Grace for the Children

Finding Hope in the Midst of Child and Adolescent Mental Illness

Matthew S. Stanford

• Publisher: IVP
• Year: 2019
• Print ISBN: 9780830845767
• eBook ISBN: 9780830857913
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Mental Health in Psychology

The church's response to child and adolescent mental health disorders has too often been characterized by fear and misinformation rather than grace or wisdom. The result has been families that desperately need practical advice and pastoral care on these disorders, and on the thorny issues that often surround them.Psychologist Matthew Stanford has written Grace for the Children to educate Christians about a range of common child and adolescent mental health disorders, from both scientific and biblical perspectives. Based on DSM-5 diagnoses, this book covers

• autism spectrum disorder
• attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
• disruptive behavior disorders
• depression
• bipolar disorders
• anxiety
• posttraumatic stress disorder
• obsessive compulsive and related disorders
• eating disorders

The church is uniquely positioned to offer things our mental health system often lacks: hope, a holistic view of human nature, accessible care, and supportive community. Grace for the Children is a call for the church to pick up this mantle and to offer grace to children and adolescents suffering from mental health disorders.

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward.

PSALM 127:3

ONE OF MY PASSIONS is training pastors and ministry staff to recognize and respond to the mental-health problems of those they are serving. At the end of my workshops, we always have a question and answer time, and during one of these sessions a young pastor raised her hand. She wanted to know the best way to minister to a new family that had recently started attending her church.

Ross, Ellen, and their two children, Ashley and Charlie, moved to the area three years ago. At that time Charlie had just turned five and was beginning kindergarten while Ashley was going into the second grade. The family was interested in attending a small Bible church near their home, so Ellen made an appointment with the children’s minister to discuss Charlie. In the year prior to their move Charlie had been diagnosed with mild autism, and while he was a happy, carefree little boy he did have trouble sitting still and tended to wander. The children’s minister assured Ellen that the Sunday school staff could accommodate Charlie, and he was welcomed with open arms.

Most Sunday mornings that first year Charlie did fine, but at least once a month one of his parents had to be caslled out of the service to get him. At school the academic and behavioral demands of kindergarten were simply too much for Charlie, and he quickly fell behind. Frustrated, he began acting out. By the middle of the year he had been moved to a special education class. Over the next two years Charlie’s behavior on Sunday mornings deteriorated. He would pace around the class and refuse to sit down. When frustrated he would yell and disrupt the class. His yelling was often so loud that he could be heard in the service. In first grade Charlie was given an additional diagnosis of Attentional Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

Many Sundays either Ellen or Ross would stay home with Charlie so the other parent could attend church with Ashley. Charlie’s behavioral problems were taking a toll on the family. They felt isolated and alone. One Sunday morning Charlie bit his Sunday school teacher when she was trying to restrain him. Charlie was prescribed medication by a child psychiatrist to help control his impulsive behavior. On several occasions the children’s minister met with Ellen and Ross, but it was clear that she considered Charlie the “bad kid” and saw his behavior the result of willful disobedience rather than a neurodevelopmental disorder. The church’s response to Charlie was more disciplinary than accommodating.

Things reached a head one Sunday morning when Charlie, now seven, threw a toy at another child, causing a large laceration on the girl’s forehead. To remedy the problem, the church’s leadership sought a restraining order against Charlie so that he could not attend. This was done without consulting Ellen and Ross, who found out about the restraining order when a constable delivered court documents to their home one afternoon. Now seriously wounded by the body of Christ, this broken family was seeking refuge at a new church. The twenty or so pastors in the room at my workshop were speechless.

How could anyone imagine that a restraining order against a suffering child and struggling family expresses the unconditional love and limitless grace of Christ? But this type of harmful response to mental illness is not uncommon in the church. My own research on Christians with mental illness demonstrates that 30-40 percent of them have had a negative interaction (such as having a pastor tell them there is no such thing as mental illness) when they seek counseling or assistance from their church in relation to their disorder.1

Mental illness is a terrifying experience, especially when a father and mother have to watch their child suffer from destructive, uncontrollable thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Given Jesus’ heart for children (Matthew 19:13-15; Mark 10:13-16; Luke 18:15-17), the church should be a place of grace and unconditional love for families struggling to care for a child with mental illness. Unfortunately, due to fear and spiritual ignorance, the church has struggled in ministering to these families. It is my hope that the information presented in this book will provide a better understanding of mental illness, both from a scientific perspective and through the eyes of faith. To truly minister to suffering children and their families the way that Christ would, we must see them with his eyes. So let’s start by understanding God’s creative role in the birth of all children.

THE HANDS OF THE MAKER

All children are “fearfully and wonderfully made” in the image of God (Genesis 1:26). A creative act similar to the creation of Adam is repeated at the origin of each person. God wills that each individual life comes into existence and actively sustains them moment by moment (Colossians 1:16-17). God knits all children together in their mothers’ wombs (Psalm 139:13-16), and they are all—even those with developmental and psychological disorders—conceived for the purpose of displaying his glory (Isaiah 43:7). God is intentional in the creation of his children (Psalm 119:73), endowing each with a divine purpose and plan (Jeremiah 29:11) and bestowing them as a gift and reward upon their earthly parents (Psalm 127:3). Even before a child is conceived, God knows everything about them and longs for an intimate relationship with them (Psalm 139:16; Jeremiah 1:5; Ephesians 1:4-5). The Scriptures tell us that it is beyond our finite minds to fully grasp this divine process (Ecclesiastes 11:5), but we should rest in the fact that God is intentional and intimately involved in the creation of every new life.

Every newborn child is a highly complex being, unlike any other living creature God has made. The Scriptures tell us that we are an embodied spirit, having both physical (material) and nonphysical (immaterial) aspects to our being (1 Thessalonians 5:23). Describing the developing Christ child, Luke outlines four aspects to our being (Luke 2:52). He writes, “Jesus kept increasing in wisdom [mental] and stature [physical], and in favor with God [spiritual] and men [relational].” So a child, like the young incarnate Christ, is a unity of physical, mental, spiritual, and relational facets, with each aspect affecting and being affected by all the others.

Physical. All children are born into a physical world, and to interact with it, an aspect of their being must be physical. God has given them a complex set of sensory systems that allows them to take in stimulation from the environment and relay it to the brain. They can touch, taste, see, smell, and hear the world around them. At birth, however, a child’s brain is not fully developed. A combination of inborn genetic information and experience shapes how their brain cells will develop and connect. These new connections form specialized systems that give rise to their thoughts, feelings, and emotions. This process of brain maturation is ongoing throughout childhood and adolescence, with the development of some neural systems not being fully complete until early adulthood.2

Our bodies are the aspect of our being that we are most aware of on a daily basis. Believers and nonbelievers alike, scientists, philosophers, and theologians all agree that we have a physical body. However, the Scriptures are clear: we are more than simply a physical body (2 Corinthians 5:8). There is an immaterial, nonphysical aspect to our being—what some would call our soul or mind.

Mental. Children’s thoughts, feelings, and emotions are more than simply the product of neurochemical changes and electrical discharges in the brain. While the functioning of the brain is integral to the existence of the mind, that alone is not sufficient to explain it. Similarly, to imagine the mind as completely separate and unrelated to the physical doesn’t seem correct either. The mind, what some might call consciousness or soul, is a bridge between the material and the immaterial. As an extension of the physical (brain) world, it allows a child to interact with the nonphysical (spirit). In the mind they plan actions (Proverbs 16:9), choose to sin or not to sin (Romans 8:6-7; 2 Corinthians 10:5), connect with God through prayer (1 Corinthians 14:15), receive divine revelation and understanding (Luke 24:45), meditate on the truths of God (Colossians 3:2), and are transformed by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit (Romans 12:2).

The mind of a child, while endowed with godly attributes (Matthew 18:2-4) at birth, is not fully developed, and much like the brain is shaped by a combination of genetics and experience as we grow (Proverbs 22:6,15; Luke 2:52; Colossians 3:21). The Scriptures teach us that we also have a third and even more amazing level of being, a spirit.

Spiritual. Like God himself, our children are spiritual beings: God has breathed his very breath into them (Genesis 2:7). That’s how we differ from the animals: like the animals, we were created from the dust of the ground (Genesis 2:19), but only humans bear the breath of God: his very image. As spiritual beings, then, our children have the potential for an intimate spiritual union with God. No other living creature, not even the angels, is given such an opportunity.

Relational. Our children were also created to be in relationship. God himself said, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). While our first and greatest relational need is to know God, we should never underestimate the importance of being in fellowship with other believers. The topic of relationship is common throughout the Scriptures. The Bible offers us guidance on a variety of relationships, including marriage (Ephesians 5:22-33), parenting (Psalm 127:3-5), siblin...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Contents
• 1 A Gift and a Reward
• 2 Diagnosis and Treatment
• 3 Questions and Answers
• 4 Different: Autism Spectrum Disorder
• 5 Distracted: Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
• 6 Defiant: Disruptive Behavior Disorders
• 7 Hopeless: Depressive Disorders
• 8 Emotional: Bipolar Disorders
• 9 Fearful: Anxiety Disorders
• 10 Wounded: Posttraumatic Stress Disorder
• 11 Consumed: Obsessive Compulsive and Related Disorders
• 12 Worthless: Eating Disorders
• 13 Being Holistic
• 14 A Divine Opportunity
• Notes
• Also by Matthew S. Stanford
• Praise for Grace for the Children
• About the Author
• More Titles from InterVarsity Press
• Copyright