Chapter 1
Conflict Resolution
at Work
In This Chapter
Looking at causes of workplace conflict
Using a mediation process to help employees through problems
Finding and using conflict expertise
You may love your family and friends but, truth be told, you spend much of your time with the people at work. Not getting along with co-workers or having members of your team at odds with one another can be stressful and distracting. In addition, problems in the workplace rarely stay at work; they can permeate every aspect of your life. So you need to take the time to understand whatâs behind a conflict, get beyond the surface issues and work to help find satisfying resolutions for everyone involved.
Settling differences effectively requires you to step back and look at the broader picture, be mindful of another personâs point of view, and take into account peripheral factors that may be creating or provoking problems, like group dynamics or workplace norms.
In this chapter, I give you an overview of conflict resolution so you can successfully mediate problems in your workplace, whether those problems are between two individuals or within a larger group. I also tell you about additional conflict resolution resources you may have at your disposal.
Considering Common Contributors to Conflict
For the most part, workplace difficulties fall into common categories, such as
Effectively addressing conflict takes into account the obvious surface issue, the emotional climate surrounding the topic, and your knowledge of the viewpoints of the people involved in the dispute. In this section, I provide insight into how differing perspectives can cause employees to feel like ships passing in the night. I also discuss emotions, touch on the importance of communication in your organisation, and look at group dynamics, including your role in the group.
Acknowledging differing perspectives
You and each of the employees on your team have a lens through which you see the world and one another. Everything you see, hear and say goes through your filter on the way in and on the way out. These filters determine how you present and receive information.
Your individual kaleidoscope is shaped by things like your personal history, education, values, culture and the roles you play in your life, both at work and at home. Everything you consider important works together to create your worldview. The same is true for your co-workers.
Values in this context are things like safety, respect, autonomy and recognition.
Being familiar with your employeesâ and colleaguesâ values helps you resolve conflicts. For example, say that two employees are having an argument over where to stack some binders. If you can appreciate that one employee sees respect as paramount in his environment, and that his workspace is being encroached by his colleague with a lackadaisical attitude toward boundaries, you have a better chance of helping the two resolve the issue. Rather than swooping in to tell the pair that the binders theyâre arguing about should go on a shelf, you can facilitate a conversation about the real issue â respect. After you address the issue of respect, where the binders should go will be relatively easy to decide.
In Chapter 2, I go into more detail about filters, values and the emotions individuals bring to conflict.
Recognising emotions in others
Most organisations embrace positive emotions. Where managers often falter is in failing to recognise that every emotion â from upbeat to angry â is a clue to discovering peopleâs personal values. Positive emotions are a sign that values are being met, while negative ones suggest that some work still needs to be done!
Itâs obvious that a situation has turned emotional when tears flow or an employee ratchets up the volume when he speaks, to the point that the entire office slips into an uncomfortable silence. Whatâs a little more difficult is knowing what to do with such passionate responses. Emotional reactions are often seen as negative behaviour in just about any workplace, but if you spend some time investigating and interpreting them, you can get a leg up on how to resolve the trouble. Check out Chapter 2 for a complete discussion of emotions at work.
Handling communication mishaps
Communication makes the world go round, and the same is true for you and your employees. Word choice, tone of voice and body language all contribute to whether or not you understand each other.
Using vague or confusing language causes communication misfires. Phrases such as âwhen you get a chanceâ, âseveralâ, or âsometimesâ donât accurately state what you really mean. Similarly, words like âalwaysâ and âneverâ can get you in trouble. Choosing your words wisely, and in a way that invites dialogue, makes for a less stressful work environment and models good communication. See Chapter 2 for more tips on communicating effectively.
Deciphering group dynamics
Two employees can completely understand each other and work like a well-oiled machine. Then a third co-worker joins the team, and now you have group dynamics in play. Wow, that changes everything! A team thatâs cohesive and meeting its goals can be exhilarating from managementâs perspective. But if cliques form and co-workers start looking for allies to enlist in power plays behind closed doors, communication breaks down.
Teams have a propensity to label members â the caretaker, the go-to guy, the historian and so on. Employees start to make assumptions based on the labelled roles, such as assuming that the go-to guy will happily accept any assignment you give him. Conjecture based on limited or selective information causes miscommunication, misunderstandings and, ultimately, conflict.
To address what happens when members of a group are undergoing difficulties, investigate how and when the problem started and determine if the problem stems from just a few staff members or if the impact is so great that you need to tackle the problem with the entire team. And flip to Chapter 3 for more information on ...
