From Depression to Contentment

A Self-Therapy Guide

Bob Rich

• Éditeur: Loving Healing Press
• Année: 2019
• ISBN:
  9781615994373
• Sujet: Desarrollo personal
• Sous-sujet: Salud mental y bienestar

From Depression to Contentment: A Self-Therapy Guide is a course of therapy in your pocket. You can be your own therapist, changing the way you see yourself and your world. Not only does this save lots of money, it also is 100% confidential. The book starts with first aid, provides an understanding of the nature and causes of suffering, instructs you in research-based techniques for dealing with your problems and, finally, teaches you an actual cure for depression.

• Every tool in this book is based on research, but presented in an easy to understand, easy to apply manner.
• With homework assignments, you will find your inner strengths, uncover the true source of happiness and develop great resilience.
• Learn how to put the philosophies of all great religions to practical use, even if you are an atheist.
• This program can help you start a new life - one of meaning, positivity and purpose.
• Unlike instructional books, this book is not only useful but also enjoyable.

"If you're depressed and need someone who 'gets' you, who has been there and who can walk you through the journey toward a life worth living, then From Depression to Contentment will be your new best friend. Bob meets you where you are and can lead you home to yourself."
-- Petrea King, CEO and founder of Quest for Life Foundation

"Combining his personal and professional experience, Dr. Rich offers a valuable self-help tool for those seeking additional insight for coping with depression. The suggested exercises are easy to follow with an explanation of what they are helping with. And he does it all with a great sense of humor woven in."
-- Chynna T. Laird, author of Not Just Spirited: A Mom's Sensational Journey with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)

"Dr. Bob Rich has created a simple and direct guide to beat back depression for good. Put forth in easy to digest bits, the approach uses small, effective steps to move past the overwhelm of depression."
-- Diane Wing, M.A., author of The Happiness Perspective: Seeing Your Life Differently

"The essential message of the book is that you can beat depression by improving the quality of your thinking, your behavior and your life. Overall, a wonderfully refreshing and practical self-help guide to healing from depression and living a fulfilling life."
-- Beth Burgess, psychotherapist, author of Instant Wisdom, The Happy Addict, and The Recovery Formula

"Depression can be turned into a positive and can actually enrich our lives if we just try. It is not easy to acquire the skills and the knowledge necessary to learn to cope well and to recover, but this book will make the effort easier. Specific interventions - like guided imagery and mindfulness meditation - are suggested and explained. All-in-all, this is a valuable manual on how to live well with depression and acquire the right skills and knowledge that will tame the depression to a point where the person will live well without being affected by symptoms."
-- Alfredo Zotti, author of Alfredo's Journey: An Artist's Creative Life with Bipolar Disorder

1	You need to be crazy to stay sane in a crazy world

Pessimism vs. optimism is one of the dimensions of human personality. Interesting research shows that pessimists are consistently more realistic than optimists. This is because reality is far worse than you could think without getting depressed.

Diagnosed depression is a galloping epidemic. The facts are admirably summarized by Tyrell and Elliot (https://tinyurl.com/bobrich01). Their main conclusions are worth repeating:

• Major depression is the No. 1 psychological disorder in the western world. It is growing in all age groups, in virtually every community, and the growth is seen most in the young, especially teens. At the rate of increase, it will be the second most disabling condition in the world by 2020, behind heart disease.

• More than ever, we need to look at alternatives to drugs that will equip us to deal effectively with the triggers that allow depression to take hold again and again. This is where drug treatments fail.

• People of all ages, backgrounds, lifestyles, and nationalities suffer from major depression, with a few exceptions.

• Up to 20% of people experience symptoms of depression.

According to Martin Seligman, depression in 1984 was 10 times as frequent as in the 1950s.

So, if you’re depressed, it’s not the fault of your biology, individual circumstances, or personality, but of the world you live in. Maybe you’re just smarter and more perceptive than others who are lucky enough to carry on OK in a toxic culture.

If depression was mainly a matter of heredity, it wouldn’t be a growing problem. The fact of its rapid increase points the finger at society, not the individual. Nevertheless, the causation of any psychological reaction is always complex. To learn to gain a less painful way of reacting, we need to understand what leads us to extended periods of sadness. So, read on!

This is a User’s Guide

Depression is a way of seeing the world; a way of being. It isn’t a disease, a disorder, or a chemical imbalance. It’s not something you are, or have, but something you DO.

There is a lot of evidence for my statement, but this is a user’s guide, not some academic treatise. I am not interested in getting into scholarly arguments.

The causes, nature and treatment of depression are best described in an excellent article Michael Gathercole published in the Australian Journal of Counselling Psychology in 2004. It didn’t make the impact it should have, so I’ve reproduced it with permission on my website http://anxietyanddepression-help.com as “An important NEW MODEL OF DEPRESSION.” And that’s almost all the academic stuff you’ll get from me in this book.

I have two credentials for writing this user’s guide.

First and most important, I personally lived with depression from infancy. Without realizing it, I started to do therapy on myself when I was 21. By 23, I had it in control all by myself. A crash would come occasionally—then I fixed it. This went on for another 20 years. When I was 43, I noticed that the depression was gone. Previous invariable triggers failed to drag me down. (My personal journey is described in two of my books: Anikó: The stranger who loved me http://bobswriting.com/aniko.html, and Ascending Spiral: Humanity’s last chance http://bobswriting.com/ascending.html).

If I could do it, you can do it.

I did have a relapse in 2011, as a reaction to a loss I hadn’t thought would affect me. Using the tools I’d developed to cure myself, I returned to contentment in three weeks.

Second, I have a Ph.D. in psychology, and provided psychotherapy for decades. So, I do understand all the science, and know what I am talking about. If I could be successfully of service to my clients, I can be successfully of service to you.

As with any manual, you need to DO what it recommends. You can’t learn tennis by reading a book about how to do it. You can’t change your world by reading a book about how to do it.

I’ll start with first aid, which helps everyone in any situation. Then we’ll get an understanding of depression, and finally go onto the specifics of living a contented life, even if we are on the planet of the insane (“normal people” who do what everyone does).

2	Basic First Aid

There are seven requirements for a contented life. All of them may be present to varying degrees. If you have a good dose of all seven, you’ll have the inner strength and resilience to support you in your fight against Depression, Anxiety and similar devils.

Your Depression knows this. It knows the list, even if you don’t. It protects itself by sabotaging as many of these requirements as possible. It can do this very well. So, first aid, the way to fight back, is to return these seven features into your life. The rule is:

Whatever Your Depression Tells You, Do the Opposite

I’ll briefly discuss the list here, so you can take immediate action, before examining what depression is and isn’t, then presenting tools for controlling it, and finally tools for getting rid of it altogether—most of the time.

The seven first-aid measures are:

• Healthy eating

• Satisfying sleep

• Regular physical exercise

• Regular fun

• Creativity

• Social connectedness

• Meaning

Since this is a first aid list, I’ve ordered it so that the easiest to implement is at the top.

Note what is NOT on the list:

• Wealth

• Success

• Status

• Beauty

• Romantic love

• Youth

• Physical health

• Absence of pain

• Freedom from stress

• Having a job

• Getting out of your job/marriage/stressful social situation

...and all the other reasons people tend to associate with their mood.

The last requirement, meaning, comes from the work of Viktor Frankl. You just have to read his inspiring book, Man’s Search for Meaning. The other six come from anthropological research on the lifestyles of hunter-gatherer people. You see, genetically, we are identical to our ancestors from up to perhaps 10,000 years ago. By analyzing the lives of modern hunter-gatherers, anthropologists have extracted the essentials of the lifestyle humans have evolved in, and that’s the list I’ve given you.

Think of my recommendations as antidepressants. Only, these antidepressants have several huge advantages over nasty little pills:

• Many of them are free. Those that cost money have other benefits. These benefits are what you pay for; the antidepressant aspect is free.

• They have no undesirable side-effects. In fact, most of them have very pleasant and desirable side-effects.

• Like prescription antidepressants, they’re habit-forming, but since they feel nice and do you good, this is an advantage rather than a disadvantage.

• The only withdrawal effect is the risk that Depression (or whatever your monster is) may return.

Let’s now look at each of the seven requirements for contentment, see how monsters like Depression sabotage them, and how you can protect yourself.

Healthy Eating

Depression starves some people. It tricks others into ill health and obesity by getting them to eat too much, and all the wrong kinds of food. Either way, its job is easy in today’s crazy society: even people who are not suffering distress are likely to eat badly, and many of the common foods are full of stuff that does you harm.

Eating Too Little

Fred didn’t want to get counseling. He knew it couldn’t possibly help him—nothing could. Life was hopeless, and that was that. But when he mentioned killing himself to his doctor, he was given my leaflet and ordered to see me. He canceled the first appointment, because his car (conveniently) broke down. He didn’t show up for the second. I phoned him, and after a long conversation, he at last made the effort to be there the third time.

Sound familiar? It may well be if you’re in the grip of deep Depression.

When we finally sat face to face, I asked him what was making his life so miserable that he contemplated suicide. A whole list of woes emerged, but the top item was, “I can’t eat. If I have something, I feel like chucking up.”

“Have you ever done so?”

“No, but it sure feels like it.”

I knew that his doctor had checked him out for any physical problems, so I told him, “Food is medicine. Eat a tiny bit, doesn’t matter how it makes you feel, and do this every now and then until you have enough to keep you going.”

We organized a few strategies. He bought grapes, and popped them one at a time, ten minutes or so apart. He made a cheese sandwich, cut it into eight pieces and ate one piece, went on with whatever he was doing, ate another little square, and so on.

At first, the nausea persisted. But, while he fed his body regardless of how bad he felt after it, he was starving his Depression. Within a couple of weeks, he could eat a normal meal.

By the way, Fred wasn’t his real name, and I’m not even saying if the client was male or female. All my examples in this book are real, but I’ve changed identifying details. Where I could, I’ve asked the person’s permission for inclusion.

Eating Too Much

Depression tricks you into becoming overweight through “comfort eating” or “boredom eating,” and always the things you swore you won’t touch (but have handy all the same). You feel guilty, and put on weight—and this gives something else that your Depression can use to beat you over the head.

First aid is to get rid of all the wrong foods and store up on things that are good for you: apples, carrots, celery, chewy dried apricots, and nuts of various kinds. When you feel like some comfort food, eat a small amount of one of these, then congratulate yourself. Tell all the people in your life that you’re switching your food intake in this way, and ask them to help by keeping the problem foods away from you.

Shopping is the danger time. Make it a rule: you come with a shopping list. If it’s not on the list, don’t buy it. The internet allows you to be up to date on specials in your neighborhood store, so even a reduced price shouldn’t lead to impulse buying. If you do slip and buy something from the old times, punish yourself by giving it away. Then, being generous to someone else will make you feel good about yourself.

Satisfying Sleep

As with food, Depression can trick you into either too much or too...