Living on Purpose

Straight Answers to Universal Questions

Dan Millman

• Verlag: New World Library
• Jahr: 2010
• ISBN:
  9781577311591
• Thema: Personal Development
• Thema: Self Improvement

Each one of Dan Millman's best-selling books presents new keys to the "peaceful warrior's way of living." Each offers a different aspect of Dan's philosophy - relevant, user-friendly, real-world guidance for everyday life. For the first time, in Living on Purpose, Dan answers some of the toughest questions we face. Organized into twenty-four key principles to answer some of life's toughest questions, Living on Purpose refines and expands on the teaching of his other books with fresh insight. Each of the principles, in turn, features further questions and answers more specific, related challenges.Building a bridge between idealism and realism, Dan applies timeless principles to pressing questions from all over the world — questions on metaphysics, destiny versus free will, control and surrender, goal making, and setting life priorities, as well as common everyday challenges, such as child rearing, divorce, drugs, money and work, sexuality, and simplifying your life.In Living on Purpose, Dan Millman combines the wisdom of Solomon with the commonsense touch of Dear Abby, taking on real-world questions with the insight and knowledge that have drawn millions of readers to his books.

Life arises out of Mystery:
Moments unfold, things happen.
Our mind then creates meanings,
about what happens.
We see things not as they are, but as we are.
Viewing the world through windows
of interpretation and expectation,
our mind creates a drama, a comedy,
a tragedy, a romance, or a soap opera
out of what simply arises.
Thus, our mind creates our dreams and dramas;
and stress appears as the mind resists what is.
To attain freedom, make peace with Mystery;
to reinvent your world, shift your expectations.
Reality is not what we think.

Q: I am trying to accept the pain and suffering in the world without feeling bitter about humanity. How can different spiritual leaders say everything is as it should be? How can they view the world as perfect while people experiment on terrified animals, while wars and injustice and greed run rampant?

A: Our world contains both beauty and ugliness, kindness and cruelty. The question is, where shall we fix our attention? As an anonymous poet once wrote, “Two men looked out of prison bars; one saw mud and the other saw stars.” Even as you empathize with humanity’s growing pains, let the beauty, hope, and humor in this world soothe the wounds of your sensitive heart.

If we view the world only through the filter of our ideals, it will never measure up. Consider the influence of expectations on perception in the following anecdote: “A farmer was missing an ax from his tool shed. He suspected his neighbor’s young son. The boy looked like a thief, acted like a thief, and spoke like a thief. When the man eventually found his misplaced ax, his neighbor’s son looked, acted, and spoke like any other young boy.”

The fact that shadows exist, in the world and in ourselves, should not blind us to the light. So find hope in this understanding: It wasn’t easy for us to grow through adolescence into adulthood; neither is it easy for humanity to mature. As much as we might wish it otherwise, the world unfolds as it will. All we can do is raise our vision to find purpose in our growing pains. Meanwhile, take heart from what heroism and compassion you may find, and let these examples sustain you amidst the news of atrocities, war, and human folly. The trouble and pain we inflict and suffer are perfect not in the sense of being “okay,” but as an erupting volcano or exploding star is perfect—because such things happen in God’s universe. Are we so arrogant to think we know how the world should or will evolve?

For people to achieve all that is demanded of them, they must regard themselves as greater than they are. —Goethe

There’s a story about a cancer-ridden foot-ball player who lay in a hospital bed, managing a smile as his coach entered the room and asked how he was doing. “Okay, I guess,” the player replied. But his sunken eyes told a different story.

The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. —William James

After a long pause, the coach leaned close to the player’s face. “Listen, Mike. I need you at training camp in July, on the field, ready to go. We’re going all the way this year.”

Mike Westhoff, now recovered from bone cancer, is the special teams coach for the Miami Dolphins. He says of Coach Don Shula: “He treated me the way I could be, not the way I was. It made a difference.”

Hardship is part of life—but whether you view it as tragic orheroic, grotesque or purposeful, depends on your perspective. Your mind can make meaning or madness, light a candle or curse the darkness—the choice is yours. You can’t heal the world’s suffering, only your own. Accept life on its own terms. If you want a kinder world, then behave with kindness; if you want a peaceful world, make peace within. Your suffering serves no one. So let go of expectations and liberate your life. Only from your freedom can you free others.

The same battle in the clouds will be known only as lightning to the deaf, and as thunder to the blind. —George Santayana

Q: I have heard that you value action over emotions or beliefs. I believe our emotions make us feel alive. Isn’t it wrong to ignore our feelings?

A: I recommend that we completely accept our feelings, not ignore them. But acceptance is not the same as obedience. We can live and act on purpose despite the emotions or expectations that arise. Still, expectations and emotions do color our perceptions, which can in turn influence behavior.

To the dull mind, nature is leaden. To the illumined mind the whole world sparkles with light. —RalphWaldo Emerson

If I expect that people can (or cannot) be trusted, I will find evidence to support my expectation and I will tend to behave accordingly. If I invite a group of people on a camping trip, some will form expectations of panoramic vistas, roasted marshmallows, crackling campfires, and starry night skies. Others will imagine snakes, bears, bugs, pit toilets, and dirt. Their expectations may influence their behavior—but influence does not mean control. We can rise above negative expectations so they do not limit our lives.

The idea of “going with our feelings” means trusting our intuitive wisdom—not following every emotional impulse. A life driven by ever-changing emotions tends to be chaotic, like a spinning compass. (One definition of insanity is the compulsion to act out every thought or emotion.) We can feel confused, lustful, fearful, delighted, murderous, or even suicidal feelings—without acting on these feelings.

We often take the limits of our own vision for the limits of the world. —Schopenhauer

The influence of emotions and expectations on behavior can work for or against us. The key is to become aware of the power of expectations. Then we can use them, as the following story illustrates:

George, a Berkeley graduate student in mathematics, arrived late to class and quickly copied two problems for the day from the

blackboard, assuming they were the homework assignment. He found them extremely difficult—the hardest the professor had ever assigned. He worked late into the night, and the next night as well, trying without success to solve them. But he persisted, and several days later, he experienced a breakthrough. George slipped his solutions into a pile of papers on the professor’s desk the following day. On a Sunday morning not long after, George was awakened by a pounding on his door. George was surprised to find his professor, who exclaimed, “George, you’ve solved them!”

There are three truths: my truth, your truth, and the truth. —Chinese proverb

“Yes,” George answered. “Wasn’t I supposed to?”

” The professor explained that those two problems were not homework, but famous problems that had puzzled the world’s leading mathematicians— problems that George had solved in a few days. George Dantzig is now a mathematics professor at Stanford University. His feat may have inspired the critical plot point in the film Good Will Hunting. If George had known that these were two famous unsolved problems, he might not have even tried to solve them. But what George expected he could accomplish, he did. By paying attention to our expectations and emotions, we can learn from them, even while living on purpose.

It is not easy to behave constructively in the face of negative expectations or emotions, just as it is not easy for an alcoholic to stay sober—and not easy to say a kind word when we feel angry or sad. But whether or not life is easy, our behavior determines how we live.

Those who believe they can, and those who believe they can’t, are both right. —Henry Ford

Ultimately, it may be best to replace our expectations with a neutral state of alert anticipation and openness to whatever life may bring, accepting life as it unfolds.

 

Personal Applications

If the subject of an ocean cruise comes up, do you expect fresh breezes, delicious and abundant food, poolside shuffleboard, dancing under starlight, and exotic ports of call? Or do you imagine rough water, small quarters, and seasickness—the Titanic?

If you have gone on a cruise—or on a camping trip—did reality match your expectations, or were there some surprises?

Positive expectations don’t always breed positive experiences. Those with idealistic expectations are often disappointed when reality doesn’t meet them.

• Have you gone to a film or party or vacation expecting it to be absolutely fantastic? Did your experience meet your expectation? Do you think your experience would have been different if you had different expectations, or none at all?
• Write down your expectations about an upcoming event in your life. Then after the event occurs, review what you wrote down. Did reality match your imagination? What does this tell you?

 

 

The universe was created to teach us,
not to judge us.
Yet we judge ourselves and our world.
Those quick to judge are slow to compassion.
Those slow to compassion have forgotten that
hurtful peopl...