Active Listening: Improve Your Ability to Listen and Lead

Hoppe

• Verlag: Center for Creative Leadership Press
• Jahr: 2006
• ISBN:
  9781604916607
• Thema: Business
• Thema: Leadership

Listening well is an essential component of good leadership. You can become a more effective listener and leader by learning the skills of active listening. Working relationships become more solid, based on trust, respect, and honesty. Active listening is not an optional component of leadership; it is not a nicety to be used to make others feel good. It is, in fact, a critical component of the tasks facing today's leaders.

How to Improve Your Listening Skills

This section offers specific tips and activities to help you practice and hone your active listening skills. Look back at the assessment that you completed on pages 4–5. If you gave yourself a 4 or 5 on any item, find that item below. We’ve listed tips for addressing each one; use the margin to add ideas of your own. Then use our suggestions and your ideas to set goals and practice plans.

1. I sit behind my desk, accept phone calls, shuffle papers….

• Select a place and time that make distractions and disruptions less likely.

• Ask others not to disturb you.

• If you are in the middle of something important, ask the other person for a few minutes to complete your task. Then pay full attention to him or her.

2. I have a hard time concentrating on what is being said.

• Turn toward the other person, make eye contact, and remove things in front of you that may distract you.

• With permission from the other person, take notes to help you remember important points.

• If a session gets long, suggest a breather.

3. I am annoyed when someone slows me down.

• Consider the potential costs of not slowing down and listening to the other person.

• Offer the other person a specified amount of time during which you will be fully attentive. If the conversation is not finished by then, suggest another time to continue.

• Be proactive. Make room on your calendar every day to walk around and visit with people. Let them know you want to hear their concerns, suggestions, and needs.

4. I think about what I want to say next….

• Set a goal of being able to repeat the last sentence the other person has said.

• Allow yourself time to formulate your response after the other person finishes speaking.

• Remind yourself that your primary goal as a listener is to understand, not to fix.

5. I don’t like it when someone questions my ideas or actions.

• Ask yourself why you think that your ideas and actions can’t be improved upon.

• Ask someone you trust to give you feedback when you come across as a know-it-all.

• Pay attention to your body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, and gestures when you’re questioned.

6. I interrupt or show signs of impatience….

• Focus on what is being said, not what you want to say.

• Give the other person permission to call you on interrupting him or her.

• Allow yourself time to formulate your response after the other person finishes speaking.

7. I give advice too soon….

• Consider that the other person may primarily need to be heard and understood.

• Ask open-ended questions that encourage the other person to offer ideas.

• Don’t be afraid of silence. It gives the other person a chance to continue, and it gives you a chance to collect your thoughts.

8. I tell people not to feel the way they do.

• Feelings are real for the people experiencing them. Don’t expect people not to have them.

• Acknowledge the other person’s feelings and include them in your interpretation of what’s going on.

• Ask the other person to describe how his or her feelings affect work and relationships.

9. I sense that people seem upset after talking to me.

• Summarize the key points you heard the other person make. Ask whether that was what he or she was trying to communicate.

• Ask someone you trust to observe you during conversations with others and give you feedback.

• List two or three things that you may have done to contribute to the other person’s reaction. At an opportune time, check them out with him or her.

10. I tend to talk significantly more than the other person talks.

• Apply the 80:20 rule. Do 80 percent of the listening and 20 percent of the talking.

• Periodically paraphrase what you have heard the other person say: “Let me see whether I heard you correctly…”

• Don’t be afraid of silence. It gives the other person a chance to continue, and it gives you a chance to collect your thoughts.

11. I make it a point to fill any silences.

• Ask yourself why you’re uncomfortable with silence. Extroverted preferences? Desire to appear decisive?

• Don’t be afraid of silence. It gives the other person a chance to continue, and it gives you ...