Intervening for Stepfamily Success

One Case, Multiple Perspectives

Joshua M. Gold

• Publisher: American Counseling Association
• Year: 2019
• Print ISBN: 9781119606949
• eBook ISBN: 9781119602439
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Psychology
• Subtopic: Professional Development
• Index: Psychology

This welcome resource provides concrete examples of how to apply multiple family systems theories and treatment planning to common stepfamily issues. A single stepfamily case study is examined through the lenses of the Adlerian, transgenerational, prescriptive play therapy, structural, cognitive behavior, solution-focused, and narrative models to provide an understanding of the benefits of each approach and how to determine the best fit for a stepfamily's presenting issues. In addition, each chapter examines ethical concerns specific to counseling stepfamilies, issues of diversity, and current research on stepfamily assessment and therapeutic outcomes.

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PART I
Introducing the Case Study

Chapter 1
What We Know About Stepfamilies

Joshua M. Gold

The presence and prevalence of stepfamilies as a social institution continues to grow (Gold, 2016). Today, there is nothing unique about combined families; the numbers have risen dramatically in the past 45 years (Gosselin & David, 2007; Jones, 2003; Lewis & Kreider, 2015). The scholarly and clinical study of this complex family unit has uncovered distinctive characteristics of stepfamilies.

This book illustrates stepfamily dynamics in a unique way. The authors of each chapter in Part II present a specific theoretical approach for working with a single family unit. The case study family is the same family for all chapters, and it is described in the following section. The case study description is a composite of several stepfamilies and is not based on any one particular stepfamily unit.

Case Study

Marvin is in Grade 4, and his in-class behavior has recently come to your attention. He has become argumentative with the teacher, refuses to complete his work, and teases other children. When confronted by the teacher, Marvin explodes into tears and accuses her of not caring about him. In the latest episode, when the teacher tried to comfort him, Marvin struck her several times with his fists, causing observable bruising on her arms. When confronted by the principal, Marvin remains obstinate and defies his authority even in the face of corporal punishment or suspension. The school wants to refer Marvin for testing for attention-deficit disorder, hoping that this diagnosis will lead to a prescription of Ritalin.

You are Marvin’s counselor, and you decide to explore Marvin’s behavioral change as a function of family change. You have not met Marvin’s parents or family, but Marvin’s recent behavior leads you to ask them to provide some family information. You learn that Marvin’s father (Ted) and stepmother (Mary) have been married for 1 year. Ted (age 35) was married to Linda for 11 years, and they had two children: Marvin, age 9, and Vanessa, age 10. Ted tells you that his first marriage was dissolved when Linda decided that she didn’t want more children and wanted to return to college. Ted felt that children need a mother at home. Eventually, Linda moved out of the family home, moved in with a friend, and returned to university. Ted reports no feelings of attachment to Linda and says that the divorce has worked out fine.

Mary is 33 years old. She left her family home at age 17. Her father could not understand her desire to attend university rather than marrying and settling down as her three older sisters had done. Mary related that her boyfriend from high school (Fred) proposed on the eve of their high school graduation and that she “created a scene” by turning him down. She worried that he would not support her career and independent identity. She worked very hard to earn a bachelor’s degree in computer science. In her few visits home, Mary and her parents fight constantly about how her life is turning out. The conflict escalated when her parents discovered that Mary was having an affair with Ted. The last fight ended with Mary vowing never to speak to them again, her mother in tears, and her father defiantly telling her to leave! Throughout her struggle with school and establishing herself in her career, Mary had little time for relationships, promising herself that marriage could wait.

Ted owns a computer service firm that he boasts of “building from nothing.” He is the only child of William and Ethel. Ted’s father is a take-charge kind of man, always in control, and very certain of his decisions. William is the boss not only at work but also at home. Ethel says that she gets the greatest pleasure in seeing to “every need of her two boys.” Ted had several girlfriends in college, but his parents dismissed all of them as “below him.” When he finally met Linda, he considered her his “fantasy woman,” but he had a hard time convincing his parents that she was “good enough” for him. Ted’s father seemed more accepting of Linda, but his mother always harbored a grudge about Linda “stealing her son.” Ethel reminded Ted at the time of his divorce that she had predicted that Linda was no good.

Mary met Ted (her boss) at their workplace about 2 years before his divorce became final. She said that she felt attracted to his strong sense of self and identity. They became novice and mentor, and as Ted’s marriage deteriorated, they became lovers. After Ted’s divorce was final, Mary spent more time with Ted and the children. She felt unsure around them, but Ted reassured her that after the marriage they would all get along fine.

Two months later, after a weekend honeymoon, Mary moved her furniture and two cats into Ted’s house with his furniture, two dogs, and two children. Vanessa seems to spend a lot of time in her room or with her friends, and Vanessa ignores Mary when she speaks to her. Marvin seems to oscillate between defending Mary to Vanessa and telling Mary that “she is not his real mother.” In addition, Mary recently received a call from Ethel telling her that the children don’t love her and suggesting that the children move in with their grandparents. Yesterday, Linda came to pick up the kids for visitation, but Marvin refused to go with her. Linda accused Mary of poisoning the children against her and threatening to reopen the custody hearings.

Mary always dreamed of having children, and Ted had originally agreed. Due to the conflict at home, however, Ted has changed his mind. Mary says that he will not even speak to her about this anymore and that he downplays her conflicts with Vanessa and Marvin. Ted says that she is exaggerating because the children always “mind” him. Equipped with this information, you begin to hypothesize about how to help this family.

Stepfamily Demographic Data

Clinicians working with stepfamilies over the past 10 to 15 years have seen their numbers increase dramatically. Stepfamilies are found throughout all cultures, and the diversity of this family form and its identified struggles are significant. A stepfamily is defined as a household in which there are two adults in a committed couple relationship and at least one of the adults has a child or children from a previous relationship. Those children may be in residence, be jointly parented, or have reached an age of majority and departed the family home. An estimated 9,100 new American stepfamilies are created each week, and 50% of all Americans have a stepfamily connection (Stewart, 2007). For example, four recent U.S. presidents (Obama, Clinton, Reagan, and Ford) were members of stepfamilies. Earlier estimates predicted that the stepfamily constellation would be ranked as the most common family form in the United States by 2020 (Visher & Visher, 2003). However, accurate demographic data on stepfamilies are difficult to discern. Standard reporting systems, such as census figures, tend to underestimate the number of stepfamilies because of a lack of a consensus on the definition of a stepfamily; budgetary constraints; and discontinuing reporting marriage, divorce, and stepfamily trends. Data collection is said to be further confounded by three current family constellations: (a) nonmarital childbearing, resulting in a first marriage in which the current spouse is not the biological parent of the children in the home; (b) cohabiting families with children, resulting in these families not being counted as a “legitimate” family system; and (c) multihousehold families, in which children move between two or more households and may not be acknowledged in formal data in either home (Crosbie-Burnett et al., 2005; Deal, 2011; Lewis & Kreider, 2015; Pew Research Center, 2011). I hope such omissions will be corrected in the future so researchers and clinicians can be provided with more accurate numbers of stepfamilies.

The emergence of stepfamilies in ever-growing numbers challenges family counselors to replace the “nuclear family” norm with more current exemplars of family dynamics relevant to, and stemming from, the stepfamily experience (Felker, Fromme, Arnaut, & Stoll, 2002; Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2002; Gosselin & David, 2007). Stepfamilies have always formed part of the family constellation in our society; however, the recent increases in divorce and subsequent remarriages has expanded their numbers (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2002).

Carter and McGoldrick (2005) stated that “more than 1/2 of Americans today have been, are now or will eventually be in one or more stepfamilies during their lives” (p. 14). The Pew Research Center (2011) and Lewis and Kreider (2015) echoed this statement, claiming that more than 40% of adults have at least one steprela-tive in their family. In earlier times, stepfamilies were usually created after the death of a spouse, whereas today the divorce of one or both partners from previous spouses commonly results in new blended families. The divorce rate in 2002 was 55% for first marriages (Gately, Pike & Murphy, 2006); more recent data that include both legal divorces and long-term separations indicate a 50% rate (Stanley, 2015). A majority of those adults, 65% of women and 70% of men (Portrie & Hill, 2005; Wilkes & Fromme, 2002), will remarry. Remarriage usually occurs relatively soon after the dissolution of the previous relationship, with women remarrying within 3 to 5 years and men remarrying within 1 to 2 years (Gately et al., 2006).

The dynamics of each stepfamily is unique due to the personalities of the individuals and the dynamics of their previous relation- ships. The diverse composition of stepfamilies (biological parent, stepparent, child, stepchild, mutual child plus one, or perhaps two ex-spouses plus extended present and ex-family members) generates multiple levels of tension around the adjustment of all family members to the new and multiple roles and relationships. Conflicts are rooted in insecurity regarding each member’s role and the uncertainty of how to enact these roles while living them at the same time. Similar dynamics apply to those grown children whose parents remarry (Harris, 2014).

Children coming into a combined family most often have endured either a divorce between their natural parents or the death of a parent. Their emotional senses have been brought to new heights. The foundation they once held as stable and solid is gone, and life is no longer routine (Jones, 2003). Stepparents often receive the brunt of these frustrations and fears. This is uncharted water for everyone, because “our culture lacks any established patterns or rituals to help handle the complex relationships of acquired family members” (Carter & McGoldrick, 2005, p. 417). In addition to the stepparent–stepchild relationship, clinicians must remember to attend to the marital relationship, which tends to be overshadowed by the stepparent roles (Halford, Nicholson, & Sanders, 200...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Table of Contents
• Preface
• About the Editor
• About the Contributors
• Acknowledgments
• PART I: Introducing the Case Study
• PART II: Specific Family Counseling Models Applied to the Case Study
• PART III: Professional Issues
• Index
• Technical Support