And Then the Murders Began

Classic Literature Bestsellers' Opening Lines ReImagined Darkly

Richard Saunders

• Publisher: Thrive Learning Institute
• eBook ISBN: 9781365867194
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: Literary Criticism
• Index: Literature

The Mystery To This Book

...is to make you smile, laugh, or just shake your head.

Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, 'and what is the use of a book,' thought Alice 'without pictures or conversations?'

And then the murders began.

Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, By Lewis Carroll

It all started with a small quote from Marc Laidlaw who created a nice approach to revisiting first lines of books. His 3 March 2017 tweet said, "The first line of almost any story can be improved by making sure the second line is, ' And then the murders began. '"

This book was a test of that idea.

I took the first lines of the top 100 downloaded books from Gutenberg.org, in order, and applied that concept.

The idea does work in almost all cases to create something humorous (depending on your idea of what's funny.)

To be fair, in many cases, a better effect is often achieved once the scene is set. Especially when you are already familiar with the author's style. Romances seem to work best. Plays are awkward.

You can try this for yourself as you go – take only the first line and add "And then the murders began." The results are more often than not incredibly hilarious. Sometimes merely droll. And even non-fiction can be as surprising.

Or, just read along with my excerpts and see which one you like better. I give you, then, two books in one. (Three, if you want to explore that classic further...)

Above all, the idea is to have fun.

Get Your Copy Now.

1

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.

And then the murders began.

Pride And Prejudice, By Jane Austen

2

Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, ‘and what is the use of a book,’ thought Alice ‘without pictures or conversations?’

So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.

And then the murders began.

Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland, By Lewis Carroll

3

It is very seldom that mere ordinary people like John and myself secure ancestral halls for the summer.

A colonial mansion, a hereditary estate, I would say a haunted house, and reach the height of romantic felicity—but that would be asking too much of fate!

Still I will proudly declare that there is something queer about it.

Else, why should it be let so cheaply? And why have stood so long untenanted?

John laughs at me, of course, but one expects that in marriage.

And then the murders began.

The Yellow Wallpaper, By Charlotte Perkins Gilman

4

St. Petersburgh, Dec. 11th, 17—

TO Mrs. Saville, England

You will rejoice to hear that no disaster has accompanied the commencement of an enterprise which you have regarded with such evil forebodings. I arrived here yesterday, and my first task is to assure my dear sister of my welfare and increasing confidence in the success of my undertaking.

And then the murders began.

Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus, by Mary Wollstonecraft (Godwin) Shelley

5

It was the best of times,

it was the worst of times,

it was the age of wisdom,

it was the age of foolishness,

it was the epoch of belief,

it was the epoch of incredulity,

it was the season of Light,

it was the season of Darkness,

it was the spring of hope,

it was the winter of despair,

and then the murders began.

A Tale Of Two Cities: A Story Of The French Revolution, By Charles Dickens

 

6

You don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain't no matter. That book was made by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly. There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.

And then the murders began.

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, by Mark Twain

7

Act I

Morning-room in Algernon’s flat in Half-Moon Street.  The room is luxuriously and artistically furnished.  The sound of a piano is heard in the adjoining room.

[Lane is arranging afternoon tea on the table, and after the music has ceased, Algernon enters.]

Algernon.  Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?

Lane.  I didn’t think it polite to listen, sir.

Algernon.  I’m sorry for that, for your sake.  I don’t play accurately—any one can play accurately—but I play with wonderful expression.

[And then the murders began.]

The Importance of Being Earnest, by Oscar Wilde

8

One morning, as Gregor Samsa was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that in bed he had been changed into a monstrous vermin. He lay on his armour-hard back and saw, as he lifted his head up a little, his brown, arched abdomen divided up into rigid bow-like sections. From this height the blanket, just about ready to slide off completely, could hardly stay in place. His numerous legs, pitifully thin in comparison to the rest of his circumference, flickered helplessly before his eyes.

"What's happened to me?" he thought.

And then the murders began.

The Metamorphosis, Franz Kafka

9

To Sherlock Holmes she is always THE woman. I have seldom heard him mention her under any other name. In his eyes she eclipses and predominates the whole of her sex. It was not that he felt any emotion akin to love for Irene Adler. All emotions, and that one particularly, were abhorrent to his cold, precise but admirably balanced mind.

And then the murders began.

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, by Arthur Conan Doyle

10

[SCENE.--It is winter. A bell rings in the hall; shortly afterwards the door is heard to open. Enter NORA, humming a tune and in high spirits. She is in outdoor dress and carries a number of parcels; these she lays on the table to the right. She leaves the outer door open after her, and through it is seen a PORTER who is carrying a Christmas Tree and a basket, which he gives to the MAID who has opened the door.]

Nora. Hide the Christmas Tree carefully, Helen. Be sure the children do not see it until this evening, when it is dressed. [To the PORTER, taking out her purse.] How much?

Porter. Sixpence.

Nora. There is a shilling. No, keep the change. [The PORTER thanks her, and goes out. NORA shuts the door. She is laughing to herself, as she takes off her hat and coat. She takes a packet of macaroons from her pocket and eats one or two; then goes cautiously to her husband's door and listens. And then the murders began.]

Nora Or A Doll's House, by Henrik Ibsen

11

"Tom!"

No answer.

"Tom!"

No answer.

"What's gone with that boy, I wonder? You Tom!"

No answer.

The old lady pulled her spectacles down and looked over them about the room; then she put them up and looked out under them. She seldom or never looked through them for so small a thing as a boy; they were her state pair, the pride of her heart, and were built for "style," not service — she c...

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