Stuck Projects, Stuck Life
Is there something important you want to do? Maybe it's a career change you want to make, or a personal project you want to start. But for some reason, whatever it is, you haven't started yet. You're reading this book because you're stuck.
Consider us your coaches. For more than 20 years, we have traveled the world, working with people who are overwhelmed by the feeling of being stuck. We teach them how to get momentum. This book gives you the knowledge we've organized in a way that you can practice. These tactics work. We're not here to motivate you. There's more to it than that. We know you've heard inspiring clichés such as Nike's “Just do it” or “Leap and the net will appear” or “Think outside the box.” Enough already!
Read this book, and you'll learn strategies that people around the world use to start important projects and achieve big goals, such as:
- Making a career change.
- Changing how their family interacts to create less stress and more joy.
- Training for a competitive athletic event.
- Starting a business to get out of a job they hate and into the work they love.
- Creating art.
- Planning an adventure on their bucket list.
- Losing weight and staying active for a healthier life.
- Transforming their retirement into the next vibrant chapter in their life.
We want to help you move from feeling stuck to getting started. Be bold and courageous as you complete all the Get Momentum Activities in this book. Each activity is designed to help you move forward.
This Thing Called Momentum
Think about the word momentum. What does it mean to you? If you had more of it, what would your life be like?
Momentum means you're moving, and things are happening. It means you're making progress, and it feels good! We will teach you a self-reflective process, a method for making the changes you want and starting the projects that are important to you.
For a moment, focus on what you'd like to start. Maybe you know what you need to do, but it's too big to even start. Perhaps you have so many things you need to do that you feel overwhelmed. Or, it could be a change you want to make, or a project you want to complete.
Next, we'll share with you what being stuck sounds, looks, and feels like.
What Does Being Stuck Sound Like?
We asked people around the world why they haven't gotten started. They want to start a project or make a change, but… There's always a “but.”
Here are the top five things they say.
1. “I Don't Know”
“I don't know where to begin. I don't even know if it's possible to do what I want. I don't know what the result would look like. I don't know anyone who will guide me or hold me accountable.”
2. “What I Have is Fine”
“Things aren't terrible. They always say, ‘Don't fix what isn't broken.’ I'll just do what I've always done. It (the job, relationship, or living situation) isn't that bad. I'll just keep on keeping on. If things change, they change.”
3. “I've Failed Before”
“I tried to do something like this before, and it didn't work out. What's going to be different if I try again? Why should I keep working at it?”
4. “I'm Confused”
“I want something new, but that will undo some of the other things in my life. I'm not aligned with (my boss, partner, spouse, kids, etc.) on the changes yet. What if I make all these changes, and it's not better than what I've got now?”
5. “I'm Overwhelmed”
“This change I want to make is just too big and overwhelming. I'll never have the time it's going to take. I don't have the money to start it. I already have too much to do.”
What Does Being Stuck Look Like?
On one typical coaching day, Jason looked across the client's desk in his office on the 37th floor. A long-time client, Stephen (not his real name) was a senior manager in a professional advisory firm in New York City. Looking out the window, Jason took in the view of blue skies over Lower Manhattan.
Stephen had been silent for about three minutes now, lunch untouched, his brow furrowed, his shoulders taut. The stress in the room was thick; Jason felt it, and waited. Why the silence? Jason had asked Stephen a question he had never answered out loud.
One look around the office and you'd assume Stephen had everything together: the Hermès tie around his neck, the dual 27-inch computer monitors side-by-side on his standing desk, the framed family vacation photos on the desk, and a painting of a fogged-in Pebble Beach golf course hanging on the wall. Stephen scheduled this one-on-one coaching session because he knew that Jason helped people manage the complexity of work-life issues.
To put it bluntly, Stephen was overwhelmed, stressed out, and stuck.
Stephen confided in Jason that he was about to accept a promotion, and he would fly to London every other Sunday and return home Wednesday. He would manage a group of 200 people, and his increase in compensation would be around 15 percent. This was the role he'd focused on for the past 18 months. But, Jason could tell something was off.
Before lunch, Stephen told Jason he had been diagnosed with hypertension earlier that month and still hadn't picked up his meds. His wife was worried, he said. He was spending more time in the office than last year. What's more, his kids had started visiting colleges; all three would graduate high school in the next five years.
After a brief chat about the local baseball team, Jason asked, “Stephen, is the work you'd be doing what you want to be known for?”
The question hung in the air through an uncomfortable pause. After a long silence, he replied, “Jason, it's what I've been working toward for more than a year. My boss knew it. My wife knew it. But, as I map it out, I realize how stressful it will be. How much of my kids' lives I'd miss. How much pressure I'd be under to, how can I say it, be in two places at once.” Jason listened. Stephen went on.
“When I called you last month to set up our meeting, I thought I just needed to get more organized. The question you're asking me now, well, I just don't know.”
And so began a year-long coaching program focused on just one Momentum Question that got the ball rolling. As Stephen's executive coach, Jason was not going to motivate his New York City client to make a snap decision or set up an ultimatum. Instead, he was going to help Stephen take the very same actions that you will practice as you read Get Momentum: How to Start When You're Stuck.
What Does Being Stuck Feel Like?
A trait among people we coach—entrepreneurs, founders, managers, senior executives—is that they continue doing WUTW (what used to work). During a phone call with Jerry (not his real name), a two-year member of our Get Momentum Leadership Academy, he said, “Last year, I started going in to the office Saturday mornings once a month just to catch up.”
He continued, “Even though I know times have changed, and my role is different, it's necessary to work on the weekends. Honestly, I don't see a...
