PART ONE: OUT OF THE WOODS
PROLOGUE
CONNOR inspects a door.
CONNOR: Thereâs a number of features you have to take into account. This is a good model, good solid wood, nice coat of paint, nice look to it.
Itâs heavy.
It swings wellâsee that swing? Really relaxed on the hinges, Iâm not doing very much, yeah? Thatâs just the natural momentumâthatâs good.
Locationâs really important. People go for the bedroom one usually, but then itâs on their terms. Then, after itâs happened, youâre in your room, which is where theyâd tell you to go anyway. Youâre incarcerating yourself.
So I prefer one like thisâmiddle of the house, near the living room, nice echoey hallway. Lovely acoustics here, good solid resonance.
And then you loosen the thing upâsee, thereâs that swing. Really beautiful movement, does half the work for you.
And then ⊠you just say the magic words.
MUM and DAD enter, mid-argument with CONNOR.
MUM: Connor Nicholls, donât you dare go an/
CONNOR: /I said, leave me the fuck alone!
He swings the door and it slams, loudly. Beat.
And thatâs a good door.
SCENE ONE
CONNOR: The most annoying thing about Mum and Dad ⊠is they used to be kind of nice. If I think back, I can remember some good stuffâlike this one time, after we finished painting the side of the house:
The three stand in weary silence, viewing a wall. DAD puts an arm around CONNOR.
DAD: Job, mate.
CONNOR: Or this evening a couple of months ago:
MUM is on the couch as CONNOR enters.
MUM: Hi, Connor.
CONNOR: Hi, Mum.
MUM: Friday nightâyou going out?
CONNOR: Um ⊠no. No, I reckon Iâll stay in.
MUM: Ohâokay. You want a cup of tea?
CONNOR: Nah.
He sits down beside her.
What are you watching?
MUM: An SBS thingâitâs about insects.
CONNOR: Oh, yeah?
They sit together, in contented silence.
Or even this, when we hired a dumb boat last summer and everything went wrong.
All are frustrated. MUM goes for the oars.
MUM: Look, will you just let me/
CONNOR: /I can do it, Mum!/
MUM: /Weâve been going the wrong way for half an h/
DAD: /Just give her the oars, Connor!
In the struggle, an oar goes overboard. A tense silence ⊠broken by all laughing.
CONNOR: Even some of the arguments are cool. But not anymore. Not since they got all weird and crazy.
DAD holds his wallet.
DAD: What does âI donât knowâ mean?!
CONNOR: âI donât knowâ means I donât know!
DAD: You donât know where itâs gone?
CONNOR: Thatâs what I said, didnât I?/
DAD: /Iâm not asking what you saidâIâm asking you for the truth! Thereâs a twenty-dollar note missing from my wallet and I think the person who took it was yo/
CONNOR: /Yeah, and maybe your wife took it âcause youâre always so tight, and you never buy any of us anything, and every single penny goes on an extension that you donât even need, âcause Iâll be gone as soon as I can, and then youâve got this whole stupid house all to yourselves!
Silence.
DAD: You donât fight fair, Connor.
CONNOR: ⊠I donât want to fight at all.
DAD: Mm.
He walks away.
CONNOR: Later that day I buy twenty dollars worth of mixed lolli...