Part One
Birth of a Hero
Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be with Your Public Speaking Skills
You donât need to born with special abilities or be bitten by a radioactive speaking bug in order to be an effective, engaging speaker. Regardless of where you are nowâterrified of, or merely bumbling on, the stageâyou can become a better speaker.
What Youâll Learn In this Part:
How to overcome the fear of speaking
How to develop your roadmap to speaking success
Best practices for practicing your presentations
Chapter 1
Your Secret Origin Story: Overcoming the Fear of Speaking
âIf you have a crippling fear of public speaking, recognize that that is perfectly normal.â
âDana Perino
âWhen you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.â
âHonorĂ© de Balzac
It has been estimated that 75% of all people experience some degree of anxiety or nervousness when it comes to speaking in public. Some peopleâs fear of public speaking is so great they have a disorder called glossophobia. If you picked up this book and are reading it, you are not part of that minority, but you may experience some anxiety and discomfort at the idea of speaking in front of an audience.
When I took my first speaking class in High School, I was so nervous giving a speech that I felt my ears get very warm and I thought for sure everyone could see them glowing red. My hands shook, I felt light-headed, and sometimes it got so bad I saw purple at the edges of my vision and nearly fainted.
Some of the speakers I interviewed for this book had even worse starts than I did!
E.G. Sebastian« used to feel ill whenever he had to give a speech. âI had a phobia of speaking,â he says. âIf I had to speak for 30 seconds, my knees would start shaking. I would have a terrible, terrible stomach cramp. I would feel like everybody could see my heart beating through my jacket or my shirt, whatever I would wear. I would feel like I could collapse in any moment. And only after about 30 seconds or a minute, my throat would feel really funny and I would break down . . . and cry.â Now he gives presentations in multiple languages!
Linda Brandt« said she was so nervous she blacked out during her first speech. âUnfortunately,â she says, âmy speech was on the effects of LSD. My classmates thought I was doing a demonstration and laughed hysterically, until I didnât come up off the floor.â That experience spurred her on to overcome her fear. âI now speak before large audiences, TV, radio and I just did some speaking where I was televised via satellite around the world. So, itâs pretty exciting.â
Marty M. Fahncke« suffered from stage fright so bad he thought heâd never be able to speak in public. âThat was back in school in public speaking class,â he says. âWhen it was time to stand up on stage and present a memorized piece to the audience, I completely froze up with stage fright. I was pouring with sweat, shaking, my voice would not come out of my mouth and my brain completely forgot what I was supposed to say. I was given multiple opportunities to try and present that information by the instructor. And multiple times I failed.â He eventually overcame his speaking anxiety and now speaks regularly to promote his business.
Although the class clown, Patty Kreamer« would freeze up in class when attempting a speaking assignment. This fear followed her into adult life. In fact, she feared speaking so much she moved out of town twice in her career in order to avoid speaking for her job.
I hope you can see that you can overcome speaking Âanxietyâif you choose to. And donât let it stop you if you feel a little nervous whenever you get up to speak. Mostâif not allâspeakers feel some nervous energy when getting up on stage.
Where are you on the fear scale?
On a scale from 1 to 10, where 10 means âterrified to the point of faintingâ and 1 means âwhatâs to fear?â, how fearful or anxious does speaking make you? As you work through this chapter and this book, periodically reevaluate where you are on the fear scale. Youâll notice as you get more confident in your skills, your score will drop. Isnât that a great thing to look forward to?
To help you keep track of your progress, download this handout âFear Scale Tracking Sheetâ here: publicspeakingsuperpowers.com/feartracker.
Harness Your Nervous Energy
âI think many public speakers, and myself included, are probably more nervous in the two minutes before they go on stage, than when theyâre actually on stage,â says Dr. Gregory A. Buford«.
âI donât think Iâve ever met any really good speaker who doesnât admit to having some semblance of a little bit of butterflies before they go out,â says Eric Gilboord«. âI believe that if you donât have some anxiety, youâre either a liar or youâre fooling yourself.â
Speakers learn to harness their nervous energy to enhance, rather than sabotage, their presentations. They transform this energy into something that works for them rather than against them. This is a skill you can develop, too. You can learn to harness your nervous energy and turn it into excitement, channeling it into your passion for your topic.
âYour adrenal glands are supposed to create adrenaline, which we call nerves,â says Anthony Cudjo«. âYouâre nervous. Thatâs energy. Now, what you do with that energy . . . you can let that energy defeat you, or you can channel that energy to propel you forward in life and make you who you want to be and create what you really want out of life. So, I love when I go out on the stage and Iâm nervous. I take that energy and I direct it in a positive way towards my audience. And then they bring that energy back to me in a positive way. So, itâs a synergistic exchange of energy. I tell people, if youâre nervous, thatâs a good thing. Youâll never stop being nervous. Iâve been speaking for fifteen years, and every single time I get in front of a group of people, Iâm nervous. So, embrace that.â
âThe fear is going to be there,â Catherine Bell« says. âYour heart is going to race and if you can specifically push that into the first few words that youâre saying, I find that most effective.â Typically, people who are nervous speaking will start out with a quiet voice. As they become more relaxed, their voice increases. This can have a negative effect on your presentation. So, Bell suggests fueling âyour voice with the nervous energy thatâs coming through at that time.â
Laurel Clark« suggests using mindfulness and meditation techniques to control nerves. âOftentimes, particularly when people get nervous,â she says, âthey start talking really fast. They donât listen to themselves. They stumble over their words. They sometimes can even lose their train of thought. So, the ability to slow the mind down and to listen to yourself is very effective.â
There are exercises that can help you learn how to concentrate and slow down your mind. âFor example,â Clark says, âspending 10 minutes a day focusing on the tip of your finger. Or sometimes people use the second hand of a clock. Or a candle flame. Having some object to focus on for even 10 minutes a day. Itâs amazing what that does to be able to slow down the mind and to focus.â This is a simple form of meditation that, with practice, can help you master your mind and nervous energy.
Nancy Daniels« suggests learning to breathe to control not only your sound, but also your nervousness. âShallow or lazy breathing, which is typical of the majority of the population, actually increases your stress,â she says. However, if you breathe slowly from your diaphragm, you can fool your body into calmness, while improving the sound of your voice.
Some nervousness is good, Daniels says. Breathing in this calming, supportive way can harness your nervous energy to work for you, taking your presentation to the next level. âThe secret though,â she says, âis controlling it. And thatâs what the breathing allows you to do.â
Tia Brewer« also uses breath to calm her nerves. She uses it to help her visualize speaking to friends or loved ones. âIâve got some buddies that theyâve invited me into their living room to inform them about whatâs going on. So, it turns into more of a conversation versus a speech,â she says. âTake a deep breath. Relax. And recognize that you know what? Iâm speaking to a small group of people or one person. If you were to make a mistake itâs almost as if that group has become your family or your friends. And theyâre so forgiving.â
The Audience Is Rooting for You
The audience is not your enemy, says Maria Ross«. âThey are not wanting you to fail, because itâs their time, too,â she says. âWhen you step on that stage, they have just as high hopes for you as you do for yourself. So, engage with that and donât start out defensively or scared or not confident, because that will quickly turn the crowd against you.â
Remember, the audience is there to hear what you have to say. âThey are there to support you and for you to be successful,â says Carol McManus«. âTheyâre not there to harm you. They donât want you to fail.â
Barry Maher« puts it this way: âThey want you to succeed. They really do. They donât want to watch a train wreck and sit through it for an hour, hour and a half, or whatever. They want you to succeed. They want you to be relevant. Be meaningful. They want you to be entertaining, or whatever you are supposed to be. So, theyâre rooting for you there. And itâs okay to be a little human.â
âThey might hate you, they might love you, they may not care,â says Joel Schwartzberg«, âbut all of them, no question, they do not want to be bored. So, in that case, no matter who they are, that audience is really supporting you in that they want you to be interesting.â
Overcome Your Anxiety One Step at a Time
âSmall increments and small successes create an environment where confidence can be learned at a rate thatâs comfortable for the learner,â says Marilyn Wolf«. âThat confidence allows and encourages the learner to try a little more next time.â
The first step in overcoming your fear of public speaking is to decide you want to do so. Then take small steps toward that goal. Speak in front of one person, then two, then five. Grow your audience at a comfortable rate so you get those wins and build your confidence.
Overcoming Speaking Anxiety Exercises
The best way to overcome your fear of speaking is to start speaking in front of groups. However, for some people, this may be too big of a first step. Here are some exercises you can do to get to the point where you can at least speak in front of small groups.
Exercise 1: You Are the Audience
This exercise helps you get used t...