Frontal Lobe 1
A Patient is sitting at a table, staring fixedly at an unlit candle. He takes a match from a box beside him, lights it, blows it out. He is about to light it again when the Doctor who has been observing him puts his hand on his arm.
DoctorIf you please, don’t light the candle.
PatientVery well.
The Doctor takes away the matches.
DoctorDo you know where you are?
PatientIn hospital.
DoctorYou know why you are in hospital?
PatientYes, my son had an accident.
DoctorYour son?
PatientYes.
The Doctor places the matches close to the Patient.
DoctorWasn’t it you I examined yesterday?
PatientYes, you fiddled with my ear. I feel much better now. Thank you.
The Patient lights a match and moves it towards the candle.
DoctorDidn’t I ask you not to light the candle?
PatientExcuse me. (He blows out the match.)
DoctorI’m going to tap twice on the table, like this.
He does so. The Patient at once begins to copy him.
DoctorWait. I’ll tap twice and you once. Yes?
PatientYes.
DoctorI tap twice, you once.
PatientOnce, yes. (He taps twice.)
DoctorVery well. Since you prefer tapping twice, you’ll go on tapping twice and I’ll tap once. Clear?
PatientQuite clear!
The Doctor taps once. The Patient also taps once. The Doctor makes various gestures: crosses his arms, his legs, stands. The Patient does likewise. The Doctor puts his hands together in prayer. The Patient does likewise.
DoctorNow tell me, why have you put your hands together like this?
PatientBecause you asked me to.
DoctorI never asked you anything.
PatientBut you did it.
DoctorYes, but I’ve never asked you to do what I did.
PatientBut since you did it, it was obvious.
Frontal Lobe 2
A Patient is waiting.
DoctorSit down. If I’m not mistaken, you were a teacher in a religious institution.
PatientYes.
DoctorWhat were you teaching in this institution?
PatientPsycho-physio.
DoctorSpiritual psycho-physio?
PatientYes.
DoctorThen you must know what the Vatican is.
PatientThe Vatican, yes.
DoctorWhat is the Vatican?
PatientIn principle, it’s an oral demonstration, eventually an Aboriginal Africa quite simply. Pope John the Twenty-Second lives there, around him there are the other popes: John Twenty-Two, John Twenty-Three, John Twenty-Four, John Twenty-Five, John Twenty-Six, and the archangels as well.
DoctorWhere is the Vatican?
PatientIn the city of Rome in Spain.
DoctorWhat’s the Pope’s nationality?
PatientHe is Spanish from New Zealand.
DoctorTell me some names of animals.
PatientA monkey, an elephant, a Buffalo Bill, a tickle my foot, a giraffe, an ass’s back, a zigomat, a buffalo, two buffaloes, three buffaloes, four buffaloes, five buffaloes, six buffaloes, seven buffaloes, eight buffaloes, nine buffaloes . . .
DoctorGood. Now some words beginning with the letter F.
PatientA fact, a fetish, a factotum, a fiasco, a fabrication, a phenomenon, a two times twenty, a fippopotamus, a frigoïd.
DoctorWhat day is it today?
PatientPaedophilia.
The Doctor shows him a pen.
DoctorWhat’s this?
PatientA mystical ambulance.
The Doctor shows him a red pen.
DoctorAnd this?
PatientA red mystical ambulance.
DoctorDescribe me a drum.
PatientAh, that’s not so easy. It’s a resonating instrument that’s round. It rocks. You can unwind the drum, the cables, its body’s like a crooked woman, with a belt in the middle. And it’s covered with parchment, in front, behind and on the sides.
DoctorIf I say ‘Little Red Riding Hood’, what does that mean to you?
PatientA caretaker with ten keys.
DoctorPerhaps you know her story? Can you tell it to me?
PatientA hunter in a forest with his wife. There’s a little girl dressed in red. They make her a little red hood. She’s very pretty. The colour attracts him. She begins to run, the wolf runs as well, so as to catch her and chew her up. Perhaps that’s not quite right.
DoctorVery good. Now we’ll try something harder. Take these three words: crisis, minister, president. Now make up a sentence with these three words.
PatientThe president asked the kitchen to boil him an egg.
DoctorAnd a sentence with crowd and heap.
PatientA heap is a badly made crowd. Anyone can get into it. Nobody worth anything would ever be in a heap.
DoctorAbsolutely true! Let’s try something different . . . Please draw a large circle on the table.
He gives a felt pen to the Patient, who slowly and laboriously draws a circle on a large sheet of paper. However, when it is complete, he cannot stop. The movement of his am gets faster and faster. The circle becomes a frenetic spiral, until it reaches a central point wher...