Counselor Self-Care

Gerald Corey, Michelle Muratori, Jude T. Austin, Julius A. Austin

• Publisher: American Counseling Association
• Year: 2017
• ISBN:
  9781119457404
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Bildung
• Subtopic: Berufliche Weiterbildung

Self-care is critical for effective and ethical counseling practice and this inspirational book offers diverse, realistic perspectives on how to achieve work–life balance and personal wellness from graduate school through retirement. In addition to the authors' unique perspectives as professionals at different stages of their careers, guest contributors—ranging from graduate students, to new professionals, to seasoned counselors—share their experiences and thoughts about self-care, including what challenges them most. Both personal and conversational in tone, this book will help you to create your own practical self-care action plan through reflection on important issues, such as managing stress, establishing personal and professional boundaries, enhancing relationships, and finding meaning in life.

"Counselors face the obstacle of remembering to care for themselves while focusing on caring for others. In Counselor Self-Care, Drs. Gerald Corey, Michelle Muratori, Jude Austin, and Julius Austin lead 52 contributing authors in a book rich with living events and defining moments. Multiple stressors are described and met with multiple solutions. There is so much great content here that can be embraced by those who do the noble work of being present for others."
— Tom Skovholt, PhD, LP, Professor, University of Minnesota; Author of The Resilient Practitioner: Burnout and Compassion Fatigue Prevention and Self-Care Strategies for the Helping Professions, 3rd Edition

"Self-care is often discussed in counselor training and supervision, but not in its full scope. Counselor Self-Care provides breadth and depth by addressing the many facets of self-care. The authors combine personal narratives and anecdotes from experienced mental health professionals with self-assessment questions and self-care improvement strategies. The level of vulnerability and insight from the authors, and those who share their stories, is informative and rare to find. Assign this book as reading for yourself, your students, and your supervisees to motivate nurturing of the self."
— Philip Clarke, PhD, Associate Professor, Wake Forest University

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Chapter 1
Taking Care of Yourself

It's not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority.

It's necessary.

—Mandy Hale

Whether you are a student in the helping professions or a seasoned mental health practitioner, taking care of yourself is critical to your professional success. Incorporating self-care in our lives is a prerequisite to being competent mental health practitioners. Although we are indoctrinated with this advice early in our professional training, many of us say we simply do not have time to take care of ourselves. This begs the question, “Can we afford not to take care of ourselves?” To successfully meet the demands of our professional work in an increasingly stressful world, it is essential that we attend to our physical, psychological, intellectual, social, and spiritual needs. Ideally, our self-care should mirror the care we provide to others. Having knowledge about self-care is important; putting what we know into action can be challenging.

Counseling professionals are compassionate people who are good at taking care of others, but we may fail to treat ourselves with the same level of care. We must remind ourselves that it is not possible to provide nourishment to others if we are not nourishing ourselves. Similar to the flight attendant's instructions to put on your oxygen mask before helping others, if we don't heed this requirement, we will run out of “oxygen” and not be able to help anyone else.

When I (Michelle) was teaching an introductory counseling course several years ago, I assigned a self-care project to underscore the importance of practicing good self-care from the very beginning of counselor training. I hoped my students would formulate individual self-care goals that they were invested in pursuing and that they would be inspired to continue after the semester ended. I believed I was teaching my first-year graduate students something valuable, but they taught me something unexpected and fascinating: this “self-care project” was more stressful for many of my students than any of their other assignments! A number of them struggled with identifying or formulating an achievable self-care goal, and the scope of their ideas varied widely. Some plans seemed too ambitious; one student aspired to challenge himself to climb a mountain during the semester. Others seemed stunningly lacking in ambition; one student wanted to exercise one minute a day! What I recall most about that assignment is that something intended to be enjoyable proved to be burdensome for a number of students. Based on this experience and others, including my own resistance to certain forms of self-care, I wondered, “Why is it so hard for us as helpers to take care of our ‘selves’ when we are so passionate about helping others to take better care of themselves?” In working on Counselor Self-Care, the four of us have spent much time reflecting on this question. Our hope is that you will engage in introspection regarding your own self-care successes and struggles as you read this book.

Relevant literature is cited throughout the book, but you may notice that the text is not particularly citation heavy (as you might expect in a textbook). This is by design. As noted in the Preface, rather than providing an exhaustive review of the scholarly literature and research on topics related to self-care, we take a more personal approach to support you in your own self-care journey. No one model will work for all counselors, so we showcase a collection of experiences and highlight literature that can help you develop a model and plan for self-care that works best for you. We discuss self-care for helping professionals from many different perspectives in the hope of inspiring you to improve your commitment to and practice of self-care. Each chapter is filled with firsthand accounts of the many ways counselors and counselor trainees successfully (and sometimes not so successfully) take care of themselves.

Take a few minutes right now to think about the things in your life that threaten your wellness and your effectiveness as a counselor or a graduate student. Identify what you need in this moment to feel healthy, both personally and professionally. As you read, be mindful of how the stories in each chapter influence your feelings, your thoughts, and your behaviors related to self-care.

This chapter is devoted to some key topics at the heart of counselor self-care, such as the importance of adopting a wellness perspective and its influence on maintaining therapeutic presence; wellness and self-care as buffers against empathy fatigue; and the pursuit of happiness as a foundation of self-care. This discussion provides the foundation for the chapters that follow.

First, however, we turn our attention to the fundamental principle that self-care is not a frivolous indulgence. It is, in fact, our ethical duty to take care of ourselves so that we will be well equipped to put the metaphorical oxygen mask on our clients and students who need our assistance and who are depending on us to be well for them.

Self-Care as an Ethical Mandate

Self-care is the collection of positive actions that promote wellness and effective coping. Stated broadly, “self-care includes routine positive practices and mindful attention to one's physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual selves in the context of one's personal and professional lives” (Wise & Barnett, 2016, p. 210). Self-care is not a luxury; it is an ethical mandate. If we neglect caring for ourselves on a regular basis, our professional work suffers, so self-care is a basic tenet of ethical practice (Barnett, Baker, Elman, & Schoener, 2007). If we are drained and depleted, we will not have much to give to those who need our time and our presence. Wise and Barnett (2016) emphasize that we must be willing to take steps to protect our effective functioning if we are to provide our clients with the competent services they deserve. Wise, Hersch, and Gibson (2011, 2012) describe a developmental perspective on ethics and self-care for psychologists and examine the stress–distress continuum.

Amanda Connell, a counseling intern, took to heart the advice she received in graduate school about viewing self-care as an ethical mandate. Although Amanda has multiple demands on her personal and professional life, she is finding a way to make time to care for herself.

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A Lifelong Struggle for Self-Care

Amanda Connell

Despite my clear understanding of the importance of self-care, achieving my goals in this area remains a lifelong struggle. My life circumstances and schedule create conflict in achieving the level of self-care that I would prefer to experience. The majority of my time is spent being a caregiver for my daughter, who is severely disabled. I also work for two agencies, and I just passed the law and ethics exams for MFT and LPC licensure. My newest venture is part-time teaching of a practicum in human services class at a university, which I find challenging and greatly enjoy.

Although finding sufficient time is difficult, I have worked self-care into my life. My absolute favorite form of self-care is taking vacations. I generally take two vacations each year, and occasionally I add a third vacation when I find myself particularly in need. Long ago I figured out that my true nature is an introvert. What that means for me is that I need time alone to “recharge my batteries.” A large part of my life is spent in serving others, so when I take vacations, I go alone. It is the best and most freeing feeling to have a whole week to do what I want when I want to do it. When I return from my trips, I am a more effective mother, counselor, and teacher. Without these vacations, I would be encountering burnout.

A newer self-care strategy for me is saying “no” more frequently. Also, I ask myself if the new commitments are sustainable. I have been blessed in my life with offers for many wonderful professional opportunities. It has been challenging for me to turn down these opportunities because I really want to do these things and would thoroughly enjoy them. The problem is that there are only so many hours in a day, and when I stretch myself too thin, my health and overall well-being suffer. My schedule is demanding, but it works for me because I have found and pursued my passions in life. All that I do is meaningful and fulfilling for me, and as a chronic overachiever, saying “no” takes work. I noticed that I had been making commitments in the mornings when I feel energetic. My strategy today is to delay commitment decisions (even smaller social commitments) until the evening hours when I am most tired. It is easier to say “no” when my energy is already at a low point in the day.

Another extremely helpful aspect of self-care has been engaging in my own therapy and actively working toward self-actualization. Words I live by are “just because I can do something does not mean I should do it.” I have learned to be emotionally kind to myself, and I strive to live a life of congruence and self-awareness. Many of the methods I suggest to my clients are incorporated in my own life, such as replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations, regularly engaging in meditation and relaxation exercises, giving myself gentle reminders to return to my self-care plan as needed, and being vigilant about eliminating self-judgment as it arises. Laughter, joy, appreciation, and an innate trust that life will work out are all daily ingredients of my self-care plan.

Being a caregiver often includes a fair amount of sleep deprivation and interrupted sleep. Therefore, a major aspect of my self-care is to schedule and take naps regularly, which helps tremendously. A further area of self-care I enjoy is having a wonderful support system that includes family, friends, colleagues, and mentors. The people in these groups enrich my life and soul in countless ways, and I am grateful.

Engaging in regular self-care is enormously beneficial for me personally, and it is also a vital component of my effectiveness as a counselor and an instructor. Vacations, meditation, and sleep contribute mightily to my mental acuity, ability to connect with clients in the here and now, patience, and intuitive abilities. My support system helps me to be a more balanced professional. Consulting frequently with colleagues and mentors leads to new ideas and interventions and reduces feelings of isolation that sometimes occur for therapists in private practice. Saying “no” and limiting commitments allows me to have the energy to be fully present for my clients and students. Furthermore, my personal therapy contributes to my professional effectiveness by illuminating countertransference issues and concurrently expanding my therapeutic characteristics such as empathy, self-awareness, and genuineness. Developing and maintaining a solid self-care plan brings myriad benefits. I believe it plays an integral role in every facet of being an effective helper.

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Each of these contributed stories is unique, and we encourage you to take this opportunity to peek through the key hole into the self-care experiences of other professionals. Amanda's narrative exemplifies the...