mashing it with the machine. Youâre the one who accepted. At our age we can refuse anything
SELMA
Blaming everything on my eighty-nine years, I donât like that. Iâm still driving. Donât mash it too much!
JENNY
Laisse-moi faire. Jâen ai fait du LeberhĂ€ckele depuis soixante-dix ans jâen ai fait!
SELMA
On mâa fait le coup plusieurs fois: « Ă presque quatre-vingt-dix ans vous ne pouvez pas refuser. Vous deux, nos derniĂšres juives. Vous devez Ă©duquer nos jeunes. »
JENNY
Câest drĂŽle plus tu es vieille plus tu dois.
SELMA
Les deux soeurs Meyer qui les connaĂźt Ă OsnabrĂŒck? Notre Ă©poque a totalement disparu.
Je nâaime pas ça, aller survivre. Je ne dois rien Ă lâAllemagne
JENNY
Je mets de lâail?
SELMA
De lâail! Du bist ja ganz verrĂŒckt! On nâest pas des paysans de la campagne ici! Laisse ça, je vais finir. La derniĂšre main. Je vais te dire une chose que je ne voulais pas te dire: tout le monde est raciste, il y a au moins douze racismes, des racistes tu en trouves partout.
JENNY
Moi je ne lâavais pas remarquĂ©
SELMA
Sur les bancs du parc dans le train, surtout chez les bouchers, tous des racistes, tu peux rien faire sans quâil en tombe Ă poignĂ©es comme des cheveux dans la soupe.
JENNY
Tu me reproches de perdre mes cheveux!
SELMA
Je te reproche de ne pas porter une perruque, surtout dans la cuisine. Regarde ça, des cheveux dans le pùté.
JENNY
Let me do it. Iâve made some LeberhĂ€ckele in seventy years Iâve made my share!
SELMA
Theyâve tried it on me more than once: âAt nearly ninety years old you canât refuse. The two of you, our last Jews. You must educate our youth.â
JENNY
Funny, the older you get the more you owe.
SELMA
The two Meyer sisters who knows them in OsnabrĂŒck? Our era has totally disappeared.
I donât like that sort of thing, to go survive for them. I owe nothing to Germany
JENNY
Should I add some garlic?
SELMA
Garlic! Du bist ja ganz verrĂŒckt! Weâre not peasants from the countryside! Leave it, Iâll finish. The last touch. Iâm going to tell you something I didnât want to tell you: everyone is racist, there are at least a dozen kinds of racism, there are racists everywhere.
JENNY
I hadnât noticed that
SELMA
On park benches in the train, especially at the butcherâs, racists, every last one of them, you canât lift a finger without handfuls of them dropping like a hair into your soup.
JENNY
Donât blame me for losing my hair!
SELMA
I blame you for not wearing a wig, especially in the kitchen. Look: a hair in the liver.
JENNY
Au moins câest les miens. A OsnabrĂŒck il y avait aussi cette dame chauve dans le cafĂ©, tu te rappelles son nom on sâest souri.
SELMA
Frau Knoll la pharmacienne. Son mari était directeur à Theresienstadt.
JENNY
On a mangĂ© des crĂȘpes lâune en face de lâautre on sâest regardĂ©es et elle mâa souri. Entre chauves dames.
SELMA
On sentait quâelle avait des difficultĂ©s Ă joindre les deux bouts de son budget. Mais moi jâaurais Ă©vitĂ© de lui sourire.
JENNY
Câest elle qui a commencĂ©. AprĂšs on dit: la Juive, elle se croit fiĂšre, elle ne veut pas sourire.
SELMA
Câest pour ça. On finit quand mĂȘme par sourire aux nazis et ça nâa plus de fin. Si jâavais su, je ne serais pas retournĂ©e Ă OsnabrĂŒck. Je nâĂ©tais pas retournĂ©e, pendant quarante ans ça ne mâa pas gĂȘnĂ©e, je pensais toujours on ne devrait jamais retourner en arriĂšre
JENNY
On nâa pas pu faire autrement. On nous a invitĂ©es. On nous a obligĂ©es.
SELMA
Toi tu mâas obligĂ©e, comme dâhabitude, dĂšs quâil y a une invitation, Jenny doit accepter.
JENNY
Mais câest toi qui mâas Ă©crit si je veux venir aussi.
SELMA
Je nâavais pas envie de retourner seule.
JENNY
At least itâs mine. In OsnabrĂŒck there was also that bald lady in the cafĂ©, do you remember her name we smiled at each other.
SELMA
Frau Knoll the pharmacist. Her husband was the director of Theresienstadt.
JENNY
We were eating crepes across from each other our eyes met and she smiled at me. One bald lady to another.
SELMA
You could see she was having trouble making ends meet. But if it had been me, Iâd have avoided smiling at her.
JENNY
She started it. Afterwards they say: the Jew she thinks sheâs proud, she doesnât want to smile.
SELMA
Thatâs why. You end up smiling at Nazis and thereâs no end to it. Had I known, I wouldnât have returned to OsnabrĂŒck. I hadnât been back, for forty years it didnât bother me, I always thought one should never return to the past
JENNY
We couldnât have done otherwise. We were invited. We were obliged.
SELMA
Itâs you who obliged me to go, as usual, as soon as thereâs an invitation, Jenny has to accept.
JENNY
But youâre the one who wrote me if I want to come along.
SELMA
I didnât feel like going back alone.
JENNY
Et toi tu as trouvĂ© le programme de la Mairie trĂšs intĂ©ressant. On a Ă©tĂ© au théùtre dâOsnabrĂŒck et on jouait Die Dreigroschenoper. Et lâhĂŽtel tu mâas dit câest le meilleur celui qui Ă©tait sur la place de la CathĂ©drale. Il y a un grand buffet pour le petit dĂ©jeuner
SELMA
Moi je ne suis pas allĂ©e pour lâhĂŽtel, ça je lâai dit pour toi. Jâai un peu hĂ©sitĂ©. AprĂšs je me suis dit il nây a pas de raison de ne pas tendre la main. Je ne pensais plus au passĂ©. De toutes les façons ces gens-lĂ ne sont plus. Ma gĂ©nĂ©ration a disparu.
JENNY
Il y avait le maire aussi, la femme qui Ă©tait le maire câĂ©tait pas une femme qui avait fait des Ă©tudes, elle Ă©tait trĂšs gentille, câest pour elle quâon nâa pas pu dire non.
SELMA
Mais ça on ne lâa pas su avant. On nâa rien su avant. Et maintenant si jâavais su jâaurais prĂ©fĂ©rĂ© ne pas ajouter encore une nouvelle complication Ă toute cette histoire qui Ă©tait dĂ©jĂ si compliquĂ©e Ă cause des nazis et maintenant par-dessus le marchĂ© il y a les nouveaux juifs aussi.
JENNY
Câest fait câest fait.
SELMA
Les problĂšmes ont tellement changĂ©. Alors maintenant je ne vais quand mĂȘme pas me faire du souci pour les juifs dâOsnabrĂŒck dâaujourdâhui je mâen serais bien passĂ©e de ceux-lĂ .
JENNY
La solution câest dâoublier, un, deux, trois.
SELMA
Oublier, oublier, oublier. Jâaurais dĂ» y penser avant. Laisse cette prune, il nây en a quâune. Câest pour HĂ©lĂšne. Pour toi câest un yaourt.
JENNY
Mais jâai dĂ©jĂ mangĂ© un yaourt ce matin
JENNY
And you thought the City Hallâs program looked interesting. We went to the OsnabrĂŒck theatre and they were doing Die Dreigroschenoper. And the hotel you told me it was the best in town the one across from the Cathedral. Thereâs a big buffet for breakfast
SELMA
I didnât go because of the hotel, I only said that for you. I hesitated a little. Afterwards I told myself thereâs no reason not to extend a hand. I didnât think any more about the past. Besides those people are gone. My generation has disappeared.
JENNY
The mayor was there too, the woman who was the mayor, she wasnât someone whoâd had a higher education, she was very nice, it was for her sake we couldnât say no.
SELMA
But we didnât know that ahead of time. We didnât know anything ahead of time. And now had I known Iâd rather not have added a new complication to this whole story that was already so complicated because of the Nazis and now into the bargain there are the new Jews as well.
JENNY
Whatâs done is done.
SELMA
The problems have changed so much. And now Iâm not going to start worrying about todayâs OsnabrĂŒck Jews I could have done without them.
JENNY
The solution is to forget, one, two, three.
SELMA
Forget, forget, forget. I should have thought of that before. Leave that plum, thereâs only one. Itâs for HĂ©lĂšne. For you thereâs a yoghurt.
JENNY
But I already had a yoghurt this morning
SELMA
Mais jâai gardĂ© cette prune pour HĂ©lĂšne. Un yaourt nature.
OsnabrĂŒck, jâa...